One Man’s Search for “Truth”

January16/ 2000

….. I knew “that Morehead column” would ruffle some feathers.  View #s for that column were twice the norm.  A handful of Take Me To Task e-mails were surely but a tip to the iceberg.  The “beg to differs” were very rational and none resorted to dreaded ALLCAPS.  I send the ALLCAPS ones to Janet Napoliatano. ….. and Little Johnny plays footsie with Congressional clowns.

NOTE:  You might notice a design change to this website.  The advantage to being a Zodiac boat on the Internet sea as opposed to an aircraft carrier is that directional shifts are immediate.  Maintaining two similar websites in BLSays and BLAmerica was simply too much trouble.  I have entered the Simplify – Simplify – Simplify stage of my Life.

Unlike Johnny Swofford adding Boston College to the ACC, after asking myself three times “that was dumb.  why did I do it?” and having no answer, I am correcting my misjudgment.  Only this one website now …. a single cyber cornucopia from which might spill forth pretty much anything.

In the same vein, Hear BobLees were also a violation of the “SIMPLIFY Damn It” Rule.  Databases for the two sites have been merged and dupes hopefully deleted.  If you receive more than one e-mail donate extras to a member of our military serving in harm’s way.


Now back to that Morehead thing.   I am NOT a Morehead Scholar alumnus.  I have visited his Planetarium one or twice and his “City” as recently as last weekend, but I am not one of Uncle Mott’s boys …. But I do count a few of’em among my pals.

Prior to Miss Haley Koch introducing herself to UNC Nation with expletives not-deleted, I had had regular conversations over the years with my Morehead guys about the evolution of the renowned program.  In addition to their concerns, I also consulted with a former member of the Morehead Foundation as well as two long time UNC faculty members.  “That column” reflected the consistency of their concerns relative to the current state of the program.  Several felt I understated the corruption of the original concept.

Now its possible I found the only like-minds in dissent.  I do tend to hang out with fellow “ultra right-wing extremists”.  We chat at Target while picking out new percale bed sheets for our wardrobe.   Hint for you new right-wingers ….. avoid the fitted sheets.  Always go for the flat sheets.

I knew I would be excoriated for my blasphemy of anything UNC; especially an element as hallowed as the Morehead Program.  It’s a fact that UNCers tend to only drink upstream from their revered alma mater.  Any yucky effluent flowing downstream never touches their lips or conscious mind.

The column made the rounds among those lovable Franklin Street bohemians with my name being modified by all the usual colorful adjectives.  When it comes to colorful adjectives and disparaging synonyms, Chapel Hillians rank with the best (or worst) as the case may be.  But three “beg to differs” were from regular readers who laid out rational reasons for their differing.  One is a Morehead alumnus from the late 80s.  One is the father of a current Morehead undergrad.  One was a classmate of mine from Carolina Junction Boy days.

The latter was simply concerned that I have not maintained the level of alma mater love and loyalty that he has.  Our lives took totally different paths since we ventured forth to shuck that oyster called “Life”.   He chose to stay in the immediate area while I chased corporate rainbows hither and yon.  Mostly way yon.  From such perspectives, we both appreciated how our viewpoints might be different.  I have had 3-4 multi year rites of passage that molded me every bit as much or more than Ehringhaus #603 did.

The late ’80s Morehead is by his own admission “a yellow-dog Democrat” albeit a rare one who can be self-effacing.  That I might consider the Morehead Program “corrupted by the UNC faculty squirrels” would to him be “saved and enhanced by paragons of academic magnificence”.   It’s a “my terrorist = your freedom fighter” thing.  I’m sure his perspective and POV is shared by Doug Dibbert and his ilk …. none of whom will be asked to deliver my eulogy.   All opinions, by the way, carry every bit the implied validity that mine does.

The Morehead daddy is a Repub elected official.  There are only nine of those left in this state after the recent ACORN purge, putting him in an itty bitty category.  His daughter is apparently the Eve Carson-type and, allowing for his paternal prejudice, sounds like she is indeed cut from original Morehead cloth.  He vouches that she and her Morehead mates do not get together with Haley to assemble Molotov cocktails and burn Ol’ Glory.  I’m real partial to proud daughter-daddys (Missus married one).  I believe him.

So who to believe about the Morehead Program?  Is there an “absolute truth” to any of this?  Is there “absolute truth” PERIOD?  Everyone supplying me intel did so in a rational fashion.   Believe whatever version you want to believe, which is what everyone does any way.  It’s 2009, “Truth” is just silly putty, infinitely malleable to whatever floats your boat. 

I personally never give credibility to any one/any institution which takes his or her or itself seriously.  UNC takes itself more seriously than does The Vatican.  There are many serious issues and concerns in this crazy world.  Life’s Tragic Imponderables alone could keep one permanently curled in a fetal position in one’s hall closet.  Beware the paragons of pomposity claiming to have all the answers. Run Forrest Run from he/she/it attempting to control you by hitting CAPSLOCK to drown out opposing views.

Opposing ideologies always claim “the hated they” are close-minded.  If circumstances require you to dialogue with someone with whom you have absolutely no common core values (and such people do exist, believe me) spend that time feeding them questions rather than expounding your own dogma.

When you go your separate ways, they will like you a lot because they will think they converted you …… and you will have gathered some incredibly insane material for your own Internet column someday.

Gathering material for an Internet column is all that really matters in this world.  Why do you think I went to South Dakota last month?


Speaking of Little Johnny Swofford (aka former Morehead Scholar, UNC AD, ACC Commish and BCS Executive Defender), he was testifying to Congress on Friday about the BCS situation.  If you find that incredibly foolish, you are incredibly perceptive.  I only watched a few minutes of it before my teeth, hair and old war injury all started throbbing.  OK, I don’t have an old war injury, but if I did it would have throbbed.

A George “Kingfish” Stephens wannabee named Bobby Rush (D), fresh from a weekend sleepover with Fidel & Raoul, and a Texas Repub named Joe Barton gave credibility to every negative Texas stereotype of Big Hat – No Cattle.   All that was missing was Henry Waxman’s flaring nostrils and Joe Biden riding a unicycle.

Little Johnny confounded these flatulating nimrods with a double talk narrative about the Great American Bowl System that sounded like Michael Corleone in Godfather II describing his family’s “olive oil” business.   I swear I heard Little Johnny warn that “any tinkering with the current system will mean certain death for that little old lady from Pasadena …. go granny go”.

I gave a fleeting thought to Haley Koch delivering her fellow Morehead Swofford’s grand soliloquy.  F-bombs and pepper spray would not have been altogether inappropriate in this case.

The scene was akin to inmates in an insane asylum debating the merits of jello versus tapioca pudding ….. in pig Latin.


Who immediately preceded John Swofford
as UNC AD?


This column officially ends the “just writing about stoopid UNC stuff” period.  I’ll write about stoopid stuff beyond UNC in the coming weeks.  There’s plenty of it out there.

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