Other than THAT, BobLee

January16/ 2000

…. “How was the play” is an old line regarding Mary Todd Lincoln attending a performance at Ford’s Theatre at which a certain Mr John W. Booth was also on hand.  I “care about” two college football teams – UNC & Missouri …. THUNK!  Saturday was a character builder for someone of my sporting preferences (duh!)   We stayed at our favorite B&B, saw Phineus Teague, met some new fine folks but otherwise the weekend sucked swampwater.

    First off …. My career as a football victory prognosticator has ended quicker and more dismally than ____ (insert career of someone who failed once at something and never tried that particular something again!).  My prediction of a streak-ender in Hoo-ville this year can only be sorta salvaged by “the streak” that did indeed end …… “the navy pants” win streak.  That one only lasted one game putting it 25 years back of The Curse Of The Shenandoah.

  Yes we were on hand as we have been for the two previous visits to Mr Jefferson’s institution.  That this trip was not the bloody massacre of 2004 nor likely to result in a mid-season coaching change as did ’06 does not dim the frustration.

  Maybe it was “my fault”.  As Carolina drove down for the FG in the final five minutes I cautioned the UNCer sitting in front of me to, under no circumstances, utter the word Keldorf.  He thanked me somewhat sarcastically for reminding him of that legendary night under The Pergola.

   You were either there this Saturday or saw it on TV or heard Woody describe his version of what took place.  Giving some credit for Brer’ Durham not totally distorting the major facts …. We lost.  I can’t imagine Woody blaming this one on “the refs” although I was not tuned in to his account.  

   Mizzus views college FB totally different from any board monkey ever hatched from a rotten egg or even from most “normal fans”.  She likes pretty uniforms, lively bands, lots of color and pageantry and, especially, the cavalier on horseback and that pre-game video thingy that UVa does with the cavalier and the rival mascot du jour.

   If you saw that pre-game Jumbo thingy …. It has The Cavalier tangling with that day’s rival mascot and dispatching him in a creative fashion.  This time he booted Rameses all the way back to CHill where he crashed into The Old Well.  I noticed most of the UNCers in Section 114 saw the good-natured humor in it.  That told me early on that few if any board monkeys had made the trip to Charlottesville.   “Good natured humor” at least for Sect 114 lasted until about 5 minutes remained in the first quarter ….. a low –grade headache started about then and lingered until the mega-migraine hit 3 and a third quarters later.

   “We” (yes, they are still “my team”) looked GREAT in that first drive.  We seemed so dominant “then” that it reminded me of that 2004 massacre when UVa could literally have named the score in the butt-whupping they laid on us.  I even envisioned a reversal of that bitter memory.  Somewhere between the first few exchanges “we” morphed from “highly athletic, aggressive, et al” into somnambulantly mediocre.

   I do not pretend to second guess coaches and/or coordinators.  I leave that to the Napoleon Dynamites and Al Bundys of “the boards”.  I do know that in the second half whenever we had a 3rd and long I correctly predicted “a quick pass to Nicks 3 yards downfield on the right sideline”.  I noticed that UVa DBs seemed to sense that too …. But John Shoop seemed confident that Nicks could shake loose and tip toe down the sidelines to end zone glory.  He never did manage to do so.

   On the matter of a picture that appeared in the dying daily N&O of a UVa  jackass fan being a jackass, every fan base has “that guy” in their basement including UNC.  Running the picture was a jackass decision by the soon to flatline N&O.   The N&O makes lots of such unwise decisions these days.

   My expertise as a DefCoor shown in the final minute when we went to that 3-man rush AGAIN that (1) came within a bobbled catch of last second disaster in Miami …. (2) got Notre Dame to our 11 a week earlier before the replay guys bailed us out.  I noted we had still not added Lawrence Taylor, Julius Peppers or Greg Ellis to our 3-man rush.  The UVa QB proceeded to pick apart our 8 man secondary pretty much like Jimmy Clausen had done for ND.  UVa got 11.1 yards farther than ND did alas.

        If that situation arises in future games lets hope either Lawrence, Julius or Greg are indeed added to our pass rush trio.  With Mr & Mrs Mentum’s son “Mo” definitely wearing blue and orange the OT was a foregone conclusion. ….. yet another dismal drive east on I-64, and south on I-95 and I-85.   Mizzus and I are both well into new Ted Bell novels so our drive time conversation had little to do with football.

