… Last night as its diminutive little commissioner posed comically with his 40 elongated new millionaires, The Association bid adieu to 30+ years raiding playgrounds for adolescent dunkmeisters. Henceforth smarmy street agents and morally bankrupt AAU coaches must come up with sneaky shortcuts and backdoors to keep their flesh peddling gravy trains on track. Meanwhile the pompous preeners at the NC2A have a chance to institute some needed reforms of their own. Suuuure they will …
First off congrats to all the brand new big boy millionaires. Now they can start making payments on those Escalades and assorted pimp rides that they were given “deferred payments” on over the past several years. Same for all that fancy bling bling that that jeweler fella said “not to worry, pay me when you can”. Now they “can”. Buy Mamma that new house like they kept telling everyone they would do “first thing”.
I always thought The NBA Draft ceremony would be a primo time to revive the old Queen For A Day Show. As “her ballcap wearing baby” saunters up to meet “the diminutive commissioner”, Mamma tells her “10 kids from unknown fathers, 5 jobs, no indoor plumbing, drug and gang-infested neighborhood” story. American Idol call-in voting will determine “best woeful tale” and the lucky mamma gets a snow cone machine and a non-speaking part in the next Ashanti video.
Hey, BACK OFF … I know some of those woeful tales are totally true. How you determine if the woeful tale IS true is simple … all the stories about “our guys” are true … all that lying crap about “their guys” is, well, lying crap. I’ve always liked Sean May and still do. Thank goodness he didn’t try to score sympathy points with some story about “growing up my Daddy had to wear short pants, worked for an ill-tempered man who cussed a lot, and had to take a job where he was gone a lot in the winter …”.
I was thrilled that Rashad kept his shirt on this go-round and didn’t flash his tattoos. I figured we were in for at least one “diamond sign” but he demurred. Three years at Chapel Hill Prison and he DID learn something. Any one taking bets on the first time the newest Timberwolf says “I said that but I didn’t mean it the way everybody is taking it but it doesn’t matter because everybody always picks on me all the time anyway … wanna see my tattoos?”
Rashad McCants and Lattrell Sprewell on the same roster … the “enigmatic scowl-ometer” will go Tilt. Minneapolis sportswriters gotta be licking their chops in anxious anticipation.
I’ve been asked half a dozen times already if I think Raymond Felton being in Charlotte is too close to his Latta Posse. The last time a top point guard was drafted so close to his ‘hood was Allan Iverson going to Philly, a 4 hour Bentley ride from Tidewater Va. That proximity resulted in a dozen or so felonies and handful of drug, gun, and skanky ho possessions. No way is Raymond Felton cut from the same bolt of “bad boy” cloth as Iverson. Felton is a good kid and will do fine.
Special Swagger Stumper
Jules From Harlem is NOT the first Wuffie
to be drafted in the 1st round by George Karl
… who can name the other one?
(CLUE: It was not Reynaldo Lovisa or Dirty Dan Wells)
The Big Bobcat, “BET Bob” Johnson, is a smart cookie. He is counting on all those UNC Mecklenburgers thronging to see “their boys”. I hear Bob is talking to Jerry Richardson about Julius Peppers trying the FB & BB thing again.
No more high school kids going direct to the NBA. Will this mean an influx of new college students across America? Sure … at least 8-10 a year; not counting the same domino effect in Lithuania, Argentina, and Croatia.
The long-held hypocrisy of 90% of basketball “blue chippers” not giving a rat’s rear about “college” will ratchet up to new levels with the forced academic imprisonment of these new kids on campus. Here is where I say the NC2A has a chance to “have a clue” for once.
These new September until April 1 “8 months collegians” need special attention. Don’t even bother with the “what would you like to major in?” silliness. These guys have one interest in “college” and that is staying eligible through the 1st semester so they can play that 2nd semester and “showcase” their talents to da scouts from da league.
The NC2A and the colleges (are you listening Bill Friday?) should create a fast track program to teach these “special ed” kids the necessities of life as they will know it.
- All 26 letters of the alphabet, not just MTV, NBA and NIKE …
- how to deliver a polite throat slash …
- how to simultaneously operate a PlayStation while listening to Beyonce on an Ipod, talking to your homeboys on the cellphone, and changing to another ESPN channel on your plasma HD flatscreen.
The really fast learners can move on to load and fire a 9mm while slapping your old lady and opening the moonroof on a Hummer.
Seriously (I thought I WAS serious!) why not use their cup of coffee moment at a for real college for some practical learning. Those nutty faculty squirrels at the big state liberal arts schools can even have’em for one day to outline all the major political conspiracies and reinforce why they should hate those evil white men who are about to give them $3,000,000 for playing a very silly game.
The smart coaches at the top of the food chain like Ol’ Roy, Coach K, Izzo, Lute, Boeheim, Tubby, et al will retool and formulate recruiting strategies that will accommodate these “here today, gone next April” youngsters. They will take a chance now and then but put most of their time into the really committed youngsters who might actually intend to be at least sophomores.
I still say March Madness teams should get a 10 point at tip-off advantage in each Big Dance game for every real “senior” starting on their team. Not just on the roster like Dean’s famous Morehead Scholar geeks on the far end of the bench, but starting. Using this theory, UNC would have gotten a 20 point advantage for Jackie Manuel and Jawad Williams this year.
Yes, that is a brilliant concept but don’t bother posting it on a message board. It’s waaay too erudite for that bunch and it doesn’t mention Coach K’s back surgery, Laker offer, or Amex commercial.
The other theory that would really screw up college basketball is that each incoming freshman basketballer fills a 4-year roster spot. If he leaves early, his roster spot and scholarship cannot be used until that original 4 years expires. Bob Huggins would be playing one-on-five within a year, if he was lucky. Someone calls Dickie V down in St Pete and get his opine on that one.
BIG FREAKIN’ NEWS !!!
BobLee returns to WPTF 680AM on Monday the 4th at 3:00PM. Indeed, your favorite Yankee Doodle Dandy will be trying his patriotic best to make amigo Rick Martinez’s guest hosting a Mega Hit. Rick and Swagger will see how many FCC no-nos we can violate in 30 minutes … the over/under is 26. Is saying “gay dwarf” a no-no?
Lots of attention on our John Bunting’s Critical Game column. Yes, I did have that meeting with Deep Heel and results will be forthcoming. Thanks to James at www.tarheeltimes.com for the plug. TarHeelTimes is still the only website UNCers capable of coherent thought should bother with. Same goes for www.RedandWhitefromState.com for wuffs. “Only website” does NOT include this one OF COURSE!
Guess what ??? … SwaggerMania is sweeping the Hokie Nation. Gobblers by the 100s are flocking to bobleesays.com … Welcome! … when will Swaggs be enthralling the Blacksburg Rotarians?
BobLee ALIVE is retooling for a new season of public appearances across the Southeast. Returning to Wilson in mid-July and in negotiation with an UpState South Carolina Sports Club to bring Mr Swagger to the Palmetto State. (Almost) all new material that is sure to offend any one who takes themselves too seriously and/or The Lake Norman Carolina Club. Contact TheGuys to check availability and discuss how BobLee likes his iced tea.