Week One in The ACC

January17/ 2000

.. Folks in Norman and Auburn are in shock but folks in Greenville and South Bend are smiling big time.  The horses are outta the barn and the 2005 College Football race is on.  Swagger summarizes Week One in the ACC and sends a very sincere warning to Lee Fowler.  Unless “nobody died” is the benchmark, “F-Bomb Alley” is still going strong.

   A strong first weekend for “The New ACC”.  The two schools that needed wins more than anyone else, alas,  did not get them … Wake and Duke.  Those two won’t have too many opportunities left.  Is Coach Grobe really “too good a coach to be wasting away at Wake”.  If he’s so special, he beats Vandy at home.

Clemson can beat anyone if they can beat a legitimate “strong team” like aTm albeit by a hair and at home.  

Maryland sneaks by a tough Navy team.  Hokie Jim says Paul Johnson replaces Amato when the loss of Doc Holliday sinks Chuck’s ship in another two years. INCOMING! We’ll keep an eye on that one.  HJ knows his stuff.

Chan Gailey’s Jackets insured that Bunting’s Boys won’t be looking ahead to Wisconsin.  So far, rookie QBs are prime snacks for Tenuta’s blitzers.  Will Matt Baker be a pringle?  OTOH, a Tar Heel win would be QUITE impressive.  The Mizzus and I will be “on the flats” to see what happens.

Boston College whips BYU but it’s not your daddy’s BYU any more.  BC will win aplenty more games this year.  No one in central NC will pay much attention to them, but they will win a LOT.

Groh’s Hoos won but my Hokies pals were giggling at ol’ Al.  They find him quite amusing what with his $1.7 million contract.  Buying out fat contracts is a tradition “on the lawn”.

  It was nice to see a “Hurricane” not do much damage for a change.  Congrats to Chief Osceola and the felonious “Native Americans” of Tallahassee.  If Larry drops 2 more will he be on “the hot seat”?  We think so.

Wuffs Hokies was exactly the smash mouth slug-it-out we all expected.  One or two plays and silly Wuffs are reserving hotel rooms in Pasadena right now.  Blaming Chuck for the penalties or the stupid fair catch is like blaming Ol’ Roy if Felton misses a free throw.  It was a tough game between two “physical teams”.  Hokies are good for 8 Ws for sure miminum.  I did get REAL tired of seeing Mike Vick on the sidelines but I’ll blame the ESPN game producer for that.  Mike got more unnecessary camera time than Cindy Sheehan.  Watching “Vick leaves the stadium” was beyond bizarre. I spit up my Dr Pepper on that.


An Open Letter To Lee Fowler

 Dear Lee:

   Congratulations on Vaughn Towers and the continuing enhancements to Carter-Finley Stadium.  A lot of good things are happening at NC State.  A 4 point loss to a very strong Virginia Tech team is certainly no reason to lose any optimism for a fine 2005 season and a likely bowl opportunity in December.  But before all that transpires YOU HAVE A PROBLEM LEE.

  You have indeed taken some steps to clean up “F-Bomb Alley” in the Fairgrounds Parking Area.  No body died last Sunday.  I would hope your objectives are a tad bit higher than that.

I spent six hours Sunday afternoon at Ground Zero of “F-Bomb Alley” with a group of seasoned Hokie football fans.  I’m talking adults, average age 45-55, who follow the Hokies everywhere and have been doing so for 20 plus years.  They had an RV armada parked along the fence line near Gate 9 in the Fairgrounds Lot.  A lot of these guys were ex-military.  Hell, one served in the freakin’ Russian Army in Afghanistan.  Hardly men of hair trigger sensitivities offended by a smattering of profanity.

Their collective assessment of your Fairgrounds fan area was … “It’s not as bad as West Virginia … but certainly more out-of-control than anywhere else we’ve been in the ACC or Big East.”  Is THAT the bar you have set for NC State Athletics, Lee? “… not as bad as West Virginia!”  Say it ain’t so Dr. Goodnight and Gen. Shelton!

   You can choose to dismiss my remarks.  If for no other reason than “he’s a Tar Heel and therefore incapable of being objective”.  I’m not dissing NCSU.  I’m trying to save you from another major embarrassment.  So let’s cut to the chase, Lee.

On Saturday, September 24 a biennial backyard culture “war” will come to Carter-Finley Stadium and its environs.  It’s not Eastern Kentucky or Middle Tennessee or even Maryland or Virginia or East Carolina … it is “the Carolina Game”.  Unlike the Mayor of New Orleans, you know this storm is coming and you know where the eye will hit and you know it’s a Category “Off-The-Chart”.

