Is NCAA Getting Serious?

January16/ 2000

Was our old buddy Willie “Super Felon” Williams the straw that broke the bureaucratic camel’s back or was it the rampant debauchery in Boulder … or was it Rick Majerus buying a potential Ute a slice of pizza?  Any of the above (except poor Rick) and dozens and dozens of other blatant malfeasances among the “super powers” of the NCAA’s Division 1-A athletic programs could have finally tripped the “too much” switch in Indianapolis.

One of the most popular segments of BobLee ALIVE is when I ask the audience “Who cheats?”  The answer is unanimous – “They do.”  In other words, EVERY fan is convinced that every school EXCEPT HIS (of course) is breaking every rule in the book … and his primary rival is breaking every rule twice … those low down no-count scallywags.


There are Tar Heel Loonies who truly believe Chuck Amato wakes up each morning … beats his wife … abuses his children … runs every stop sign between home and office … stops at a 7-11 to rob it and pistol whip the clerk … goes to Mass to steal the collection plate … drops by Central Prison to check on his incoming recruits … and all before 9AM. … Coach K, of course, does all the above plus some REALLY bad stuff … if you see the world thru light blue lenses.

Wuff Loonies still see Dean Smith as The Anti-Christ and blame Dudley Bradley for global warming.

With whatever modicum of respect the Lunatic Fringe deserves, there is a buncha cheatin’ goin’ on just about anywhere there are fans DEMANDING wins instead of losses.  Every school sees itself as THE BEST coaching situation in America with visions of BCS and Final Four in their immediate future … and the more immediately the better.  Coaches wanting long term contracts must look for short cuts to glory.

The recent glorious mess at Boulder seemed to get a few folks’ attention especially when Gary Barnett said “We HAD to give’em girls to play with cause everyone else does it.” … DUH! … I wonder what Mack Brown, Nick Saban, Bobby Bowden, Pete Carroll, and Jim Tressell were doing when they heard that little sound bite?


No sooner had several dozens girls come forward saying they were raped by Colorado football players than Myles Brand and his NCAA boys said “That’s not a good thing.” So now Myles is proposing a “Recruits on their official visits are not allowed to rape coeds” rule. Right on Myles. We think that’s a step in the right direction.  New recruiting rules might limit visits to ever how long an 18 y/o BillyBlueChip can exist without a beer, a joint, or his hand up a cheerleader’s skirt.  Focus groups are indicating anywhere from 30 minutes to “until I’m 21 or married”.  That latter figure came from an FCA Huddle member in Pierre South Dakota and was thrown out as “Get Real“.


Before we go further … the NCAA already has “a few rules”.  “A few” as in Custer’s 7th Cavalry faced “a few” angry Sioux at The Little Big Horn.  The problem is not “rules” it is “enforcement”.


New rules on recruiting visits will simply have the current rule breakers getting creative to get around the rules.  Expect a lot of BillyBlueChips to discover long lost relatives in Knoxville, Ann Arbor, Tuscaloosa, Boulder, Baton Rouge, et al.   Visiting 3rd cousin Sophie will just happen to coincide with “the Big Game”.


Another “new rule” being proposed involves graduation rates.  Concern for academics … yawn … telling a BMOC Jock that the coeds are not there for his personal carnal pleasure is one thing … expecting him to work towards some legitimate educational goal is some serious silliness. Library … what’s a library?


The NCAA currently compiles “graduation statistics” on its member institutions.  Guess what?  The Loonies whine and wail about those statistics because (drum roll please) “they are slanted to help THEM and are unfair to US”.  The current stats allow an incoming freshman six years to get a degree.  Student-athletes leaving early for NFL and NBA bling bling count against a school’s % unless they do get a degree while test driving Escalades and buying the latest giant wall size high definition plasma TVs.


The proposed new rules would cost a school scholarships if players become academically ineligible.  That’s an easy one to beat.  No, it does not put pressure on the dumb jock … it puts mucho pressure on the instructors to give dumb jocks passing grades.  Does Professor Bow Tie want to cost The Fighting Wombats not only Larry Lame Brain but also the opportunity to recruit Larry’s cohort Mike Moron who is “graduating” from high school at a 4th grade reading level but with a 4.3 in the 40.


Guess what … BobLee has two suggestions in lieu of the above:


(1) Reward high achieving schools rather than penalize malfactors (actually do both).  For every FB or BB player who graduates in FIVE years from entering the school, the school earns an extra scholly (up to a max of ten).  Walk-ons don’t count.  This means Dean’s famous “geeky little white boys on the end of the bench with low vertical jumps but very high GPAs” would have to be on athletic scholly to be counted.  Imagine a coach having “designated good students” on his roster.


Any student-athlete NOT receiving a degree within 6 years COSTS that school a scholly.  No, he cannot enroll at some bogus community college to beat the system. Graduate from the school he entered as a Freshman – Period!


(2) Increase the NCAA’s enforcement division.  Hire 25 sharp law school grads at least 30 years old.  Smart guys who are sports nuts and find out they hate the standard law office crap.  Teach’em Serpico-type undercover techniques and turn’em loose across the country.  Basic Rule: They cannot have anything to do with their alma mater or their alma mater’s conference.  They snoop around schools with no history to their own.  NCAA Narcs.  They go to these AAU scam tournaments and find the Myron Piggies of the world.  Pay’em $50,000 and a commission on any malfactors they uncover.


We shall watch what happens with these proposed “get tough” policies.  We applaud the NCAA for even suggesting them.  We doubt that Bobby Bowden or the rest of the “good ol boys” are too worried yet.  Enough “dead presidents” can still buy most deflowered coeds and most History of The Frisbee instructors.

Sky King, with niece Penny and nephew Clipper, fought bad guys with “The Songbird” … “out of the clear blue of the western sky” …


Today’s Stumper


Whose job was playing Dr. Drake Remore?

WARNING: Not a codger-era stumper!


This new website successfully reached 200% of the readers that were serviced by our previous e-mail service … Yee Haa!  BobLee and TheGuys are doing backflips over the new website.  Lots of positive comments from many of you.  As soon as we master all the bells and whistles we are going to kick some serious butt around here.


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