Pondering & Second Thoughts

January17/ 2000

… Sidney is IN, Monte is coming and Lee Fowler can put away the Groucho glasses and fake beard … UNC makes move to insure you can now actually graduate from Carolina without learning a damn thing …. BobLee learns he is NOT going blind (an INCREDIBLE story!) …. “Canes succeed on ice but not in the stands …. Latest on Nifong’s Nightmare.

    The hiring of Sidney Lowe is officially “a good thing” for NC State.  The process by which he was hired may have been a convaluted nightmare but that’s all over now and remember our rule about how we can’t retain the sense of pain.  There is no reason to think that this personnel move by NCSU cannot be a good one for all concerned.

   Did Lee Fowler plan it this way.  No.  Is Lee Fowler a good enough guy to deserve this working out OK for him.  Yes.  Now Lee is safe until late November and Chuck meets Burly John in their annual “life or death” encounter.

   Based on his public statements to date and the first round of staffing decisions, Sidney Lowe is probably off to a better start at this point than John Bunting was under very similar circumstances six years ago.  Larry Harris will maintain the connection with the current players.  Monte The Midget brings not only another nostalgia link but more college bench experience.  It will be “more than just a job” for Sidney and Toweboy … that has to factor into any “success factors”.

   You have to assume Sidney has the X and O knowledge.  If he can manage his staff effectively and if he has the public persona to go with that game experience, he should do fine.  What “type of kid” he recruits will still be the question.  No reason to think at this point that it will not be “the right type”.

   What about the Saint Paul’s College issue.  BobLee is OFFICIALLY declaring Sidney’s degree to be “a parade” snicker joke.  It has a two week joke life then the joke will be on whoever insists on beating a pathetically dead horse.  “The parade” following the Gator Bowl win six years ago WAS a funny anecdote in the UNC-NCSU rivalry … but not THAT funny.  A faction of Tar Heel numbnutz bit into “the parade” and it has stuck in their teeth like a piece of gnawed gristle ever since … besides BobLee’s line about “throw in another $25 and get degrees for Washburn and Shackleford too” is as good as it will get with “Sidney’s degree” jokes.  

   One week then no more “Sidney degree jokes”. ….. by comparison, Coach K’s back surgery had a ONE MONTH joke life.  That issue also dominates the lives of some vapid rival fans.

Is Sidney an Alum?  Yes … “graduation from” is not a criteria to be “an alumnus” … ergo, Ho #2 (The Embezzler) is an alumnae of UNC !!!!!

   Make no mistake … my loyalties lie with Ol’ Roy and Burly John, but I prefer to see them rack up victories over strong competitive rival programs.  I wish no ill will upon any program that at least tries to “do it the right way”. 

   As a lifelong Carolina fan, my understanding of “being a State fan” means that among your Five Alltime Most Vivid Sports Moments will be these Four (in no particular order) … 

DT’s return to Reynolds after his fall … 

Derek’s airball pass to Lorenzo … 

Dudley Bradley’s steal against Clyde The Glide … and 

T.A.’s TD that wasn’t. 

   In other words, A State Fan’s life is as defined by disappointments as much as by success.  The “thrills of victory” are inexorably linked to the “agonies of defeat”.  Herb could never understand that … Sidney and ToweBoy do.

   SwaggerSays welcomes Sidney Lowe and Monte Towe back to Raleigh and wishes them good fortune except when they play Carolina.  We will be watching … do or say anything incredibly stoopid and we WILL make sure everybody knows about it. 

   Both UNC and NCSU have alums as FB and BB coaches.  Odds on that ???  (Yes, we know Sidney is not technically “an alumnus’ … remember just one more week of “degree jokes”.)


    UNC has officially done away with its “swimming requirement”.  Since Hinton James dogpaddled his way across University Lake 250 years ago, every UNC graduate has had to swim 50 yards and tread water for five minutes, even Antawn Jameson.  

   If you told someone you graduated from Univ of North Carolina @ Chapel Hill they knew you at least had passed a basic swimming proficiency test … no more.  Your head might be filled with bizarro socialist crap (which can be easily flushed away in exchange for “paychecks”!) but for sure you could swim.

