An ERWF Reflects on Camelot

January16/ 2000

….  I’ve been dreading today (aka “The Day Ted Kennedy Died”) for several years.  When Jesse Helms died the vermin from the local Liberal landfill went nuclear toxic on the Internet comment boards.  I hoped “our side” would not follow suit today.  More than a few “did” however.  ….. sigh, sob, sniff. The Kennedy Camelot Saga parallels the BobLee Saga in America.  Where were you when ……….?

 (NOTE: ERWF = Extreme Right-Wing Fanatic.  If you call yourself that from the get-go it confuses the Libs’ well-rehearsed insult barrage.  They have to skip right to “racist nazi homophobe” and it throws off their rhythm.)

Ms McClees’ Chemistry class ….. 11th grade ….. Grainger High School.   The intercom crackles and pops …. “President John Kennedy has been shot in Dallas Tx.”  It was NOT Uncle Wally Cronkite but Principal Frank L. Mock who first told me.

My first thought (TRUE STORY) was “This is NOT good for Vaughn Meader.”  I wasn’t an Extreme Right-Wing Fanatic in 1963 but already a bit cynical on politics.  Meader had a very successful First Family parody album selling like hot cakes.  The hot cakes stopped selling on November 22, 1963.  Meader never resurfaced and his death was a trivia question. …… “…and the uh rubber ducky is ahhh mine.” 

I “think” school let out early.  I’m not sure why.  There was no “what to do if the president gets killed” plan at our school.  Like “Stop – Drop & Roll” or “crawl under your desk so the Atom bomb won’t hit you”!

I watched most of the high drama of that fateful weekend including Jack Ruby shooting LHO in the basement of Dallas County Court House.  I recall John-John’s little salute and the boots in the stirrups of the horse and the caisson carrying the body.

Jackie was the first pretty President’s wife I had ever seen.  No offense meant to Mamie Eisenhower or Bess Truman.  I wasn’t all that into carnal evaluations of adult women and/or lustful thoughts.  I just thought she was “pretty”.  She had a very weird voice though.

Twenty years later I moved to Dallas.  A buddy had a tour company and I would help him.  I did a “…. the motorcade enters Dealey Plaza …..” narrative that blew people away.  As the tour bus followed the motorcade’s route I would synch my comments to where we where.   “Coming up on our right is the Texas School Book Depository ….. 5th floor ….. third window from the right. ….”.  Then the tour bus would speed to Parkland Hospital.

There was a motel across the street from Dealey Plaza where Raquel Welch once worked as a cocktail waitress.  If anyone else ever tells you that, they took BobLee’s tour in 1981.

I have no idea where I was when Brother Bobby was shot by Sirhan Sirhan in the Ambassador Hotel in LA.  I just remember Rosie Grier was there.  If Sirhan Sirhan had a Facebook account would it be under Sirhan or Sirhan?

I’m not sure how I feel about JFK and Bobby and Marilyn Monroe.  She was pretty too ….. and never got old and not pretty.  There’s something to say for that.

No idea where I was when Teddy and Mary Jo did their Chappaquidick thing.  Again, I remember thinking she was pretty too.  We visited Chappaquidick and took a picture.  We’re probably the only folks who’ve ever done that !!!

I was not brought up in a “hate the Kennedys home”.  Back in those days we had not learned you were suppose to hate people who were (R) or (D) if you were the other.  We learned that later on.  I remember some concerns about “the Pope running America”.  I had taken lots of Latin in high school so I was ready if the Pope did take over.  He never did.   Would everyone in America have had to eat fish on Friday?   That woulda been good for Mrs Paul I think.

Back in my growing up days we only did silly political stuff on election days.  Wear a silly straw hat and sing little campaign ditties ….. “Put on your Bonner Bonnet with the blue ribbon on it ….”  The next day all the grown up men went to Rotary and sang more silly songs and Pledged their Allegiance.   Maybe we need more straw hats and silly ditties today.  Ya think? ….. its harder to really hate someone if you’ve sang “Row row your boat” with him.

As I developed my eeeevil capitalist mind set I grew to not like Teddy Kennedy a lot.  I’m not sure where “dislike a lot” morphs into “hate the SOB”.  I’m not sure I ever got that far.  Everything about the man ran contrary to people I like, respect and want to be around.  Now I never got drunk with him or made a waitress sandwich or any of the assorted debaucherys for which he was so admired by his constituents.  Since I am not much for drunken debauchery I doubt that would have improved my feelings towards Teddy.

When Ol’ Teddy really lost me was on 9/14 three days after 9/11.  Fat, sloppy, blubbery sotted ol’ Ted blamed George Bush for the tragedy.  I thought about that today.  It helped me deal with his loss.

How many different ways to spell Chappaquiddick or Kopechne.  So far I’ve counter 163.  But it’s just been 24 hours.

He seemed to bellow and fume and bluster and lie a lot.  Not qualities I admire in folks.  There are currently half a dozen other Lib/Dem celebrities I dislike as much/more than Teddy Kennedy.  Now that’s he’s passed on he won’t count at all among my “Lib/Dems I can’t stand to look at on TV” list.   The really really goofy ones I kinda like because they say incredibly stoopid stuff pretty much all the time.

With Jackie and Mary Jo and Marilyn all dead, there really aren’t any high profile Democratic women that I think are pretty.  Not that that’s important.  Just saying …..

There are some good Repubs.  There are some good Democs.  There are NO good cancers.

Some people think JFK is on one of Onassis’ private islands in a vegetative state.  Some people think we faked the moon landing.  Some people believed in WMDs in the desert.  Some people think Obama never knew much about Jeremiah Wright or Bill Ayers.  Some people …….. ?


Our favorite local dying newspaper has been busy lately …… trashing UNC-Chapel Hill on a daily basis for a laundry list of contrived offenses.   I think they finally felt guilty about giving Jimmy V cancer 20 years ago over ONE PAIR OF TENNIS SHOES.

Holden is holding up well under the silly but relentless attacks.  I’ve offered to do my Buford Pusser thing with the N&O fops.  I think the popular young Chancellor wants to try diplomacy first ….. or maybe sugar in a few gas tanks.  I’ll keep you updated.


What Rat Pack Member was
in the Kennedy Clan?


0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x