A Change That Rocked The World

January16/ 2000

….. Vlad Putin is licking his chops …. Hugo Chavez is thrilled …. Osama bin Laden is dancing a jig.   Gene Nichol, Spike Lee and Jane Fonda are lovin’ it.   Throughout the 3rd world machete-weilding thugs are euphoric.  What singular event in American history last week has triggered such a reaction around the planet?  UNC Footballers WORE NAVY JERSEYS on Saturday….. What did you think I was talking about?

The Kenan Reichter scale needle hit TILT around 11:30 AM on Saturday when Butch Davis’ Tar Heels emerged from their KFC lair wearing NAVY JERSEYS.

Me?  I figured it was in honor of Paul Johnson’s prior employer.  That one requires a little thought but you’ll get it.

To say only the hard-core loonies noticed would be a gross understatement.  More than a few octogenarian Choo Choo-ites swallowed their dentures at the sight.

Reactions ranged from “really, I didn’t notice” to Bill Dooley’s “what shade of Carolina Blue is that?” (True quote)

Did Prince Tassel Loafer approve IT?  Apparently not.  Dickie called Steiny who called Clint Gwaltney who called Willie Scroggs who called Matt Kupec who called Dawn Bunting who called Jimma Sexton who called “Pamela” who said Butch was not available to talk with them but she would give him the message.

Did Woody notice?  He got around to reading Steiny’s note about six minutes into the first quarter.  Up to then he was busy giving listeners personal info on all the refs for post-game “get-evens” for anticpated cheatin’.   This was not a Ron Cherry game.  Ron was apparently cheating someone else this week.

As for me ….. my first reaction was “I can’t read the numbers”.  I turned to the 30-ish she-fan behind me in Section 222 – Row H and asked her, figuring my baby boomer vision was not a fair test.  She said she could not read the numbers either.  Any jersey color combination that obscures the player’s # is as silly as a watchface that obscures what time it is.  Why would you buy such a watch?

A University that would rehire a venomous sleazebag like Gene Nichol is more than capable of dressing its football players in pretty much any color it chooses.  That the navy color is perilously close to a hue favored by its arch rival is a fact but obviously not a deal-breaker to Butch.  It is doubtful that Butch even knows what Duke’s colors are.

Really, I’m fine with navy jerseys …. IF they redo the numbers so they are readable.  For the record, Mizzus HATEs the navy jerseys.  But she is still p*ssed off about the UVa game so her opinion must be discounted.

My all-time favorite Carolina football uniform is the one worn during Dick Crum’s era.  Something about that “lost era” had to be good.  I did not like the “UNC” decal on those helmets but I really liked the jersey.  I’m pretty sure Butch has no idea who Dick Crum was either.

Butch told someone that “EVERYBODY is in favor of his $150,000,000 Kenan Bling Bling Project”.  So, he’ll probably be told “EVERYBODY likes the navy jerseys too.”   Methinks Pale Rider has surrounded himself with a staff of sycophants who pretty much tell him what he wants to hear.   He’s not the first autocrat to do that.

Luckily for UNC fans, Butch and his staff of sycophants can also develop a pretty darn good football team in a year and a half.

Putting aside all the ridiculous $290,000 bonuses, stadium bling bling, limited dealings with alumni, not buying a house in Chapel Hill, navy jerseys, etc etc etc ….. UNC Football is officially pretty doggone good these days.  I have accepted the premise that is all that matters in 2008.   I’m not paying for the bling bling.  I don’t care if he buys or rents.  If he redoes the navy jersey numbers, I say Zigga Zoomba Butch!

Barring a late November collapse which seems doubtful we are looking at 9-10 Ws and a good chance to go to Atlanta for New Years.  If we do, I’ll be there.  If it’s a Florida bowl, I’ll watch it on my 40” flat-screen.


Before we leave “Butch” …. The rumors are heating up about Tennessee.  SURPRISE SURPRISE !!! Here’s how that silliness works ….

  • There is “a list” at UT and Butch’s name is likely on that list.  He would be an excellent catch for a desperate program.  He was an excellent catch for a desperate program two years ago.
  • Jimma Sexton, or Butch, saying Butch is “not interested” is as meaningless as Cocoa Puff saying he’s not a hard-core socialist.  What else would either possibly say for the time being?
  • Allowing “will Butch leave” to cloud one’s enjoyment of Carolina’s fine season is really stoopid.  Ergo, a sizable number of Tar Heel fans will do just that.  Let’em. 
  • There is no sentimental attachment to Chapel Hill to cause Butch to stay.  Come up with a list of ten general questions about UNC, Chapel Hill and Tar Heel sports and I guarantee you Butch can not answer seven of them.  He is here to win FB games and make a lot of $$$.  He is a mercenary …. Always has been and always will be.  He is also EXCELLENT at turning around floundering college FB programs.  He will stay at Carolina if he thinks it is in his best interest to do so.  For now that appears to be the case.
  • If UT comes at him with a Nick PLUS offer (which they ARE capable of doing) he WILL listen.  Buy-out clauses and whining fans will not be a factor.  Pleas from players will not be a factor.  He’s finessed all that before and is capable of doing it again. ….. Butch also knows how to leverage his situation so this season is going to cost Dickie big time regardless.
  • Will UNC match some colossal $4-5,000,000/year offer?  No.  Will Ol’ Roy wish they would.  Yep.
  • There are no other guaranteed Rock Stars available right now.  Mike Leach is the closest thing to it and he is kinda weird.
  • EVERYTHING you will hear and read the next three weeks is going to come from UT and UNC board monkeys.  It means NOTHING.  Sportwriters actually pull rumors off of message boards.  Sportswriters are not all that smart.  Brain surgery, rocket science and interviewing T.O. are not a trifecta.  If cyber retards repeat anything three times on a message board it becomes gospel.   Coaching rumors are always the #1 topic among board monkeys.  Jerseys colors are #2.  Intro music is #3.  Killing a “coordinator” is #4.  #5 involves Erin Andrews.
  • Will the UT/Butch rumors build in intensity over the next three weeks?  Absolutely, as will rumors of Cocoa Puff’s secret police and his plan to burn the US Constitution on January 21 at a barbecue on P-Diddy’s yacht.  Could either of these really happen?  You betcha.

In BCS World …. It is all shaking out just as it always does.  Florida v Alabama will resolve that.  TexasTech has 1-2 mountains to climb.  Texas can only watch and hope as must USC.  Florida and Oklahoma are probably the best two teams.  Oklahoma hasn’t won a bowl game since before Cocoa Puff was anything but a community agitator.

Tennessee Titans will not go undefeated.  Larry Csonka need not worry.   Some UT Vol nitwit will suggest offering Jeff Fisher $10,000,000 to come to Knoxville.  That nitwit is 46 years old and lives in a cardboard box outside Chattanooga.


 What “rank” was Bob Neyland?


Carl Torbush is Asst HC at Carson-Newman and hopefully very happy “just coaching football”.

   Plaudits are still coming in from Deacons about my visit to Deacon Tower.  Nothing spoken but the truth here.  Congrats to Jim Grobe for whompin’ the Hoos.  A late season swoon could still doom Algroh.

   Also congrats to TO’B Wuffs for their surprisingly easy win over Cut’s Devils.  Me and Prince Albert did the Triangle Two-step and were at both Kenan and The Wally.  BTW, the scoreboards at The Wally are MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to read than the scoreboards in Kenan.  That’s a fact.  They are.

   Is Raleigh’s News & Observer closer than ever to more employee lay-offs.  Yes, with even more to follow the next round.  Can anything be done to “save the N&O” ….. nope.  Good riddance.

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