Now you can hang around campus for 4-6 years manuvering thru all manner of academic absurdum, 100% of which has zero “real world” application, and be given a diploma.  Score another victory for the faculty squirrels.

   No question, my most meaningful course work at UNC was the “General College” core courses including four semesters of Latin that I managed to make it thru.  It was hard but I learned stuff. Of course all that “requirement” was long ago wiped out by the diversity and supersillious police.  Sigh … sob.

   Oh well, at least UNC undergrads do learn (1) how to hold a votive candle in a “silent vigil” and (2) that “beer after whiskey is mighty risky”.


   I had my annual eye exam about a month ago.  Got my contact prescription updated and a new pair of spectacles.  My optometrist is a “Demon Deacon” but he recommends SSays to all his patients.

   Despite the eye modality update I was having increasing trouble reading small print and even my computer screen in my “inner sanctum” office.  I didn’t say anything to Mizzus or Kid fearing news of my apparent visual infirmity might upset them.  Was BobLee “going blind”?  There was no hair growing in my palm so I knew THAT wasn’t the problem!   

   What with all my worrying about Ho #1 and Ho #2 and will the world explode if the evil Barry Bonds catches “the Babe” I tried to suppress my concern about my failing vision.  I shouldered the burden alone.

   Yeah verily, Sunday morning as I dressed for my weekly visit w/ Pastor Leon and the Tucker Baptists, I was divinely inspired to check the ceiling light fixture in my den.  What was supposed to be two 60 watt bulbs had somehow been replaced by two 40 watt bulbs … that missing 40 watts of illumination was the culprit.  I was being “gaslighted”.  How Dickie Baddour switched out those bulbs, I’ll never know. 

   Don’t laugh … likely 50% of the crap you are worried about right now is as easily solved.


    Congrats to the Carolina Hurricanes for advancing in the Stanley Cup playoffs.  No, they still aren’t selling out the Canadian Bank Building.  The front office jacked up playoff ticket prices by as much as 50%.  Want to see Canes versus Islanders “in person” … it’ll costs you $85 foe a “cheap seat” … plus parking, plus concessions.  No thanks.


    On the strength of his 200 votes primary victory, Mike Nifong is strengthening his resolve to make Derm the Judicial Laughingstock of America.  He will announce the latest DNA results as soon as he can get the results he wants.  Hootchee Cootchee Ho #2 (aka “The Embezzler”)has said she will test the samples for him in exchange for an appearance on Oprah.  

   Hootchee Cootchee Ho #1 (aka “The Honor Student and Naval Hero”) saw Patrick Kennedy on TV last week and remarked he kinda looked familiar too.

   A belated Huzzah to President Dick for not letting Malik & The SWAT-booted Commandos on to his campus … also Dick’s Blue Ribbon Panel #3 has recommended reinstating Lacrosse for next season.  That won’t make Malik’s day which is good reason enough to do it.  Also … Malik’s little community activist ally, Jackie Wagstaff the Derm School Board nitwit, met defeat in the election.  Mikey Nifong’s coattails were not enough for her to ride to victory. 


 Swagger’s Stumper

 (I was going to ask … Who was NC State’s BB coach BEFORE Sidney Lowe? … but I figured no one would remember.)

 In the famous SI cover of State’s ’83 victory 

Who was the 3rd player in the picture  

Derek, Sidney and (?????) 


    State defeated GEORGIA in the NCAA semis in ’83.

   BobLee ALIVE returns to Kinston on Thursday … Kinston Rotary @ King’s at 1:00 PM.  Visitors are welcomed … tell’em you are friends of Herbie Spear and Herbie will pay for your lunch.

   Latest political scandal name … “Dusty Foggo” … sounds like a Larry McMurtry name for a Lonesome Dove cowpoke. Dusty Foggo, Fawn Hall, Scooter Libby, Charlie Tree … do they have contests in K Street bars to come up w/ these names?

   StateFansNation linked our column about Lee not “getting it” about being a State fan.  We will state again … SFN is the most intelligent partisan fan website we’ve seen.  Too bad UNC doesn’t have a similar site.  It’s all about “the idiot filter”.

Want to e-mail BobLee?

[email protected]

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