…. I vowed not to watch …. So shoot me, I’m watching. BobLee’s Olympic musings range from “why hasn’t Micheal Phelps ever seen an orthodontist (???)” to “does it get any better for a pedophile than Women’s Gymnastics?” Blame my Olympiphobia on our new 40” Sony HD flat screen. And. of course, BobLee has at least one obligatory Edwards slam.
It was either ’97 or ’98 …. The 2nd or 3rd year of the Texas Motor Speedway outside Ft Worth. It was during pre-race festivities for the Winston Cup Race on Sunday. I’m standing at the Start/Finish line alongside Bruton Smith and Jerry Jones (yes, THAT one). There was some celebrity thingy going on to amuse the 150,000+ fans in the several hours prior to “Gentlemen, start your engines!”
All the usual “Aren’t you ____” from DFW were milling about ….. Troy, Chuck, Janine (Turner), Van (Clyburn), Micheal (Johnson), Lone Star J.R. (Rutherford) and assorted others. I don’t recall if Governor Dubyah was there that year or the next.
This smiling blond guy walks up to me and Bruton and Jerry ….. “Mr. Smith, I’m Bart Connor
The Gymnast and this is my wife Nadia Comaneci ….”
Bruton glares at him and turns to Jerry and me for help …. “HUH … who da %$#& is this clown?” I whisper “Olympic guy.” Bruton muttered something unintelligible but, thankfully, not obscene and Bart and Nadia wander off.
The Connors meet people every day as do Bruton (& Jerry) but there was just something so bizarre about that whole scene. Not unlike “Two Cheerleaders In A Toilet Stall” …. You find yourself giggling. “How unique was that?”
“No where else on the planet could that encounter take place today but right here.” I called Missus and Kid to relate the story.
Ten years later we’re watching the gymnastics other night, Kid proved that indeed she has retained some of the stuff I’ve loaded her up with. She said “Dad, wonder if Bart Connor The Gymnast and his wife Nadia Comaneci are there?” …. Our little family laughed together. I hope your family shares such moments.
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WARNING: Obligatory Edwards’ stuff ….. A UNC press release announced Wednesday that Apple Cheeks will NOT be returning to the cozy little tax-paid nest that Gene “Ward Churchill East” Nichol and Johnny had set up during his pre-primary sabbatical (aka The Poverty Scam). A very wise decision by the Holden Thorp-led institution.
It should be noted that Holden’s name did NOT appear in the release. A leader not infatuated by seeing his name in print shows real promise of a bright future.
There is a valuable lesson in this for the venerable Left-leaning academic organization. Wearing one’s political partisanship on one’s institutional sleeve is bad enough …. Cozying up with a clay-footed slime ball politician is quite another.
If an aging basketball coaching legend wishes to further soil his image by sucking up to a smiling 
charlatan who much cares. Likewise a high % of dingbat faculty and idealistic adolescents searching for a messiah du jour. But “the institution” is more than the sum of its goggle-eyed anarchists and pointy-headed pups.
The Gene & Johnny Poverty Scam was set up prior to either Erskine or Doogie being in the drivers seats. ….. Likewise it was not Chancellor Doogie that rushed out to sing Kumbaya with Mad Mohammed The Not A Terrorist while the wheels of his Killer SUV were still spinning in the Pit. ….. As I will no doubt say a few more times, for sheer volume of comic material, I am going to miss “The Meez”.
With the worm in Apple Cheeks now obvious to one & all, the Feds will start searching for ANY legalities in his campaign operations. Yes, you read that correctly. Johnny’s Arrogant Army of Pompous Pups were playing fast and loose with the Federal Election Handbook from the get-go. ….. This is all soooo much more than simply a dalliance with an airheaded punchboard. MUCH MUCH MORE ….. hehehehe.
Johnny’s Dallas-based “bag man”, Fred Baron, is feeling lotsa heat …. So hot that he may wrap himself in ASBESTOS which would be quite ironic I do believe. ….. Teary-eyed Desperate Housewives still cryin’ “… say it ain’t so Silky Pony…” had best find a new fantasy. Another faux Camelot crumbles.
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I did not watch The Opening Ceremony of The Whatever Number Olympiad. I was otherwise disposed saving Western Civilization. I understand that the ChiComms trotted out the entire 
Terracota Army to demonstrate to the rest of the world how many braindead humanoids they can muster. Whether it be for an Olympic ceremony, to overthrow Taiwan, or to march down Mainstreet America trampling anything in its path. (Wonder if Cocoa Puff will borrow some for his “I’m Your Bad Dream” speech in Denver?)
Speaking of Dean …. All 3,000,000,000 Chinese who didn’t care if he Beat Dook were in attendance I am told.
The Olympics are “a chick thing”. Once the pure nationalistic hatred was taken out with Reagan’s toppling of The Wall, most guys lost interest. We need “East German judges” to hate. Guys already invest most of their self-worth in football, basketball or baseball where they can, supposedly, impress gals with their insightful misinformation while gnawing on a wing or sucking on a brewski.
Every American male has played FB, BsB or BkB if only at a Rec-League level. The less one actually played, the less knowledge one actually has …. resulting in the more posts one puts on a message board. It’s called Board Monkey Math.
99% of guys are (especially) clueless about swimming or gymnastics (or uniform design or stadium construction or coaching hires or what an Athletic Director actually does ….) so it’s difficult to belch out inane comments from a Lazy-Boy, as is their custom.
Chicks, on the other hand, get weak-kneed over Aquamen in Speedos. Sicko guys and Lesbos probably get to breathing hard with the baby gymnasts flipping all around while the rest of us are just amazed that every single ChiComm baby gymnast looks exactly alike. The names of the ChiComm gals looks like an LPGA leaderboard. Is there some ChiComm rule that no name can have more than four letters? Why is that?
I used to work with a closet pedophile back in the Mary Lou Retton era. He was safe so long as the subject of girls, underwear, Barbie dolls or bicycle seats never came up. I wonder whatever happened to him ….. he probably got “involved in a satanic ritual that got out of hand”. It was in Texas. I met a lot of interesting characters while I was “in Texas”.
Lets keep watching on our HDs. As swimming and gymnastics give way to other Olympic stuff we know nothing about, we can snarf down a chicken finger and mutter “how did he/she do dat?”
And Micheal Phelps’ teeth !!! Dude, I LUV YA BUT you need a better dental role model than Marian Jones for several reasons. Little kids are watching you. Call me, I have a patriotic orthodontist that will cut you a deal.
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Fred Baron & Asbestos ???
Why is that such a clever connection ???
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A Kindle is a “book Ipod”. A book-sized mini- computer that stores 1,000 books and displays them one page at a time. It is quite cool. Holds potential as an awesome “chick and/or nerd magnet” for airports.
Upcoming BLS columns of special note – “America’s Dunkirk” and “Men, Messiahs & Ideas”. Humdingers for sure …
A number of readers are lamenting “the new road taken” by UNC Football. Yes, it IS a path that UNC prefers not to acknowledge (not unlike a certain Chapel Hill ex-politician prefers not to acknowledge some things!) but it’s “just the way it is”. Don’t get upset …. Just enjoy the “color and pageantry”. Compartmentalize “the game” and ignore “how the sausage is being made”. College Football Sausage can be quite tasty for sure.
