A Potpourri of WhatAbout

January16/ 2000

 We haven’t done an always popular “whatabout” since moving over to the new website.  In a “whatabout” BobLee takes batting practice on 8-10 issues of the day.  Not enough time to fully untie these sports & social knots; but ideal for those of you with very short attention spans … (the picture of Joey Heaterton is purely gratuitous!)

NBA Playoffs:

   Ah, that special time of the year when some of us actually pay attention to professional basketball.  We now know that 4/10ths of a second can bring an entire city to tears. The ending of Game 5 of Lakers/Spurs was “something else”.  Is Nets coach Lawrence Frank old enough to drive the team bus? Larry Brown’s cheap shots at him constituted child abuse. I never thought much about Kevin Garnett; but he is coming across as a bright and articulate guy (the war analogy notwithstanding) … I’ve decided I like him.

Kids Going To NBA:

   Will EVERYONE finally admit that college basketball has forever changed.  Recruiting any top 10 ranked high schooler is a waste of time … Skip Prosser’s strategy will win out … build a program with 3-4 year “good players”.  Anyone who finds a 6’10”+ “project” that can develop will win a lot of games.  Next season the “recruitniks” will salivate all over again over these kids who can’t spell SAT, just NBA.

AD Hate:

   It may be “off season” for major college sports; but “the goggle-eyed loonies” on area fan message boards never let up.  Both Wuffie and Heel Loonies were ripping their respective Athletics Directors recently.  Wacky Wuffies are all over Lee Fowler for scheduling ECU … and Tar Heel Loonies are, of course, ripping The Little Prince for simply “being”.  We understand that Dickie is not doing the Spring Rams Club Tour due to “extreme audience negativity”.  That rank & file “negativity” is exactly why we question Moe’s extending his contract.  “Perception” is the only reality that matters as regards Mr Baddour at this point.    

Omaha Baseball:

   Last year’s College World Series was outstanding sports commentating.  Harold Reynolds is an OUTSTANDING analyst.  I’d love to sit by him on a coast-coast flight. I’ll watch again this year just because last year was so well done.

US Open @ Shinnecock Hills:

   Coming up in 3 weeks … getting 100,000 spectators out to the eastern end of Long Island has to be a logistical nightmare.  BobLee will be in the NYC vicinity during the week but no plans to try and get too close.

Maurice Clarett & NFL:

   Looking like Clarett is going to lose his bid to overturn the NFL age limit.  A small victory for common-sense but rule likely doomed eventually.  I’m betting this guy is never more than a trivia question in his eventual “career”.

Suppositories VS Shoes:

   Everytime I air travel I think how fortunate we were that Richard Reid “The Shoe Bomber” did not hide that C-4 in a suppository up his butt. Can you imagine the “inspections” that would cause?

Agassi Loses At Roland Garros:

   My interest in Tennis is three notches below “ho hum” but I like to hear the commentators say “Roland Garros” … how many of you “hard core sports fans” can even name 5 current men tennis players? … Name a total of 8 men or women players not named “Williams”.

Stanley Cup Hockey:

   Yet another pro sports “championship” that I won’t be watching. Name 2 players total from the two teams in the finals … which means you have to know or care which two teams are even IN the finals.

Indy 500:

   OK, you can’t name any Indy car drivers either … but “Indy” is one of those legendary “venues” you need to see someday like Churchill Downs and Augusta.  Swagger used to attend the NASCAR race at Indy but two of those were enough … glad I did and glad I don’t any more. 

Reilly on Jayson Williams:

   I appreciate SI’s Rick Reilly’s writing ability but don’t often share his viewpoint.  His recent SI column on “the dead limo driver” was dead solid perfect.  That Jayson Williams receives ANY sympathy is a very sad commentary on how cock-eyed our national value system has become. Do starstruck NBA shlubs think “the limo driver” is just another “consenual” opportunist … HE’S DEAD!


Swagger’s Stumper

What was “Bert’s” occupation in Mary Poppins?



   I haven’t seen “Bobby Jones” yet but plan to.  Van Helsing sounds like a Swagger-type of movie too.  I did see Nemo but never saw Shrek I but apparently I was the only one who didn’t.

Hartsfield Smoking Lounge:

   I passed thru Atlanta coming back from Dallas and reconfirmed that the “Smoking Lounge” at Hartsfield Airport is THE most depressing sight on earth.  Take a minute next time you are running to make your connection and stare at those poor sad gray b*stards in there.

The Hatification of America:

   Regardless of what happens in Iraq … win. lose, draw, in, out, WMD, naked Iraqis, beheadings, et al … we as America are in for the most hateful next six months any of us have ever experienced.  What we have witnessed so far ain’t nothing compared to the furor that will surround the conventions and the debates, etc.  The combination of the appetite of the cable news folks, the Internet, plus the total disappearance of civility in our culture will generate a volcanic explosion of discord.  Regardless of your ideological persuasion, try not to let your passion permeate every single personal and professional relationship you have. I fear that “the terrorists have won” as post 9/11 circa 2004 is certainly a far different America than what I knew before. Whoever wins in November, the wounds being inflicted in every neighborhood in this country are not going to heal … sigh, sob, 

Hearing From A Friend:

   I got a surprise phone call at 11:35 PM Monday night from an old and dear friend I had not heard from in years.  Nothing bad going on … just needed to talk … take a minute and call or write a real letter to an old friend.  E-mails just lack that special touch that says “I’m taking time to think of you”.

 Lance “Bambi” Alworth may have fantasized about Joey Heatherton … but Lance RENTZEL got her to say “I do” … unfortunately Mr Rentzel then became a perv cruising playgrounds.  I don’t think I want to see a picture of Joey today … the memory of those Serta mattress ads is all I need. 

   Swagger is coming to The Big Apple for a week from June 8 – 15 … love to get together w/ any NYC  Buddies.

   I’ve scheduled my “Katie Couric” -oscopy for June 25 … far too much living left to do to risk such a preventable problem.  All you Buddies over 50, have you had yours?

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