Now What ?????

January16/ 2000

Now What ???? ….. The world in the aftermath of “UNC winning a 5th NCAA Championship” ???  Had “the magical run” run afoul of Destiny’s Plan there would be no world left to even consider, but “run afoul” it did not.  As ring salesmen scurry to The Legend’s Lair to pitch their wares, we ask “what now” in the great scheme of Life.

Let do this in the style of random catch-as-catch-can Q&A.

Is Roy now among “the greatest BB coaches there’s ever been”?  
He was already in the BBHoF so depending upon the size of your “among” I’d say “sure”.

Will Roy ever get over his fawning deference to Dean?  
Dean has never gotten over his deference to Frank McGuire so probably not.  Mentor – Pupil relationships are usually carved in stone.  If Roy were still at KU this question would not be asked twice a day every day.

Since he has won with HIS recruits, are all “the monkeys” now off of Roy’s back ?  
The “with his recruits” monkey is indeed off.  New monkeys are being produced as we speak by odd little people in soiled underwear in dank basements in places like Derm, Raleigh, Lexington, Lawrence, etc.  Potential names of these new monkeys are “Coach K has three NCs” …. “Jimmy V would have 10 NCs if he had not been ambushed” …. “Roy can’t win without Swofford’s refs protecting Tyler” ….. and “Adolph Rupp didn’t have the 3 pt shot”. …… Ergo – Roy will ALWAYS have some “monkey” on his back because such is the sad state of our society.

How important was Monday night?  
To whom?  As much as I truly enjoyed it I would trade it in a heartbeat for a dozen Conservative US Senators to gridlock our government.  I don’t for see being given that either/or option so all you ACORN, union rank&file and academic anarchists can rest easy.

Should Royz Boyz have to play Gino’s Girls to determine a TRUE National Champion?
No ….. but they should have to play the Utah Utes football team and then the Japanese National baseball team.

Are all the ills of big time college sports now solved because “the good guys” won? 
NO.  The definition of “good guys” changes significantly for every mile one gets from the intersection of Franklin &Columbia Streets.

Did Roy’s use of yet another Kansas anecdote in his Tuesday Dean Dome remarks upset anyone?  
Let’s hope so.  In an ever-changing world we need a few absolutes we can always depend on.

How long will this epidemic of UNC Bandwagonitis last?   
It traditionally runs at its peak about 60 days or until Wal-Mart runs out of those really cheap caps with the mesh-plastic backs.

Should Tyler even bother to consider the NBA?
With every sports pundit convinced Tyler cannot escape The Caucasian Curse (aka The Laettner Effect), our boy has two choices …. (1) Change his name to Hansbroughovic and register as a Euro …. or (2) Have Tami admit Tyler’s “real dad” was Eddie Moss.  Eddie (an Afr-Amer) was an NFL running back in the early 70s and a Poplar Bluff resident.  With Tami & Eddie as his biolog-parents, Tyler could enter the draft with the same 50-50 ethnicity as Blake Griffin and Steph Curry.  Leave it to BobLee to find the angle.

When was ENOUGH ALREADY for ABCers regarding all the media attention for Carolina?
Pretty much when UNC beat Wilt in ’57.  Every word over the preceding 52 years has created instant acid reflux in ABCers.

What is it about ESPN’s Seth Davis that I just don’t like?
Other than his daddy is smarmy Clinton apologist Lanny Davis ….. nothing.

Which recent Detroit-area event did more to “heal America” …… UNC’s win or Jay Leno’s free concert?   
Neither had the slightest effect whatsoever.

How much does UNC’s win mean to the UNC employees being laid off due to budget cuts?
About as much as Mich State’s loss meant to unemployed auto workers …..

Is Larry Bird even doofier looking at 50 than he was at 20?  
Most definitely.   The prospect of how doofy looking he might eventually get at 60 … 70 is frightening to speculate.  Larry, bless his heart, is getting perilously close to the dreaded Cong. Henry Waxman/John Kerry Line.  Waxman is not allowed to roam the halls of Congress if school children are visiting.

