Buffalo Sex & The Future of College Sports

January16/ 2000

The “official investigation” of the University of Colorado sports & sex scandal is over and the findings are pretty incredible.  They determined that: Rape is probably a bad thing … but Big Time College Football is a Very Good Thing.  All the alleged “perps” were cleared … the Head Coach, the AD, the University President.  Across Division 1-A sanctimonious fingers are wagging toward Boulder but come September Ralphie The Buffalo will run out onto the field and it’ll be business as usual.  What are the lessons learned … or unlearned?

   Were some of the plaintiff coeds that cried “rape” actually forced to engage in sexual intercourse with football players against their will … probably.  All of them … probably not.  Is this specific to the University of Colorado … NO.  Are “date rapes” and out-of-control parties an integral part of college life today and for many yesterdays in the past … Yes.  Does that make it right … No.

   Would the firings of Coach Gary Barnett or AD Dick Tharp “clean up” Colorado football? … Nope.  Is there something unique about Colorado football that created this atmosphere? … Nope.  Does “whatever happened” in Boulder happen all across America (including around the ACC)? … Yep! Have high school athletes making visits to NC State, UNC, Duke, and even Wake Forest had “sexual experiences” during their visits? … Absolutely. Will they in the future? … Yep.

   Did Gary Barnett encourage and condone what was happening or did he adopt a “I won’t ask … Don’t tell me” approach? … No and probably Yes.  Were “our coaches” using similar “situational deniability” to hopefully show prospects “a good time” and get a commitment? … Probably.

   Whether you are a State fan or a Carolina fan or a Pirate fan, etc … before this scandal broke … do you REALLY think your school’s coaches told their host players … “show Billy BlueChip a good time; But do not get the kid laid!” … PUHLEEZE!  Has every Div 1-A school trying to field competitive teams now come out with sanctimonious statements about “we are only recruiting Eagle Scouts who have sworn to celibacy for four years”? … Yep, pretty much every one has said that. 

   Now … when “your school” issued that sanctimonious declaration you nodded your head and praised your coaches and administrators for such a noble “in loco parentis” attitude.  BUT, when your rival issued THEIR equally sanctimonious declaration you rolled your eyes and recounted some ancient campus legend that PROVES what debauched scallywags they are “over there” … and always have been. Heck, what’s going on inside your hated rival’s football program would probably put Colorado to shame … if indeed it were possible to “shame” Colorado about anything.



Swagger’s Stumper

Who are The Rice Krispy Guys?


   What % of top high school athletes are “virgins”?  I’ve never seen that data; but general data on teenage sex would indicate that “virgin Blue Chippers” are rarer than white running backs with 4.4 40 speed and straight-on kickers. I am equally sure there are some … A.C. Green played in the NBA for 10+ years and remained celibate.

   What really IS the issue?  Putting high school athletes in uncomfortably compromising positions on campus visits … ??  Forcing unwilling coeds to prostitute themselves to help “close” recruits … ?? Highly pampered college athletes being put on pedestals and convinced they are masters of all they survey … ?? The “hero worship” accompanying college athletes translating to easy availability of promiscuous coeds … ?? Overly enthusiastic alumni/fans willing to do whatever it takes to make their team “successful” … ??  Coaches, Administrators, and University officials realizing that “winning Football” matters a great deal and it takes highly skilled players to “win” at the highest levels.  … All of the above.

   Every Division 1-A college in America has had its campus “punchboards” since the leather helmet days.  At Missouri in the early 70s her name was “Candy” and her first floor dorm room was known as “CandyLand”.  More “student athletes” crawled through her dorm room window than ever walked thru the front door of the Library.  “Candy” is in her 50s now and probably selling residential real estate in Bonne Terre … that’s if “the syph” didn’t finally kill her.

    I know the men who oversee Carolina’s Football program as relates to both recruiting and overall student athlete daily behavior.  Rick Steinbacher and Cory Holliday are first class gentlemen.  I do not believe either man would knowingly condone rampant debauchery within the Carolina Football Program.  I do not know their counterparts at NC State but I know Lee Fowler well enough to know he would not condone “Colorado conduct”.  Do these character references mean either/both schools are paragons of virtue … Nope!

    The tentacles of corruption in college athletics are many and malevolent.  Carolina, State, Duke, Wake, ECU, UVa, et al are no more immune from a “Colorado sex scandal” than they are from an outbreak of West Nile Virus. As you pick up your morning paper in the driveway, say a little prayer that your school dodged the bullet one more day.

Gopher was “the purser” … Apparently “purser” on a cruise ship is responsible for holding up the bar and oogling the girls by the pool. 

BobLee has polished up his speech to the 

Raleigh Kiwanis Club 

Highland United Methodist Church 

12:30 on Friday. 

Batten down the hatches and loosen your belts … Swagger has loaded both barrels with 00 Buckshot.  Call Harold Panel  (833-3254)  to reserve Standing Room in the back of the room.

We received a nice note from a UVa fan.  He thinks UVa “needs a BobLee” to point out their pompous arrogance.  I told him a number of pompously arrogant Carolina fans would be quite glad for BobLee to move on to Charlottesville.  Ahhhh, but so much work left to do in teaching  “humility” to my Tar Heel miscreants …

The latest Clive Cussler adventure novel – Trojan Odyssey – is a special one for Dirk Pitt fans. The last three pages give you goose bumps if you are familar with Dirk Pitt and his NUMA pals … if you are not then your life is simply incomplete.

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