Guitar Heroes- MopUp Squads- Dickie Extensions (!)

January16/ 2000

…. Latest Final Four TV commercial has Tar Heel Nation bumfuzzled.  BobLee ruminates why Roy’s Mop Up Squad is like a Gallagher concert ….. The latest Dickie Extension has nothing to do with “that certain part of the male anatomy“. ….. and BobLee advises Norwood on his next VCU BB coach.

He is a diminutive 64 year old career bureaucrat from Goldsboro ….. and a retired National Guard officer but no one will ever mistake him for Rambo.  He has demonstrated double gold watch loyalty to his employer of over 35 years.  He is “that guy three houses over” who, while you can’t recall his name, does not evoke concerns he might be a serial killer, so ….. Why is Richard “Dickie” Baddour the subject of more myths and legends than Sasquatch, Nessie and D.B. Cooper combined.  An entire generation of Tar Heel fans have grown up convinced his first name is “that Damn …..”.  Tough crowd.

Dickie Baddour’s contract as UNC’s Director of Athletics was extended three more years last week. ….. and BobLee goes on the record that any hand-wringing, teeth-grinding concerns over this administrative decision are silly, absurd, baseless and indicative of way too much time on the hands of hard-core Dickie-haters.

(It should be noted that an e-mail dialogue I had with an inner circle confidant on this subject titled “The Dickie Extension” caused Mizzus to giggle uncontrollably for almost two minutes.)

 Extending Dick Baddour’s AD contract IS the right thing to do.  Beyond the well-beaten dead horses of five+ years ago, how could any rational Tar Heel loyalist complain about UNC Athletics in 2009.  The three major sports FB, BkB, BsB plus WoBB and WoSocc are doing way more than just fine.  Other programs are among the region’s finest.  Facilities are in fine order with the New Bosh and New Carmichael.  The Butchering Of Kenan is an economic issue beyond the influence of even a Ron Wellman-level administrative diety. ….. There are no percolating scandals on UNC’s sports horizon.  UNC Athletics is solid and among the top five in the nation of its size.

Yes, Baddour has his detractors both within the University and within his department.  So …. what administrator doesn’t have detractors?  Running a $30,000,000 operation is neither a popularity contest nor within the intellectual scope of leather-lunged loons wearing UNC gear from Wal-Mart.

Circa 2009, any recent controversy surrounding Dickie Baddour was spawned on the Internet by its virus of goggle-eyed wombats.  NOTHING Baddour can/will ever do will improve his popularity with that cyber mob.  If they weren’t hating Dickie, they would be hating somebody else.   It might as well be Dickie.  He’s used to it after 10 years.

UNC has its most competent upper administrative officials in many many years.   Should storm clouds gather, as they are prone to do, Chancellor Thorp and Prez Bowles will advise and support their AD.  Dick Baddour is UNC’s AD for three more years ….. that’s OK.

NOTE:  Granted …. simply changing his name from “Dickie” to “Dick” would probably help a lot.


Speaking of ADs …..  If I was VCU AD Norwood Teague I would be inquiring regarding the career aspirations of Jerod Haase, C.B. McGrath, Chris Collins and even “Wojo”.   If these UNC and Duke assistants are looking long term, their current occupational circumstances are not permanent.  Their Hall Of Fame mentors ain’t gonna be around forever ….. maybe 5-6 years more in either case.  All four have pedigrees and are “of age” for their first head job, if they ever expect to have one.

The VCU job is a great stepping stone for a young coach …. as it has been for Jeff Capel and Anthony Grant.   For Haase or McGrath, Phineus Teague would cover their “6” as a fellow former UNCer.  Even for Collins or Wojo, Bre’r Teague is as straight-shooting an AD as they could ever work for.

Have I told Norwood? ….. Duh, I just did. 

OK …. There’s also Phil Ford, Buzz Peterson and Steve Robinson.  Lets stick to the young guys with no baggage.


UVa has hired Tony Bennett as its latest BB coach.  Nothing I might say on that subject can compare to Hokie Jim on The A-line.   I yield to the cyber Master of Hooism.


A recent UNC fan tradition has been the mass condemnation of Coach K’s annual March Madness TV commercial.   Whether for Chevrolet or American Express, the TarHeelNation rises as one to demand that Rosemary’s Other Baby be drawn, quartered and disemboweled because “_______” .  No one exactly sure what’s wrong with it except that HE was doing it.  DUH!

Now Tar Heel K-haters are more bumfuzzled than usual.  If you haven’t seen the latest Guitar Hero commercial yet you will see it a bunch over the next 10 days.  Yes, the Feral Satan is in it ….. along with Slick Rick and General Robert Montgomery Knight …. AND a certain goofy Huckleberry wearing a pink shirt, boxer shorts and white socks.

The Blue Messiah AND Cameron’s #1 Crazy TOGETHER in a commercial spoof of Risky Business’ classic scene.   Could there be a surer sign that The Apocalypse is Nigh?


Roy’s Mop-Up Squad ….. there were two minutes left in the Gonzaga game last week.  UNC had 96 points and Roy put in the Mop Up Squad.  Missus asked me “will Carolina get 100?”  I replied “100 ??? If we get 98, I’ll be surprised.”  We got 98.

The irony of this is that Roy’s Mop Up Squad (aka the last five guys on the far end of the bench) could win the UNC Intramural championship hands down.  They are arguably the 3rd best basketball five enrolled at UNC.  Each one of those Richie, Potzie and Ralph Malphs was a BMOC jock in high school.

Why then, when they get their two minutes of glory do they invariably perform like drunk monkeys on roller skates? If they are not bouncing the ball off their own foot or knee they are hitting each other in the face with passes only Soupy Sales would love.  They shoot air ball free throws and are forever running into immovable objects.  They make the Globetrotters’ Washington Generals look like the Lakers.

Historically, the Tar Heel Mop Up Squad has two purposes ….. (1) provide practice fodder opposition for the “marquee playas” and (2) boost the overall team GPA.  By UNC BB Law, at least two Mop Up Squaders are Morehead Scholars with legitimate academic majors where they are required to open books and visit The Library.

I totally understand the “honor of wearing the UNC jersey” etc etc.  And, again, these kids could whup any five other undergrads hands down.  But their appearance at the end of the game is like a Gallagher concert ….. everyone in the first five rows should cover themselves with a tarp ….. and look out for errant balls and out-of-control skinny white boys.   …… Bless their hearts.

BobLee BobLee BobLee ….. How could you poke fun at those fine young men?  Hey, I’m the guy that called out “the Dance Team jelly bellies”.  Once you juggle that hand grenade you can handle anything.


Who is, arguably,
the most famous UNC Mop Up Squader of All Time?


Yes, I have read Gene Hansbrough’s letter to The Tar Heel Nation.  Despite a seemingly over-abundance of arrogant nitwits on occasion, the vast abundance of Tar Heel fans are quite fine and respectable folks (as are most Wuffs. Deacs, Devils, Pirates et al).  To my fellow non-nitwit Tar Heels – Read Doc Hansbrough’s Letter.  If you haven’t seen it, let me know and I’ll e-mail you a copy.

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