Hot Chili, Pretty Legs & A Helluva Mess

January17/ 2000

… BobLee has been traveling more than Willie Loman with a suitcase fulla samples … Ponte Vedra, Atlanta, and now Palm Springs … adventures aplenty around every turn… The Tadpole shines …. Huggy Bear finds a new home … BLS meets a Waffle House legend … “Al Borland” … John Sununu … Unchained Melody … $1,000,000 Legs … and a Gothic Nightmare of Major Proportions in West Derm that’s going to get messier.  Grab hold and hang on as we fire in full automatic mode ….

   You all know my abiding love for “The Redneck Starbucks” – WAFFLE HOUSE.  Guess what?  BobLee met “Bert”.  That’s “Bert” of “Bert’s Chili” as in “a bowl of Bert’s”.  It was Sunday night in Norcross GA.  I had flown in to Atlanta from 24 hours in Ponte Vedra and was catching a midnight snack at a WH next to my hotel.  I’m yucking in up w/ the waitress as is my custom and she mentions that this particular WH is owned by “Bert” and that “Bert” would be in the next morning at 6:30.  

This is The Bert that “invented” WH’s famous chili.  I call it “Three Exit Chili” because if you eat a bowl, it will scoot right thru your gastro-intestinal tract before you’ve made it three exits up the Interstate.  Would I miss the opportunity to meet “Bert”?  I think not.  I was back the next morning to meet the legendary gastronome. GREAT GUY!  I think he thought I was a tad strange (Duh!) but lots of laffs and checked off another “celebrity” off my list.

   By the way … my waitress flirting paid off with a complimentary WAFFLE HOUSE coffee mug for Mr. Swagger.


 Later Monday, I spent several hours with Charlie Bloodworth … yet another “legend”.  Charlie was “the Lou Bello” of the SEC … a “famous” basketball referee for many years in the 60s, 70s.  We shared lots of laffs about the lunatic fringe, Fred Barakat, John Clougherty, et al.  Charlie is in his late 70s and a liver cancer survivor.  Charlie is the chief starter for the BellSouth Classic PGA Tour event.  In chatting w/ Charlie I drew my incredible conclusion that “the Herb Thing” is not unlike Georgia Tech’s dilemma with Chan Gailley.  He can’t beat Georgia but manages to win just enough to justify staying but in an unexciting fashion.


    Biding Charlie adieu, I boarded a red-eye from Atlanta to LA/Palm Springs.  Remembering the recent horrors from “The OC” I was armed this trip.  I borrowed The Mizzus’ super doper I-Pod.  Kid was off in Beliz reading Bible stories to orphans over Spring Break so Mizzus could use Kid’s I-Pod.  Between cell phones, I-pods, memo machines, digital cameras, and laptops I was better armed than an A-Team of special ops guys going in to kidnap Castro.

It worked … the coach section of a modern airliner is still on a par with riding in the back of “a chicken truck” through The Baja but decidedly better while listening to Unchained Melody, Venus In Blue Jeans, Johnny Cash’s Greatest Hits and Roger Whitaker’s “The First Time We Said Hello Began Our Last Good-by”.  I shall load me up a fresh set of tunes before I head down to Dallas in a few weeks.   Flying in a few “commuter” jets I have a growing concern as passengers seem to be getting bigger, while planes are getting smaller … a critical mass dilemma looms.


    Celebrities all over the place out here in Rancho Mirage for the LPGA’s first major – The Kraft Nabisco but still called “The Dinah Shore” by locals.  Saw Michelle Wie for a second today, will spend more time with her on Wednesday.  Did renew acquaintances with old pals Richard Karn (“Al Borlan”), Jamie Farr, Tommy Smothers, Alice Cooper, and Cheech Marin … Good Guys one and all.  Richard says he now being called “that guy selling ladders” as much as “Al”.  I even chatted with former White House COS John Sununu … asked John if he wanted his old job back … he does not.

No offense to these guys but my lecherous old heart skipped a beat as I scanned the celeb list.  SSays readers know I am an afficianado of the feminine lower limbs … I’m A Leg Man … so who do ya think is here … none other than MARY HART.  YEE HAA!  

