Just Another Game!

January17/ 2000

… Everybody and his pet guppy has become an expert on the subject of UNC v Duke basketball.  Barnes & Noble is building a new wing to handle the plethora of new books on the subject.  But nowhere but HERE will you find correlating references to Linus Van Pelt, Lonesome Dove, Underdog, and “24’s” President Logan….  BobLee’s opinion on Coach K takes a tumble … his opinion on Meezie stays at rock bottom … and WHO WAS THE HOTTIE with Tyler’s daddy???

BE WARNED:  BobLee is having another “Roygasm” … 

    Followers of Carolina Basketball will likely never again allow themselves to enjoy a season like this one has been.  The season certainly is not over and another net cutting in Indianapolis would not, at this point, surprise a single Tar Heel fan.  For that matter, should the Tar Heels’ season end with just one abbreviated NCAA dance next week, as Texas Ranger Gus McRae told Woodrow Call “it’s been one helluva party”.   

Before we get deep into obtuse speculation and theorizationing … WHO WAS THAT HOTTIE WITH DOCTOR HANSBROUGH?  Tyler’s Daddy is on target to replace Jeff Lebo’s Daddy as most camera-time by a player daddy.  Grant Hill’s daddy, Calvin, holds the ACC record and Coach Lebo holds the UNC record, but Doctor Hansbrough is getting an early start on catching him. 

Doctor Hansbrough is certainly the most famous orthopedic surgeon in Poplar Bluff, Missouri and likely the first such to be seen on national television simultaneously on 13 different ESPN channels.  ESPN might create the ESPN Surgeon/Daddy HD Classic U 2 Original Recipe Channel.  But enough about Doc Hansbrough … WHO WAS THE HOTTIE?

   Cameron Indoor ain’t exactly known as a Babe-Haven !!!

She wasn’t seen until the final few minutes on Saturday night.  About the time that son Tyler buried his 3 from the lobby of The Washington Duke.  Then there she was.  I was alone in a hotel room in Columbus Ohio … and as God is my witness, I thought it’s Stacy Keibler.  Maybe it was Tyler’s mom, a former Miss Missouri.  I think they are divorced but maybe they are uniting to enjoy son Tyler’s ascent into the deified rafters of The Roy’s Mentor’s Dome?  Whatever … Doc Hansbrough – You Da Man!

To the game … As Mike I Don’t Work Refs” Krzyzewski said between clenched teeth in his post-game snarl … “sometimes we make too much of these games”.  Bringing to mind that old cardplayer’s line … 

“Winners tell jokes … 

Losers say …

“sometimes we make too much of these games”.

    I’ve been THE most consistent defender of Mike Krzyzewski to hold a degree from the University of North Carolina.  OK, the ONLY defender of Mike Krzyzewski to hold a UNC degree.  I have maintained over and over that the animosity felt by Tar Heel fans towards the fellow was exaggerated due to (1) his success, and (2) his ferret-like features and ferret-like public behavior.  Let it be known … maybe I was wrong.

   MEMO TO MIKE:  I defended you on the Laker silliness … I defended you on the Amex silliness … I defended you on the business ethics silliness … hell, I even defended you on the Pete Gaudet silliness.  Coach, I’m tired of defending you, dadgummit. …… you will break YOL’s record.  You might even win a few more rings AND Olympic Gold.  But if it’s even overcast on the day of your funeral don’t plan on a large turn-out.  

Krzyzewski’s interview last week in the N&O in which he said he “does not work the refs” was pretty gaggy.  He could have handled that question in any number of credible ways … he chose a totally non-credible way.  As if to put an exclamation on his self-proclaimed piety, he proceeded to “work the refs” at perhaps the most critical juncture of Saturday’s night’s game.  Duke called a timeout with less than a minute to go and might have fashioned some Laettner-esque miracle, had Coach K said a single word to his team.  Instead, with all 296 ESPN cameras trained on him, he proceeded to “not work the ref” the entire timeout.  

I’m not sure what Mike looks like holding his grandchildren or playing “traveling salesman & the farmer’s daughter” with Mickie, but when he is “not working the refs” he is one snarly mess of meanness.  Had Mike used that time to calm down his team and warn them to keep their composure regardless of the outcome of “a game that probably didn’t mean that much” MAYBE Sean Dockery would still be remembered for his buzzer-beater against VTech instead of cheapshoting Tyler!     

As it is, a Caro-Loon Tribunal has sentenced Sean Dockery to life without parole in the basement of a Turkish Prison.  It’s the same cell occupied by the two State FBers that pilfered the Twinkie bars from the vending machine so don’t make too much of it.  Ol’ Roy was even sentenced there by Wuff-Loons when that old Jackhawk lady gave the three KU walk-ons memberships in the KU Alumni Assn.  Loon Tribunals tend towards harsh sentences … duh!

The Dockery mini-mugging of Tyler isn’t that big a deal..  Kids tend to react that way when they get their butts whipped on Senior Night in front of a larger TV audience than watched the Winter Olympics.  Had Coach Krzyzewski spent that timeout calming down his kids rather than “not jawboneing the ref” it probably would not have happened.

As it were … it simply gave Tyler and David Noel another chance to showcase to a national audience that Ol’ Roy has a quite special group of kids this year.  Quite special indeed.

