Too Hot To Handle

January17/ 2000

  When we chose to contrast PGA Tour pros with other athletes we knew we were inching out over the ledge. Two members of’s esteemed advisory board warned us to expect “INCOMING” criticism.  Two subscribers did “opt-out” on Tuesday for reasons not given … five subscribers proclaimed it our “best column ever” … and the general consensus was a combination of “it made me think” and “finally someone calls it like it is” … which are two of our objectives here.

   Our primary objective with any commentary is always to ENTERTAIN you, our wonderful audience.  You come here of your own volition not by state/federal mandate. If an opinion, a line, or simply a phrase you read here lightens your daily step with a grin … or gives cause to notify a buddy to “check this out” … then WE WIN!  

   We ain’t taken none of you to raise. So “educating you” to go forth and make the world a better place is far down on our list.  “Straightening out the problems in sports” is certainly a noble cause but ranks on a “no-can-do” level with King Canute trying to turn back the tide. Even “straightening out UNC or NCSU and/or getting a coach or administrator changed” is far too serious and complex a matter for Mr. Swagger to set as a reasonable goal.

   “You made me think” … and “you made me laugh” will suffice as our thrice weekly atta boys.  We do like to, and will continue to, sprinkle provocative chili powder over the mix on a regular basis.

   It is a banal cliché understatement that “political correctness” has taken over America’s dialogue with itself. “Political correctness” vigilantes find conspiracy and take offense at the sun rising in the East and setting in the West.  What a delightful way to go through life … NOT!

    ANY comment about athletes and/or major college/professional sports in general will have latent racial undertones.  The majority of prominent athletes in America, both collegiate and professional, in 2004 are African American … the overwhelming majority of sports owners, coaches, and especially fans are not African American. Everyone acknowledges that there are differences among ethnic cultures. Remaining true to one’s ethnic culture is considered admirable. That is not good, bad, disturbing, or earth-shattering … it is simply a fact. The “race card” is the top card in the sports deck and will be dealt throughout most of our lifetimes..

   Was/is Kobe Bryant’s wanton, casual propensity to adultery a by-product of his ethnicity; OR is he simply another artificially canonized celebrity flashing his “I can do whatever I want to” card?  Methinks the latter.  Magic, MJ, Wade Boggs, Clinton, JFK … … … Wilt, bless his heart, never married so he was not an adulterer, simply a legendary seven-foot satyr.

   Did our column on PGA Tour pros contain false hoods?  Was our contention incorrect that the highest profile issues of sports have evolved from on-field to off-field issues? Did we unfairly emphasize positive attributes of professional golfers and cheap shot the negative attributes of athletes in other sports? … cite specific examples please.

   We have purposely designed this website so we have no eggshells to concern ourselves with cracking.  If our sponsors wish to disassociate themselves from us at any point they are free to do so … none ever have in three years.  No one “pays” to subscribe here.  You invite us in. Readers do “opt out” now and then and do occasionally tell us why.  

Guess what the #1 reason is? … it’s a tie.

  • “BobLee is too critical of UNC” … OR … 
  • “BobLee doesn’t share my extreme dislike for Dick Baddour, John Bunting, etc.”  

   So we risk rancor if we either criticize OR support UNC.  Is that a statement about this website or about the thin skinned dysfunctional nature of a faction of UNC’s  fanbase?  Let it be noted that we have NEVER received one complaint from a Wuffie, Deacon, Dookie, LSUer or any other affiliated reader … God bless ‘dem good natured boyz and girls.



Swagger’s Stumper

What did LSMFT stand for?

(not the pre-pubescent playground version)


   We have lost a few readers who are sensitive to socio-political viewpoints contrary to their own.  That is a situation we do monitor.  This website will not become an overt soapbox for our socio-political viewpoint. Maybe we will someday start a companion political site … but not here.  We are a rest stop on the Internet highway where jalapeno poppers are automatically included with any daily special you find on our menu.

    We enjoy a fast growing readership here.  We have gotten quite astute predicting what stances on what issues will run off what folks.  We have thusly managed to “cull the herd”. We are what we are … with no apologies. We trumpet loudly that we are not your average partisan fan website nor will we ever be … YUCK! … SNOOZE … BORING! …                    

   We respect opinions that differ from ours … with one exception.  …   We will always remove the rubber tips on our arrows on the issue of partisan fans’ abject broadbrush hatred for rival fans.  We are not referring to the emotions of “gameday” and the friendly jibes citing the stereotypical differences between land grant schools and liberal arts schools … or state supported institutions versus “elite” private institutions. 

   For the vast majority of emotionally well-balanced fans that is where it stops and the annual on-field/on-court “bloodlettings” are a one-day emotional catharsis followed by 364 days with a toehold grip in reality.  It’s that Lunatic Fringe that has lost their toehold grip in reality that repulses us. Every collegiate fan base in America has that virus in some %. The Internet has created leper colonies where these diseased minds can gather and feed like maggots on rotting road kill. 

   This is a form of bigotry and disgusting “racism” towards those of a different colored jersey that we wish we had the power to dissolve.  We don’t; so we ridicule it here on a regular basis so you can better recognize it when you encounter it in your social gallivanting. … It festers across this country but is especially prevalent in North Carolina with its five Division 1-A institutions and the cheek to jowl to bell tower proximity of three of them.

  • A 50 year-old UNC alumnus swears that Chuck Amato has mafia ties and will KILL anyone who blows the whistle on his rampantly illegal recruiting methods. !!!
  • UNC and State fans who truly believe Coach K “faked his back surgery” 10 years ago to avoid a bad season. “Truly believes” is well beyond “jokes about it”. !!!
  • Paranoid wuffies who cite the Jimmy V episode as proof positive of a longstanding coordinated regional (nay, a national) media conspiracy against NCSU.  !!!
  • Anyone who begins a phrase “All State/UNC/Duke/Pirate alum/fans are _____” … and inserts whatever they consider the most degrading socially bigoted, homophobic, vile adjectives. !!!
  • Dick Baddour, James Moeser, Lee Fowler, John Bunting, Mike Kryzewski, Chuck Amato etc. are evil bad people … each on a life mission to destroy all that is good and right in this world. !!!



   These actual examples have nothing to do with pride in one’s affiliate institution.  Rather they emphasize the emotional insecurities and general ignorance of the pontificators.  These moronic jackasses have rights to self expression and to modems too … SwaggerSays simply provides an opposing viewpoint.

   BobLee is in constant dialogue with other sports columnists and commentators both regionally and nationally.  To a man they say “it must be great to not be restrained by a lily-livered editor hyper sensitive to offending some bizarro micro-constituency”.  We were under such restraints at one time … we are not now … we like this better … we believe most of you folks do too.

The Milwaukee Brewers are the relocated Seattle Pilots … not the Boston Braves or the St Louis Browns or the Hoboken Zephyrs.

… “Bumped by NHL “Big Wig”…

   BobLee’s highly anticipated TV debut scheduled for last night (Wed) was “bumped” at the 11th hour by a National Hockey League “Big Wig”.  Never fear … the new date is next Monday … News14 @ 10 PM.  Ever the flexible team player, Swagger finagled a thimblefull of Stacey Horst’s bathwater and a coffee mug as compensation.

   Such irony … the NHL will soon fold like a cardboard suitcase and aforementioned “big wig” will be working the graveyard shift at a Saskatchewan TCBY … while BLS becomes The Johnny Carson of Sports TV … 

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