Well Mary of the $1,000,000 Legs was as pretty and as charming as you would imagine … there just isn’t as much of her as you would think … no taller than 5’4” at best.  I had her legs figured at at least 5’ by themselves.


    The Tar Heel Tadpole and her very fine teammates are headed to The Final Four.  For Goodness Sakes you HAVE TO WATCH her.  Congrats to Sylvia Hatchell and everyone connected to Tar Heel Womens Basketball. 


 The Gothic Nightmare over in West Derm 

    The complex socio-cultural implications of the Duke Lacrosse Mess insure this situation is going to get messier and messier and messier.  In no particular order, here are the questions to ask yourself as you form opinions on what “probably happened” and what will “probably happen, or should, happen” to those involved.

47 members of the nationally ranked Duke Mens Lacrosse team are implicated in a gang rape accusation by an African-American escort/exotic dancer/prostitute who was hired to “dance” at a Lacrosse team party on March 13.

  1. Does it matter that the accuser is Black and the accused are all White?
  2. Would your feelings about the incident be “different” if it was a Black BB team being accused by a White “escort”?  If it was a single race issue would that “matter” to you in your opinions?
  3. Does the accusor’s admitted profession as an “exotic dancer/escort/prostitute matter?
  4. The accused are “preppies” and come from well-to-do families.  Does that affect your opinion?  Should it?
  5. The accuser is a “NCCU student”, single mother of two … forced by financial necessity to earn income in “the sex trade”.
  6. If you are a Carolina or State fan, are you reveling that it is Duke that is receiving all this VERY bad national attention? … Do you think, there but for the grace of God could be a team of our student-athletes?
  7. Did the accusor simply do her job as an “exotic dancer” too well and worked those boys into a sexual frenzy creating her own dilemma? 
  8. Was your first thought … “she’s just trying to score a big payday by accusing the rich kids expecting the daddies to ante up to protect family names?”
  9. Will the boys daddies simply hire “the best defense lawyers” available and totally destroy the accusor’s “reputation” in court?  Does a prostitute even have a reputation to attack?
  10. The identities of the involved players are known to the majority of the team members.  Is the “code of silence” justified in this case of a felony accusation?
  11. Is this just an “Animal House” episode that is being exploited by the drive-by media?
  12. If “the rich white boys” beat the rap brought by the poor black prostitute will Durham face a Rodney King situation with its large black population.

Duke officials have suspended their lacrosse season at least until the DNA tests reduce the number of accused team members.  According to the police report “only” 4-5 boys were involved in the bathroom attack.

The Town and Gown relationship between Duke and Durham has been strained over the past few years as off-campus housing issues have increased with complaints about loud rowdy parties being common place.  Fifteen members of the Lacrosse team have had misdemeanor charges against them for rowdy behavior and underage drinking.

And, of course, we must play the WWMD game.  What Would Meezie Do if this had happened with a Carolina team?  Its pretty certain the Lacrosse players were NOT terrorists so Meezie would not have that to ponder.  You can bet the beleaguered Chancellor is mighty glad it’s President Broadhead on the hot seat and not him.

If you are not in the Triangle market, you can get up-to-speed on this via either the N&O website or  Keep your eye on this …..  a lot of nasty socio-cultural issues are on the table with this one.

 Let us know “WHAT YOU THINK” about this situation.


 Swagger’s Stumper

 Another “Link” question …

 The TV Series “Batman” … and “Rocky”


   Lots of reader comments about “Swampy The Real Carolina Fan” … all positive except one constipated board monkey reader who hates columns like that one.  Too bad for him because we like’em.

   The bottom feeder loonies in WuffWorld have anointed “George Mason” as their choice to replace Herb.

    Huggy Bear to K-State … a perfect place for Huggy to bring in his thugs, hoodlums and “JuCo bad boyz” to masquerade as “student-athletes”.  Bill Snyder did it in Football.  Give Huggy two years and he’ll be in the Top Three of the Big 12.

    e-mail BobLee at

[email protected]

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