Tar Heels DOMINATE!!!

January16/ 2000

… The last time UNC FB “dominated” a good team Monica Lewinsky was an unknown chubbette and The Torbush Era began (’98 Gator Bowl) …. Under a leaky October sky, 45,000 hardy Kenanites hopped back aboard The Butch Bandwagon for a trip to Boise And Beyond ….  And we speak of fans, coordinators and zebras.

It was not THE BEST game played amid the pines in a long while or even in October.  The Notre Dame game was “better” from an exciting nailbiter standpoint.  But it was the first time in a decade plus that a pretty good Carolina team thoroughly dominated another pretty good team in Boston College.  OK, a “pretty good ACC team” doesn’t exactly scare the big boy conferences but it was fun to watch.  With a .500 season assured, the Boyz in Blue are now Bound for Boise or Beyond.  If its not Atlanta or Charlotte, I’ll catch it on the 40” flat screen.

The pre-game apathy hung heavy about the storied campus.  A noon game under leaking skies against the Whozits from Boston.  Butch even cancelled the Old Well Walk which did not seem to disappoint the dozen or so loyalists gathered in Polk Place at 9:30 AM.  The emotional hangover from the latest Hoo L was apparent countered only by the annual buzz from Late Night With Ol Roy a few hours earlier.

The Transylvania-esque skies forced the military flyover to divert much to the delight of Chapel Hill infamous US military-haters.

NOTE:  Flyovers do not “cost” the Uiversity a penny.  That air time is part of the flight crews required practice time.  If they weren’t buzzing a stadium they would be scaring moo cows in a farmer’s field somewhere.  The opportunity to excite God-lovin’ Americans AND piss off the local military haters is a win-win.

The game started as ominously as the morning weather had been.  BC drove the opening kick-off deep into Tar Heel country settling for a field goal.  On their first possession Carolina fumbled inside their ten and before you could say “Damn that Dickie Baddour” it was 10-0 in favor of the visitors from Massachusetts.  It got a lot better.

That gimme inside the ten and a late game TD sandwiched around Carolina’s traditional end of the half gift TD was all the Eagles would muster.

#88 went nutz in a good way and in between putting on and taking off rain gear, the assembled Kenanites saw a for real butt whuppin’ administered by the home team.  Shore up the axles on the bandwagon.  The Good Time Charlies are jumpin’ back on.  On-off …. on-off …. on-off !!!!

As noted after the ND victory …. Carolina Ws of recent vintage have either been David & Goliath miracles or dirt clod wars between mediocre 11s.  This time BC was good and Carolina was a lot better.


Even amid the offensive fireworks, Tar Heel fans stuck to tradition in swearing that “the no-account refs are out to get us”.  In a rather obvious and embarrassing play of the “race card”, Tar Heel fans now claim long time ACC African American referee Ron Cherry is “out to get us”.  No proof exist, of course, but could Woody, Deems May and 5,000 leather-lunged loonies all be wrong?  Duh!  Until I’m shown proof of why “Ron Cherry hates UNC” I’m gonna just enjoy the games and let the loons wallow in their bile. …..

If you know someone all bent outta shape that “the refs are out to get us“, consider carefully the depth of your relationship with that person.  In times of real stress, they may not be a source of strength. 

Speaking of fireworks, yesterday’s offensive explosion created yet another intriquing stadium issue.  The normal post-score fireworks created too much smoke in a no breeze situation.  The smoke would not go away.  Uh oh!  Scoreboards, lights, firework smoke ….. a game in Not Blingy Enuff Kenan is nothing if not an adventure.

Speaking of Kenan ….. an update on the $150,000,000 Operation Bling Bling For Butch.  The recent national economic woes relative to stock portfolios, annuities, trust funds and the like is putting Operation Blue Chip Bling Bling on hold until further notice.  Unless InsideCarolina and CarolinaBlue subscribers can up their current total contribution from $2.39 and three bottle caps to somewhere more in the $125,000,000 range, blue-chippers may have to be swayed by architectural drawings for 6-7-10 years.  Heck, at that rate John Shoop will be shaving before the west end is closed in.

Speaking of coordinators …. Can there be a more persecuted position in all of sports?  Sure there can be – Athletics Directors.  ADs have a hand in hiring the “stoopid idgits up in the booth”.

I admit I don’t know the logic in running certain plays or playing certain defenses.  I only see the results.  If those results are negative (as in the much-maligned “prevent defense”) I assume that was not the coordinators intent.  He got out-coordinated by the guy in the next booth over.  The reward for out-coordinating an enemy coordinator is not nearly as vocal as fan reaction to be out-coordinated.  Players make the good plays …. Coordinators call the bad plays.  If that makes sense to you …. Congrats, you are now an adult, my son.

The minimum requirement to be a big time college coordinators is either (1) be a position coach for 10 years and watch a million hours of tape …. Or (2) be the son of the head coach.  I’m pretty sure having 87,000 posts on a message board does not count as #3.

Speaking of maligned …. I’ve been paying close attention to Kenan fans this season.  According to stacks of urban legends, “most Kenan fans” arrive late, leave early, don’t cheer at the right times, and wear navy blazers and khaki trousers.  Even such an authority as Jimma Sexton was quoted as surprised that Carolina football does not have a “Bubba fan segment”.   I beg to differ with the urban legends.

I spent most of the UConn game in The Chancellor’s Box and did indeed mingle among some folks with their sizes on-file at Julians.  Had I known prior to the day of the game that I would be among’em I’d have spiffed up a bit myownself.  Eating a lemon square while wearing Levis & sketchers just isn’t right.

But observing many many many fans all around Kenan I am NOT seeing the “typical Carolina fan of legend” anywhere.  I see 50,000 mostly regular folks …. neither overtly high-tone or overtly Neanderthal.  Just regular folks of all shapes, sizes, ages predisposed to enjoy themselves.   One more Loon Urban Legend debunked.

Having said THAT …. A Dean Dome crowd is another matter altogether.  The “lower level” of The Legend’s Lair is pretty much a Governors Club, Figure Eight, Bald Head, Myers Park Homeowners Association meeting.  Those folks and/or their daddies anted up when Skippa came aknockin back in the early 80s.  Obama’s promised “redistribution of the wealth” might change all that but until it does it is what it is.

Last Friday out at Finley Golf Course entertainment history was made.  Abbott & Costello’s famous Who’s On First was acted out by a certain Nab-luvin’ Chancellor as Lou Costello and a certain roguish Internet Legend as Bud Abbott.  The occasion was the Bob Waren Scholarship Golf Tournament.  No doubt as many will claim to have seen it as claimed they were in Carmichael when Walter Davis hit the half-courter.

   Around The BCS ….. looking like a brouhaha abuilding for Little Johnny in early December ….. somewhere among Texas, OU, Bama, Penn State and USC are the two likely BCS opponents.  Penn State has the far easier route to 12-0.  I kinda see Bama tripping up in the SECCG to either Richt or Urban.  Personally I love controversy in sports because absolutely nothing is as totally meaningless in the universe as a sports controversy.

   Speaking of Little Johnny …. his not-much ballyhooed ACCCG in Tampa is shaping up as so mediocre that “the flyover” will be by Red Skelton’s sea gulls Gertrude & Heathcliff.


 Who preceded Tom O’Brien 

as Head Coach at Boston College?

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