   Oh …. The Mizzou situation.  Our B&B has no TVs so we scouted out a Hoo-ville sports bar Saturday AM for later viewing of Chase v Colt.  By the time we got there Mack Brown’s boys were up 21-0 and Kirk and Brent were retelling how small Colt’s home town is.  

   We munched on some sliders and a few glasses of White Zin as Mizzus grew less interested in color and pageantry and more into questioning whether or not Life was worth living.  She had not recovered from Mizzou’s upset loss to “OKLAHOMA Freakin’ STATE !!!” (that’s how Mizzus says it.)  She doesn’t “hate Mack Brown” as many do but nor is she a great admirer of the man from Cookeville TN.  She does think Colt McCoy is cute and likes that he is a Christian.  We debated whether the pretty blond sitting next to Colt’s dad was Colt’s sister, girl friend or his dad’s version of “The McCoy Hottie”.  Being in a loud sports bar we could not hear the audio.  If she was ever IDed, let me know.

   In the pantheon of predetermined at birth to be a sports hero, I nominate the name “Colt McCoy” to stand alongside Joe Montana and Tiger Woods for pure public address announcer cache.

   Ever the “glass half full” Internet Legend, I reminded Mizzus we did NOT spend $1,500 for MU v KU tickets in late Nov.  We are Thanksgivinging in Kansas City and had considered taking the assembled in-laws to Arrowhead for that one.  We’ll now spend $30 on a few of Papa John’s finest and watch from Uncle Larson’s comfy home theatre in Prairie Village KS. 

   Based on the past two weeks, one must speculate that “Coach February” might be playing in mid January …. Quite possibly in a rematch with Mr P. Carrol of the LA Carrol’s.  Meanwhile our Mizzou Tigers, assuming a massive attitude readjusting, could meet The Mackster again in the Big 12 version of The Swofford Bowl except with the Big 12 they don’t have to tarp off 20,000 seats to pretend anyone cares about the game.  Caulton Tudor had a great line about The 2008 Swofford Bowl in Tampa ….. thats its national TV audience appeal might be so low as to not register on a Neilsen meter ….. ouch!

      Butch’s Road To Boise hit a pot hole in The Valley Of The Shenandoah.  Three tough’uns await before the two bitter rival death matches in late November.  The liklihood of 8-9 Ws exist but few will bet the milk money today.  Was The Butcherization of Carolina Football prematurely considered “a done deal” by overly impatient Kenanites?  Apparently so.   UVa is not as bad now as they were when Duke spanked’em in September …. Apparently not.     Had Tyler Lorenzen been healthy for UConn and had Cam overthrown Foster by an inch vs Miami would anyone ever have dreamed the dreams of a dream season?  Probably not.  

   Is the Butch Bandwagon sitting a bit higher today from recent evacuees since 7 PM Saturday night?  You betcha.   That tends to be the knee-jerk nature of The Franklin Street Chapter of The Loonie League.   Is a Dave Huxtable / Steve Marshall-esque lynch mob forming AGAIN?


As of Week Seven ….

Who do you now predict in the BCS Super Game? 


   Danny Murtaugh managed those ’60 Pirates.  I was surprised how of you remembered the specifics of that game ….. AND share my views on baseball uniforms too.

   My favorite current UNC Chancellor made the death gurgling local newspaper this weekend.  UNC is renovating “The Chancellor’s Manse” to the tune of $1,000,000 but other than a bedroom for The Thorp youngans, the upfitting has nothing to do with any extravagant demands of Doogie or “Patti The Pistol” (aka Mrs Doog).  The manse was scheduled for renovations several years ago and is/was out-of-code in various building features.   Were it not mandated by the job description, The Thorps would happily have stayed in their own home. ….. Don’t any of you be blaming Team Doogie for this.  When the time comes to do that, I’ll let you know.

   Not as publicized AT ALL last week was a memo from Holden Thorp to all UNC faculty/staff regarding overt political campaigning using university equipment, property, services, etc.  The spittle spewing radical squirrels CANNOT DO IT saith the man in the corner office.  Yes, they can sign petitions and screech and rant on their own time but CANNOT use state property for such.   This is THE FIRST TIME EVER that a UNC Chancellor has so officially laid down this law.  It’s a semi big deal for HT to do it. …… Holden’s memo does not apply to retired hoop legends who still lurk in the neighborhood with way too much time on their hands.

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