The Mad Bomber & The Post Turtle

January16/ 2000

…… I watched the recent UNC v NCSU game over at some friends’ house.  Mrs Friend asked what I would write about it.  I don’t do bland summaries “who won & who scored how many”. There has to be some quirky angle” I noted.   As I was driving home, Roy Williams was beginning his post-game press conference …… proving that God provides for us Internet Legends.   He does indeed.

Thanks to the scope and speed of the Internet, more people know that Roy dropped an F-bomb Wednesday night than know who is Obbie’s vice president ….. or know the capital of Montana.  …… Joe Biden and Helena in case you were wondering.  VP Joe is the patron saint of “guys who say stoopid things into a live microphone”.   Roy did “a Biden”?   Recall Dean’s 8,000,000,000 Chinese who don’t care ?   All 8,000,000,000 of’em heard  Roy’s F-Bomb LIVE on TarHeelSportsNetwork (dubbed in Mandarin).   Who knew there WAS a Chinese word for “you know what”?

Before calling it a night I had a new BobLee Sports’ Minute podcast up – Roy Said WHAT!.  Its still there and you should listen.   That podcast thingy will come in handy with fast breaking news.  Get used to checking it.

Where does “Roy dropped an F-bomb” rank in the grand scheme of all things Tar Heel ?  It is well above “OH NO, We wore navy jerseys”.  I admit it outranks my recent “Dance Team jelly bellies”.  There was the classic “…. a large nekkid black man standing in the hallway holding a butcher knife”.   Who can ever forget that line.

Some might put “Roy drops an F-bomb” on a level with “Roy wears a Jayhawk sticker but Roy’s keen sense of timing with the sticker thingy makes it pretty special. ……. Since someone has to decide ….. I’m putting “Roy drops an F-bomb” in with “No Christmas tree in the library”.   All in favor say “Hark The Sound”.   Done deal.

The Yee Haaa Factor in this little teapot tempest is, of course, the over-the-top predictable reaction of assorted fan segments.

Thursday was the weekly “Ann Franks’ Attic” gathering of faith-based fellows in the belly of the atheistic flagship campus.  Before feasting on Chick-fil-A’s there was talk of dispatching an ad hoc committee over to The Legend’s Lair with a bar of LifeBuoy and washing out the mouth of our wayward son.  The photo op potential of that was yummy.  Someone calculated it was a little over a mile so less offended heads prevailed.  Drat!

Each of you likely falls into one of several camps on this issue.

•    He’s our Ol’ Roy.  Ain’t he a hoot
•    He’s only 12,759,067 F-Bombs behind Coach K
•    It’s OK,  we won the game.  (Suggesting that post-defeat F-bombs are another matter altogether.)
•    Roy’s pottymouthing only counts if Bonnie Bernstein is involved
•    An F-bomb PLUS a Jayhawk sticker is grounds for “doing something”.  As stand alones, they are forgivable.
•    Dean NEVER cussed.  (This is part of the “Dean was born in a manger” theory popular along Franklin Street.)
•    Roy learned that kind of language from Cocoa Puff last Summer.
•    Roy never said it.  It’s a trick by the N&O sportswriters who are all graduates of the NC State J-School ??
•    It’s Dickie fault. ……. How’s that?  EVERYTHING is “Dickie’s Fault”.

Already dejected Wolfpack partisans drew the obvious comparison (!!!) of Roy’s choice of adverbs to “one pair of tennis shoes” and called for his immediate disembowelment    Expectations of a Peter Golenbock expose on Roy was the talk of The Brickyard Thursday morning.

Should Roy have “said IT”?   Of course not, as he immediately noted.   His “Golf course” exemption raised a few eyebrows among those who’ve never played the Mountain Nine at Governors Club.  Those who have, refer to it as a “five F-bomb” experience.   Roy’s home course, Bulls Bay outside Charleston elicits F-bombs when a 6’ timber rattler with a bad attitude is curled around your Titleist. As in “Holy **** look at that F****** snake!”   I once heard Bulls’ Bay’s owner, Joe Rice, drop an F-bomb in reference to a barmaid in the Men’s Grill but that’s another story.

You know me to be a proponent of civility and decorum to fit the occasion.  I also acknowledge my fellow man’s basic tendency to bite the head off a live mic.  This is one “who has sinned” who shall not cast a stone.

As critics and defenders of The Blue Messiah process this latest toe on Roy’s clay feet, keep in mind that:   Roy Williams has never claimed to be anything but a McDowell County huckleberry who coaches basketball.  Roy doesn’t preach politics, religion or the evils of wimmen wearing toe rings.  He does NOT endorse philandering local political wannabees nor do American Express commercials on Leadership.  By his own admission he “ain’t that smart”.    

If Roy’s poor choice of adverbs knocked him off any pedestal; remember that turtle on the fence post.  Neither Ol’ Roy nor that turtle put themselves on that pedestal.  Someone else did.   ….. He’s just a McDowell County huckleberry who coaches basketball.


   The name of Peter Golenbock’s infamous book?


The Sports Minute Podcasts are more popular than we ever imagined they would be.  There won’t be a new one EVERY day but there might be.  Ya jest never know.  You can get to’em either thru BobLeeSpeaks over there on the right or that Podcast icon at the top of the Home Page.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x