Mark your schedule to meet me at the old racetrack in the Fairgrounds 60 minutes before kick-off.  It’s imperative that you bring Mrs Fowler and your daughters.  I will have Mizzus Swagger and “Kid” (who attends Broughton with your daughter).  I am asking Leon and Renee to join us.  It would be great if you could have “Peaches” join us.  I will have Tar Heel blue t-shirts and caps for all of us and will lead our little C-Blue troop through the mean streets of “F-Bomb Alley” to the base of Wolf Mountain.  Have Bobby Purcell waiting for us there.

When/If we reach the base of Wolf Mountain and you can look me in the eye and say 

“BobLee all the concerns about F-Bomb Alley are exaggerated.  

Its just typical high-spirited football fans having a good time.”  

   I will hand Bobby a check for $500.  $500 Lee.  I will arrange for local media to be on-hand to see me hand Bobby the check and hear you say “… just typical high-spirited football fans having a good time.”

I’m betting my $500 that you and the rest of our little group will agree with me and my Hokie pals that you still have a very unsavory hooligan element infesting that primary parking area.  An area that visiting fans cannot avoid.  Visiting fans cannot hide safely in the reserved lots adjacent to Carter-Finley like my many WPC friends do and like the Fowlers do.

 The vast majority of NCSU fans are fine folks … educated, refined, polite solid citizens.  I am proud to call many of them my friends, but the logistics of the stadium and its location within a large metro area attracts a bottom-feeding scum element … leaving an indelible stain on your university and our city.  You have too many fine fans to let these punks get away with their crap.

 There is a time bomb still ticking on “F-Bomb Alley”.  It’s blown up once … and now it’s the Carolina Game.  Don’t count the upcoming Eastern Kentucky game.  99% of your fans won’t recognize their team colors or the school’s nickname … assuming EK even has colors and a nickname.  Comparing the EK pre-game atmosphere to what will be percolating on Sept 24 … is comparing a summer breeze to 120 mph Katrina winds.

  Yes, I did notice the police presence including the mounted patrols for VaTech.  TRIPLE that presence for Sept 24 and keep them patrolling within the lots especially from 90 minutes before kick-off and then for an hour after the game.  Not just on Trinity Road but up and down the parking rows.  And PROFILE … yes, that nasty PC word.  Jackass Hooligans will be wearing State Red and many of the shirts will have obscene slogans.  Our daughters and wives can check those out while they are being taunted and jeered at.  The average age will be 18-25 and it will be 99.9% Caucasian punks.  An hour before kick-off they will be “well oiled” from a combination of alcohol and ginned-up Tar Heel-hate.  Hooligans hate everything; but UNC coming to Carter-Finley is Christmas, New Years, and the 4th of July to that worthless ilk.

       There is an alternative to a heavy uniform security presence … for the many fine Wolfpack fans to form vigilante posses and clean up any punk crap that they see within their area. Every fan base (including UNC) has a punk faction.  Unfortunately, State’s have a very prominent stage to “perform” on. Punk Hooligans are Cowards preying on folks they figure won’t fight back.  

   Oh … as for that alcohol ban.  Our group had coolers of Coors and bottles of Wild Turkey clearly visible from 1 PM until 6:30 and no one said a word.  So did every tailgate around us.  Would you like to hire UNC’s recently-fired notorious “Officer Swain” who relished issuing dozens of citations on a Football Saturday?  Let me add that all in our party were responsible and alcohol consumption was moderated.

   You have 18 days to get ready for “The Carolina Game”.  You have ample warning that “the Trinity Road problem” has NOT been solved.  Get with the Fairgrounds people, Raleigh PD, NCHP, National Guard, the rent-a-cop services, etc.  For heaven’s sake, don’t let a bunch of whiney-assed pimply-faced punks intimidate you from doing what you know needs to be done.

SOMEBODY is responsible – It’s not George Bush 

It’s North Carolina State Univ

    A WHOLE lot of people will be seeing this letter, Lee.  I hope to see you and your family on the 24th … 60 minutes before the kickoff.  Leon has my cell #.  I’ll have my checkbook and the t-shirts.

Sincerely Yours,

BobLee Swagger

PS:  Ol’ Swaggy is planning a surprise right before kick-off on the 24th.  I’m walking out on the field dressed as a Referee with KNIGHT embroidered across the back of my shirt.  KABOOM! … bwahahaha!


 Swagger’s Stumper

(In honor of my Hokie Pals)

Who was Mr. Jefferson’s “girl friend”?  

that’s Thomas, not George

…every Hokie knows that one like 

every Heel knows Washburn’s SAT score!


    What a fine time with Hokie Jim, Cloda, Larry, Kevin, Tom, Ivan and all my new best Hokie buddies.  I wish all of BobLee’s Buddies coulda joined us Sunday.  JDan The Wuff did and fit right in.  His fire engine red Firebird did clash with the Hokie maroon but we weren’t much into “style”.  Just a fine bunch of fellows who have followed the Hokies for 25 years and leave recruiting to Frank.  They do make sport of Al Groh but not in a profane fashion.  My kinda fans FOR SURE!

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