Our Sports’ Tipping Points

January16/ 2000

…… Last night I ordered two End Zone tickets for Texas @ Missouri on Oct 24.  They were $69.00 apiece.  Colt McCoy playing the head munchkin in Wicked ain’t worth $69.  I could see, feel and taste my sports “tipping point” from there.   Univ of Michigan football fanatics are seeing their “tipping point” these days in RichRod.  With “color & pageantry” starting anew this weekend, we look at where we’re at with sports, technology and “tipping points”.

I am typing this column while looking out at the blue Atlantic.  I’m on Bogue Banks about a nine iron from the surf.  If you hold your monitor up to your ear you can hear the surf ……. (STOP, you can’t really.  Put your monitors down!  geeezzzz)

Buddy & Babe Test:
Q:  What is the key to lots of “W”s for your team this Fall?
A:  Your 3rd team Offensive Line.   Big-uns getting banged up is a certainty.  If your team does not have 10-12 interchangeable “big-uns” capable of getting in opponents’ way, your flashy “skill people” will never get to show-off in the End Zone very much.  If you’re playing walk-ons in Nov you will not be bowling on December.

Q:  What is the single biggest “threat” to college sports’ “revenue sports”?
A:  HDTVs …… my/your big ol’ flat-screen TV is really really nice for watching college (and pro) football.  My TV, my food/bev, my bathroom, my recliner.   Alls I miss is the “being there”.  If the “being there” hassle factor hits the “not worth $___” tipping point then I’m not there.

As you long timers know, I still enjoy the on-site “color and pageantry” of a Kenan Saturday.   My GameDay routine is 91% hassle-free ….. park at Friday Center, tailgate w/ the Friends of Phineus crowd, be home within 90 minutes of 00:00.  I, personally, would not drive from Greensboro or Wilmington for that experience.  I don’t have to.   Many will and do (and much farther) ….. America still allows for such individual choices.

$50/ticket is getting close to my “worth it” point.  Hurricanes hockey passed my “worth it” years ago.  The NBA and NFL years before that.  I totally appreciate their rising costs and need for a profit.  “Affordable sports spectatoring” is NOT a Constitutional right.  Do we need a “single payer season ticket” or a “seat panel” to decide if Grandma gets a ticket?   You laugh now …… Beware!


What is your college FB regular season ticket
$$ Tipping Point?
$50   ……  $65 ……. $80


“…… the champions of the west!” up in Ann Arbor are in a snit.  They went and hired themselves a “hot-shot mercenary” who had nary a clue about Fielding Yost or whether Gerald Ford or Tennessee Ernie Ford once wore that oddly striped helmet.  RichRod ain’t nothing but a flavor of the month mercenary …… can you say BillyClyde Gillespie boys and girls.   He won quick and a lot at West Virginia with a gang of thug-aletes who couldn’t spell SAT if you spotted them the S and the A.   The WVU Library has fewer books than the average sofa-torchin’ ‘neer has teeth.

Now no one is saying all former Wolverines were doctors, lawyers, and Fortune 500 candlestick makers but at least as many U of M folks can spell “academics” as the folks at Ohio State can.  It’s all relative.  There are people with Univ of Michigan degrees who can actually read most of the latin words in their official seal.  (NOTE:  None of “them” ever played basketball under Steve Fisher however)

RichRod has been called out for “culling the herd”.  Every incoming coach “culls the herd”.  Bill Dooley did it at UNC in the late 60s as we chronicled here with the Carolina Junction Boys saga.  Colleges go after “sideline saviours” because the in-house meat on the hoof ain’t cutting it to the level they want “it” cut.  Fresh meat is needed.  Running off in-house meat is how you open spots for fresh meat.

Butch did it …… TO’B did it ….. even Coach Cut did it at The Wally.  Some “good boys” invariably get caught in the transition ….. “collateral damage”.   What the herd culling coach wants to avoid is the collaterally damaged whistle-blower who has a listening ear with the local media.  A bunch of whistles are being blown up in Ann Arbor.   Trouble in WolverineLand after “the worst season in recorded history” is especially ill-timed.

It’s enough to make RichRod cry, which RichRod followers well know doesn’t take all that much.  RichRod turns on the waterworks when the ink-stained wretches come asnooping.  RichRod’s abrupt departure from “West By-Gawd” left more destruction and ruination than William Tecumseh Sherman leaving Atlanta.  NONE of which was RichRod’s fault OF COURSE …… poor, innocent, picked-on RichRod boo hoo hooo hooo.

In the modern tradition of all slime-ball mercenary coaches, RichRod pulls the Sgt Schultz’ defense ….. “I knew Nuuu-thing.”  When caught burning copies of the NCAA Rulebook, these Madoffian used-car salesmen pull out pictures of themselves delivering Meals-On-Wheel ….. or in the case of Ricky “Insane Skank on the Table” Pitino, a picture of “me and The Pope”.   The #1 all-time best cure for “Aw crap,they caught us running off good kids to make room for our thug-aletes” is to beat the crap out of the most hated rival ASAP.   RichRod has to rely on crying and nasty Internet pictures of Ms RichRod until he plays tOSU in November.

Have you noticed I don’t hardly ever mention “board monkeys” any more?  Has anyone said “thank you BobLee”?  Noooooo.  Not a one.  I simply unbookmarked the hidey holes where those cyber-vermin gather to smell armpits and cuss “the stoopid Athletic Director”.   Like cross-eyed trees falling in the deep woods ….. if you don’t hear’em (read’em) they don’t exist.  POOF!  No more board monkeys.

Are UNC’s board monkeys still holding their annual Dave Huxtable Skin-alive & Roast Jamboree?  Several 100s Tar Heel BMs would gather at Carrboro’s Dick Cheney Memorial American Legion Hut and see who could gargle the most thumbtacks in ten minutes.  The “winner” got an autographed copy of Dickie Baddour and Frank Beamer shaking on “their verbal agreement” ten years ago.

I’m pretty sure Charles Darwin never implied intelligent life evolved from “board” monkeys.

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What nickname
did Fielding Yost’s teams have at Michigan?


   Mizzus got curious about my movie recommends so we rented O Brother last night.  She LOVED IT!  Now she knows what I mean by “I’m a Dapper Dan man” .   My favorite line is still ….. “They got themselves a midget w/ a broom.  Maybe we need us a midget with a broom …..”
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