Alas … “this team” will be a Haley’s Comet across the Chapel Hill sky.  Never again (never defined as 10+ years) will Carolina fans go into a season with such modest expectations.  Never again in the Ol’ Roy Era will one of his team’s NOT bear “the heavy burden of a great potential” (quote Linus Van Pelt).  Why have so many proclaimed all season that “I enjoy watching this team more than any UNC team EVER”?  Could it be because they have been “Underdogs” from the get-go?  Somebody check … what was the betting line on that Gardner-Webb game?

This was THE prototype Ol’ Roy team.  They were “his” from Day One … not Dean’s, not Gut’s, not Matt’s … these are Roy’s Boys.  Get used to it and wallow in it fellow Heel fans because we are damn lucky to have it.  He gave the fuzzy-cheeks the tough love confidence they needed and he drew out the very best from Noel and Terry and Wes Miller.  No diamond signs, no scowls, no stoopid quotes.  The “pissed off posse” and the “diamond signs” had their purpose … to make the TarHeelNation truly appreciate this dadgum huckleberry that is now firmly at the helm of HIS basketball program. 

Sure Tyler Tuff From Poplar Bluff is “special” and sure if he had blown a knee or cracked a metatarsal, UNC would not be where they are today … but he didn’t and they are.  Remember this season when Ol’ Roy does get sucker punched by the “injury fairy” in future years.  Next year “The Lovable Underdogs” will be just a memory.  UNC will be preseason #1 or #2 at worse (don’t forget Ohio State!).  Caro-Loons will wail and rant on anything less than a 25 point blowout.  The heavy burden of a great potential will hang like a cloud over Roy’s Mentor’s Dome.  Ol’ Roy knows it, BobLee knows it … and now you know it.

Savor that joy you felt Saturday night.  Recall that delightful impish grin on Bobby Frasor as he drained the two free throws at the end … and Tyler’s exhuberance as “beating Vashon in the Missouri state finals” slipped a notch in his “favorite moments”.

Yes, Coach Krzyzewski we do “make too much of a game” any game.  This weekend we focus on a totally meaningless ACC Tournament.  Traditionalists be damned, the sole purpose of this antiquated spectacle is to generate $$$ for Little Johnny Swofford’s coffers.  MEMO TO LITTLE JOHNNY:  Skip the games and just sell bottles of the “essence of sports joy” that flowed in Tar Heel Land late Saturday night.

It WAS “just a game” … and watching Kid sleeping while cuddling her CareBear is just a girl with a stuffed animal too … but life’s pleasures are what you make’em … 


    An “SUV” Went Berserk in “the Pit” at UNC on Friday …

   As the UNC campus finds itself in yet another institutional crisis, the pathetic buffoon masquerading as UNC Chancellor once again shrinks to the occasion.  This spineless jellyfish’s first concern was not to offend his radical lunatic constituency.  To Moeser’s discredit, we have learned not to expect much from him and he manages to meet the lowest expectations.

    How would each of you have felt if your son or daughter had been hit and killed by that insane jackass? … … This jackass was simply one fool brought to a boil by inciting factors I won’t go into.  He should be locked up in general population at Central Prison for about 90 days.  Dress Mohammed up in Victoria Secret’s finest and he can kiss his self-righteous angry butt good-by.

You won’t have to worry about him Chancellor Moeser.  You won’t have to worry about offending the endless gaggle of radical factions that you “ally yourself” with incessantly.  What can we expect from you next you blithering idiot? … blame the SUV? … was the exhaust manifold manufactured by a Halliburton subsidiary? … was the rental car agent a member of a male-only club? … were the injured students all heterosexual Christians and therefore likely “deserved it” … ?

Hey, Ersky … flush this spineless “empty suit”.  James Moeser actually makes the character of President Logan on “24” look like a man.

Does this incident prove that Chapel Hill is a dangerous place to live?  When innocent football fans were hit by a drunk driver following a State FB game a few years ago, an infamous Franklin Sreet Fruitcake proclaimed it was “Chuck Amato and Mary Ann Foxe’s fault” for fostering a lawless environment.  So students throwing themselves out of windows, a lunatic Wendell Williamson shooting up Henderson Street, and an insane Islamic jackass in “an SUV” say what about Chapel Hill? … not much really.


 Swagger’s Stumper

In what quadrant of Missouri is Poplar Bluff located?


   My buddy Rick Martinez came to this area 10 years ago from Arizona and had to pick a local team to pull for.  He chose Duke.  Mark Alarie had been from Arizona.  Duke seemed the ideal college BB program.  If Rick arrived today, I bet I could make him a Tar Heel fan.  …….. 

   To my Duke pals Buck, Leo, Dale et al … you boys know the above words were written with reluctance but someone REALLY should sit down with Mike before he busts a gut.  Duke might get revenge as quick as this weekend … but, regardless, Mike knows now that his kingdom will NEVER be more than a few acres in West Derm … there’s a new sheriff in the Triangle, in the state, and in Little Johnny’s ACC … dadgummit!  Ol’ Roy really is THAT GOOD!

   The term “Roygasm” was officially coined by Jon “BeoWolf” Sanders upon Ol’ Roy’s triumphant prodigal return to Chapel Hill three years ago.  It is an apt term. We like it.

Want to e-mail BobLee?

[email protected]

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