A Whole Lot of Sports News

January16/ 2000

….  There is a whole bunch of little niggly sports news that deserves its 15 seconds of mention here.  So lets do that.  This will be rapid fire commentary assuming you know the basic story lines.   If you are clueless about one or more items just Goggle the main character.   Buckle up and here we go ….

Joe Torre’s Book …… WHY JOE WHY?   In one fell swoop Joe goes from classy guy who showed us all how to make do in a roomful of crazies  …… now Joe shows he’s not much better.   Don’t even think about buying the book.  The 4-5 juicy quotes and anecdotes will be beat to death on talk shows and monkey boards.

Mr Jefferson’s Woes ….. It’s rough being a Wahoo these days if one relies upon sports glory to measure one’s academic loyalty.  Missus loves C-ville and that whole “Mr Jefferson thingy”.  She doesn’t know or care about AlGroh, Craig Littlepage or Dave Whozit the BB coach.   Good thing!  Even when AlGroh manages to eke out a W or two, he is harder to like than Thai food. ….. and in BB,  the program is so far below mediocre it can’t see it on a clear day.  Terry Holland’s dog “Dean” would really be crying these days.

Beckham to Milan …. Beck & Spice Girl are leaving American soccer to return to Europe ….. Oh Me Oh My!   Somewhere on a distant planet in a faraway universe a baby is born who will be called “the anointed one who WILL save American soccer ….”.  American soccer has had more faux-“saviours” than Imelda Marcos had shoes.

“Eventual Head Coach” ….. Major college sports program are worse than teenagers when it comes to trends de jour.  Better not let “your school” be the last one to name their “Eventual Next Head Coach”.  Add Maryland to the list with Florida State and Texas and probably 4-5 others no one much cares about.   Whats next ….. “eventual next head cheerleader” ….. “eventual next PA announcer”….. “eventual next Voice of sidekick” ?

Signing Day …… When is it?  Someone said it was this past week but I never felt the earth move or saw the heavens explode in glory.   All the hoopla chasing BCS glory.  Quick – name the final Top Five teams in the BCS poll, in order.   Florida, Utah ……… Like a dogsled, unless you’re the lead dog, the view is pretty much the same for all the rest.  Hopefully Butch has “finally beat TO’B” somewhere on his to-do list.

Steeler Dynasty …… I’ve always been a Steeler fan, as much as I have any NFL loyalty.  I liked the Steel Curtain group and I always liked Bill Cowher.  The new coach seems pretty bright.  Owner Dan Rooney is getting quite Jimma Carta in his nitwittyness.  Arguments over “dynasties” and “best ever” are best left to loonies and self-important sportswriters with deadlines to meet.

A-Rod & Steroids …… America is not fueled by oil or dollars.  America is fueled by “hate”.   Hate A-Rod or Geo Bush or Miley Cyrus or Christmas or Sarah Palin or Simon Cowell.  Take your pick but “hate” something or someone – it’s the American Way.   So A-Rod took steroid in 2003 BEFORE it was made illegal.  If MLB made “stealing 2nd base” illegal today, would Lou Brock, Maury Wills and Ricky Henderson be rounded up and sent to Gitmo?

Michael Phelps …… Superswimmer was caught smoking marijuana.  No one is saying it was the first or last time he did it.  Does “everyone do it”?   I don’t and Missus says she doesn’t either.  I’m pretty sure Prince Albert, Danny, PH, and Chancellor Doogie don’t either.  Was it really really stoopid of Phelps to “do it” and should there be consequences?   I think so but I think all “role models on pedestals” are risky business.  A “lot” of people think “it’s no big deal”.  A “lot” of people think a “lot” of things.

ACC Basketball …… A typical February in the ACC.  The top teams win most of their games except when they get upset.  Duke beats Maryland by 40, then Clemson beats Duke by 30 …… that puts Maryland in a league with that Dallas Academy girl’s team that lost 100-0.  The Fall of Garyland is intriquing ….. it sounds like the BS that dominates big time college BB has simply worn Gary Williams down.  Understandable.

The UNC Dance Team …… I’m sorry.  I know they are all fine young ladies and loved by their parents BUT If you are going to have a booty-shaking squad dressed in spandex and crop tops then lets pay some attention to what goes into those titillating unis.   Is the current squad the cream o’ the crop among UNC coeds ?
Some time in a spray tan booth.  Those girls are whiter than a childrens birthday party at Carolina Country Club.   And some hair and make-up support.  And lots and lots of crunches and sit-ups. There is not ONE abdominal muscle visible among the lot of’em. ….. The cheerleaders are fine …… buff and toned and blond and flipping their little butts off.  But this dance team needs work ….. or dress’em in gingham skirts and call’em “cloggers”. …..

(Don’t give me “that look”.  If you’ve seen a game from the Lower Level you know what I’m saying is true. Yes, the Truth hurts sometimes.)


Where was Phelps when he got “shot” doing it? 


   Great big announcement early next week
BobLeeEmpire takes Giant Step!
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