Week Three

January17/ 2000

… when a pre-game evacuation is the highlight of the night, you know there were no victory bonfires on Franklin Street this week….  Duke is doing better against the State of Virginia than Oklahoma is with the City of Los Angeles ….  So much for Reggie Herring’s reputation …. Wuffs barely break a sweat in warm-up for “The Game”…. “Cliff & Al” are sharpening pitchforks and gathering torch kindling… 

   In a post-Katrina  world no bureaucrat wants to be “the next Mayor of New Orleans” … skewered for not taking pre-emptive precautions when Mother Nature comes acalling.   At 6:55 Saturday night the Kenan PA ordered everyone to leave their seats and seek shelter from “approaching weather”.  56,000+ fans immediately came to the same conclusion – “What in the hell has that idiot Baddour done now?”  A pair of Wisconsin cheeseheads were heard saying “I hear their AD is a bit of a silly loon … this must be a scam to sell more pre-game popcorn.”

Some alert fans observed K-9 Corps sniffing about; but it was not “bombs” they were searching for but Carolina’s rushing offense.  They did not find it. 

This year’s Tar Heels are not a “bad” team.  This year’s Tar Heels are not a “good” team.  This year’s Tar Heels are 0-2 and bandwagon fans are bailing out quicker than they evacuated Kenan at 6:55.  And, of course, blaming Dickie for both.  

The unequivocal highlight for me was pre-pre-game evacuation at the Annual Lettermen’s BBQ in Tar Heel Town.  Frank “RamFanatic” Gay had arranged for former Bill Dooley assistant Billy Hickman to attend the game with his son.  Two of the principals in the most impactful personnel decision in UNC sports history were united – Coach Hickman and #23 from Garden City LI (Don McCauley).  Don was originally recruited to be one of Coach Hickman’s DBs but at his first practice was reassigned to Bobby Collins’ offensive backfield.  Billy Hickman’s loss was Tar Heel legends’ gain.  Frank also got to meet Battle WallAlbert Long and a bevy of former Tar Heels.  Frank is the type of REAL Tar Heel fan that deserves such an experience.

For those who didn’t know … Don is now with The Rams Club in a version of Phil Ford’s old position.  Don will do a super job in this new role.

Former Tar Heel Town “Mayor”, Matt Roberts was back in town.  Matt is now Sports Marketing Guru in Norman OK.  As we were catching up he got a score update from Pasadena where yet another LA-based school was whomping the crap out of Bob Stoops’ Sooners.  Matt says OU “hard times” this season is not a total shock.  Somehow they got caught “young and inexperienced”.  He compares it to what UNC will face in BB this season.

Speaking of LA-based teams … Ex-Wuffie Defensive Guru Reggie Herring managed to hold Matt Leinart’s Trojans to a mere 70 points over his Arkansas Hogs.  This after last week’s Hog loss to the now-mighty 3-0 Commodores of Vanderbilt.  Who can forget Arkansas paying Houston Nutt mega-bucks to keep him from heading to Nebraska two years ago.

Duke is midway thru its Old Dominion TriFecta … VaTech, VMI, and UVa in successive weeks.  Joe Alleva’s efforts to schedule E.C. Glass High School and Massanutten did not pan out.  Why are they called “Keydets” rather than “Cadets”?  Hokie Jim will know why, I’m sure.  10,000 rabid Duke FB fans packed Wallace Wade between the 45s to watch Ted Roof release his offensive juggernaut on the hapless visitors from Lexington.  Wonder if that one working urinal at Wallace Wade was  sufficient to handle the “crowd”. 

Clemson must be quite good this year … Maryland must not be.  Go back two years … Fridgy was being deified and Tommy was being vilified.  Yo Coach, what have you done for us LATELY?

NC State has bookended UNC.  A narrow loss to a VaTech team better than either of UNC’s opponents and a scrimmage massacre against some whozit “Directional school” that does not show up in Rand McNally OR Google.  All signs point to Wuff revenge massacre in Carter-Finley next Saturday EXCEPT “It’s a rivalry game”.  Based on both teams ’’infractionary propensity” each ref will come equipped with three flags.  Me, I settle for one ref (AND YOU KNOW WHO THAT WOULD BE, DON’T YOU!)  

SSays is introducing a new weekly section.  Each Sunday we will go dumpster diving among the various “fan websites” and see what “Cliff & Al” are huffing and puffing about.  Every comment we copy here was actually made by a for real human being who, as far as we know, has not been neutered YET and may live and/or work in your neighborhood … BE AFRAID – BE VERY AFRAID

 Huffing and Puffing With

 Cliff & Al 

  •   I think it is so ridiculous to honor Basketball players and coaches at a freaking Football game! That had to be one of the most idiotic things I have ever seen, IMO!
  •   WOW, I wish I could make right at 600,000 and accomplish nothing(in 5 years might I add).
  •   I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “You are what you are”. I have given up on John Bunting as a coach. He was never really qualified for the job anyway.
  •  Maybe last night’s halftime ceremony should have been entitled “Why Mack Left”.
  •  For these certain fans it’s like a big social meeting place for them to find out how many poular people they could meet. These people sit at work throught the week and say Jim, John, Jack I’m hearing that Bill Gates is going to be at the game so let’s go see how we could make our company better. They dress up and have their wives wear dresses and their little pearls and show up not want to see the game may I add.
  •  The real traitor to Carolina Football is one of our “own”. Dick Baddour, he must go. The firing needs to start there. Then we could move on to perhaps hiring a competent coaching staff.
  •  Whoever scheduled the week 1 bye forcing you to open the season with a conference road game should be shot.
  •  Realistic fans think Butch Davis in ’06
  •  I like Les Robinson, but he was not that successful but had a .500 record against Dean? He had a weak AD that was indecisive and wasn’t worried about on the field/on the court success? The parallels to Bunting seem obvious.
  • Frickin’ idiot Baddour… anyone with 1/2 a brain knew 3 years ago that Bunting was a bad hire. I’m surrounded by idiots.
  •  Why we don’t take drastic measures now is beyond me. If our admin showed the slightest amount of caring, we’d get a real coach in here ASAP.
  •  The whine and cheese elitest brass would spill their glasses of white zinfindel if UNC hired Steve Logan…they would rather crash and burn with one of their own…
  • Losing to State never sits well with the “big wigs”.

This Week’s Winner: 

“It doesn’t matter how good you are.  If you don’t have the talent, you’re not going to win.


 Swagger’s Stumper

Steve Sabol’s Daddy 

started what innovative sports-related entity?


    The largest stadium in the NFL is Dan Snyder’s FedEx Field in DC seating 91,000+.

    BobLee Alive will be in Wilson NC on Thursday of this week at Bill’s BBQ (noon) with the Wilson Rotary.  All BLS’ disciples in the area are invited.

    BLS slated to appear with Dave Glenn’s on WRBZ “The Buzz” this Wednesday from 3-5.  A special Lunatic Fringe filter will be installed on the incoming phone line.

   The eagerly anticipated “F-Bomb Alley Survival Manual” will be posted this Wednesday.  Any UNC fans still planning to attend the game on Saturday MUST read this column. 

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