Color Blind Love

January16/ 2000

 You know how bored I get with all the energy wasted on this Wuff-Heel 24/7 HateFest.  I saw real reason to hope for better days this past Saturday … witnessing the ultimate in non-partisan fellowship … and it was mighty fine, let me tell you.  Plus we found even MORE great kids in this world than just Philip, Shane and Tim.


   I realize most of us don’t know anything about a group of folks called “Tucker Baptists”.  This bunch of religious zealots aren’t into handling snakes, eating clay or such silliness … just in trying to be the best citizens, parents, and children they can be; and succeeding pretty darn well. 

   “Tucker Baptists” are the Special Ops storm troopers for General David Horner’s Army of Christian Soldiers at Providence Baptist Church in West Rolly.  Fearless Leader, “Leaking Leon” Tucker called a meeting on Saturday afternoon.  The Swaggers were among many answering the call and  were on hand for every wonderful moment.

   With my own soulfully deep blue eyes I witnessed … 

  • A fine young man recently graduated from North Carolina State University
  • Marry a fine young lady graduating from The University of North Carolina
  • In a beautiful chapel on the former campus of Wake Forest College
  • And the reception was held in Durham!

   This was non-partisan overload! It was a fine occasion.

   Among the assembled celebrants were the Lee Fowlers, the Johnny Evans, the Swagger Trio and several 100s others of varying school allegiances. The organist did not play The Caisson Song or Hark The Sound.  The two sides of the chapel did not compete with “Wolf – Pack” or “Tar – Heel” chants. The beautiful bride’s beautiful dress did have light blue accents but I’m pretty sure no offense was intended or taken by anyone.

   “Tucker Baptists” take their name from their aforementioned fearless leader, the irrepressible Rev Leon Tucker … former Hart Schaffner & Marx Dress For Success wardrobe consultant turned folk guitarist and enthusiastic deliver of The Word to those that have a minimum of 45 minutes to spare.  A couple of details you need to know about Ol’ Leon …

  1. The old boy leaks quicker than a cardboard rowboat. If we experience another drought … we got the cure.  Stick Leon in the middle of Jordan Lake and show him pictures of baby bunny rabbits and rainbows … inside of five minutes half of Cary will be underwater (not a bad idea some would say)
  2. Oh … and that fine young State man taking a Carolina bride … he is a “PK” and Leon is the specific “P” that begat the “K” with notable help from Mamma Renee. I hesitate to call rosy-cheeked Kyle “cute”; but he does make Bob Costas look like a constipated troll.    
  3. Daddy Leon with the hair trigger eye faucets decided he could “officiate” the nuptials.  Vegas oddsmakers had it even money that before he got through the first “Do you take …” the first seven rows of pews would be under severe flashflood watch.  I’ll be darned if he didn’t make it clear through dry-eyed. There was the part where he was doing that Corinthians bit about “Love is …” and he got tongue-tied between proud and pride and it came out “prude” but folks were so amazed he got that far that he almost got a “standing O”. 

   The Kyles and Sarahs of the world tend to have friends who complement them … and they sure did.  How attractive was “the wedding party”?  There was a recent Miss Kinston among’em and it was not obvious which one she was!

   The day was “perfect” beautiful blue skies, azaleas and dogwoods of Augusta National quality.  No one was the least bit surprised.  This was Miss Sarah’s Wedding Day … what did anyone expect?

    The service was wonderful … yadda yadda … but maybe the best was yet to come … we all moved over to Durham for the reception … PARTY TIME! … a bunch of Carolina and State kids … LOOK OUT!

   At this point it probably won’t surprise you to hear … this was a “dry party” … unless you count “ginger ale” as a libation.   So we have a room full of State and Carolina students, tons of high school kids, and several hundred God-fearin’ American middle class, cul-de-sac dwelling, SUV driving, economy stimulators all high on life … and a DJ spinning “beach music”.  It did not “take a village” to raise these kids … unless you define “village” as “mommas and daddies who care a whole lot and rely on The Good Book for a roadmap”.

  Today’s kids can not have fun without being drunk, high, and horizontal … Right? … WRONG!  The music and the dancing and the smiling good times were non-stop for 3+ hours.  They were having so much fun I informed The Mizzus that it’s time she and I signed up for shag lessons with Carlton down in Clayton.  I figure my TopSiders can pass for Weejuns until I get the hang of it.


   You got the picture.  Kid Swagger, who, granted, tends to the superlative when describing most anything … declared it THE BEST Wedding she has ever attended.  That list only includes 3; but Mizzus and I concurred that it was high up there on our list too and we have been to gazillions of them.  I just wished you all coulda been there … every Wuffie, Heel, Devil, Deacon, Pirate one of’ya.


   Backwash from our recent column on outstanding student athletes who combine outstanding athletics, academics, and character within a four year period. … lots of appreciative comments from so many of you including numerous former student-athletes among our regulars. 

  Yes … we did receive one quite remarkable lump of coal from our old buddy Fruitcake Freddie From Franklin Street. Freddie unleashed a venomous mega-rant rebuttal that was “classic” even for him. Freddie has developed broad base group hatred to an art form.  Wuffies, Devils, Deacons, Republicans, Starbucks, Italian guys named Chuck or Polish guys named Mike, etc. … Freddie hates’em one and all and doesn’t hesitate to tell any one and every one.  

  One Duke reader stumbled on Freddie’s tirade remarking … “NOW I see what you mean about “the lunatic fringe”. Is this guy for real?”  The jury’s is still out on Freddie’s realness. A State chum also checked out Freddie’s comments and declared his manifesto as THE most twisted partisan bizarro BS he had ever read. That’s our boy Freddie.

“BroadSword To Danny Boy” was the radio code in “Where Eagles Dare” … best spoken in Richard Burton’s thick Welsh accent.

Today’s Stumper

The Lone Ranger rode Silver … Roy Rogers rode Trigger

Who rode “Traveler”?


Wed – May 12 – Lake Norman Carolina Club

BobLee & Mick “The Stick” Mixson on stage together!

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