Should CBS have cancelled the second half Monday night and simply droned on and on and on about “Magic vs Bird” ad infinitum?  
Not if there is a God.  CBS shoulda replaced Doofy Larry with Michael and had a Magic’s Boys vs Michael’s Boys debate.

Has Clark Kellogg made anyone forget Billy Packer?  
America has enough propensity to hate sports announcers to despise any/all equally.  Hating sports announcers is not a zero-sum game.

Can we please see that GEICO commercial with the CEO falling backwards on the lizard AT LEAST another 100 times ….. aaaarrrgh?   
It actually made me yearn for those “Free Credit” commercials with that nimrod strumming his guitar.

If Roy actively recruits John “One&Done” Wall will you still love him?
If you have no idea who John Wall is, and don’t care, then there is hope for the planet.

What was my favorite moment Monday night?   
Bobby Frasor’s snowbird lay-up and the quick shot of his dad in the stands.  It was nice to see that Gene is not the only UNC player Daddy.

Was anyone sadder about UNC’s win than Tom Izzo and Greg Anthony?
Yes, ….. Lee Fowler.  There is a rumor that at halftime Lee called his secretary and told her “just throw my personal stuff in a box and set it on the curb ….”

Are sappy, over-the-top stereotypical victory celebrations sappy, over-the-top and stereotypical?
Only when “other schools or cities” do them.  Not when we do them.

What is THE #1 improvement that the NCAA has made with March Madness?
Doing away with the stoopid sales tags on the victory ballcaps.

Should Triangle-area media devote as much fawning attention to TO’B signing a top FB recruit out of Chapel Hill yesterday as it did UNC’s victory celebration?  
That some human beings probably think so is not a good sign for the future of the planet.

Why are “all those tattoos on Big East players” a sure sign they are “a buncha thugs” …. but UNC’s are not?  
97% of UNC fans are not aware that any UNC player has ever had a tattoo.  Blue-tinted lenses have very strange powers.

With two rings, can Roy chill out now and just enjoy “working with the youngsters”?
If only it were so, but nitwits never sleep so the pressure will ratchet back up “to win again” by mid-summer.

Will CB or Jerrod ever leave UNC?  
Only if Roy retires which apparently they assume will never happen.  That is called the Dave Hanners Syndrome.

How many more new UNC Basketball books will this generate?  
The over-under is “at least eight”.  Don’t be so cynical.  Art Chansky has bills to pay too.  Each new book will come with a Surgeon General’s Warning that “reading more than three chapters at a time” can rot your teeth out.

Will this Spring’s Ram Tour be easier for Roy than last year?  
HECK YEAH!  But still lots of inane questions from well-meaning fawning fans.  Roy does realize without those well-meaning fawning fans he could not afford membership dues at Bull’s Bay Golf Club in Mt Pleasant.

Which of the following “proof that Roy is a low-down dirty bird” stories will be brought up more times in the next six months by jealous rival fans …. (1) those graduation gifts to KU seniors ….. (2) Ty Lawson’s traffic citation/gambling ?  
It’s a tie.  They are a matched set and always mentioned in tandem.   “A job for Tyler’s Mom” is a distant third.  ….. look for at least two new “have you heard” Roy Stories to simply be made up out of thin air.   Roy will still be 37 “made up lies about” behind Coach K but he’s catching up.

TRUE STORY ….. Sunday while shopping at SteinMart I encountered a buck-toothed yokel in a UNC ball cap.  I identified myself as “a Tar Heel fan too”.  He proceeded to tell me how he will NEVER (1) forgive Roy for saying no the first time …. or  (2) forgive Dean for not supporting Matt.   I wished him a Zigga Zoomba Day and quickly moved away.


How many times has UNC played Michigan State
in The Final Four?


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