A Bad Haircut

January16/ 2000

 Swagger’s column on Chancellor Moeser drew the full spectrum of comments … from “Hooray for BobLee’s quiet voice of reason” to “have you sold out?” … most fell in between.  We wanted to get some of you to reexamine your animosity towards the guy.  Maybe your dislike of the dude is justified depending on your opinion of what his job is/should be. Like Dickie … he will likely never overcome his unpopularity among the rank & file … 

   Swagger is up in Fairfield County (Stamford) CT for a few days.  I’ll be meeting some NYC SwaggerSays guys later tonight then a few Westchester golf deals then a few days in A-City.  Longest “road trip” of the season.  Travel in 2004 is as frustrating as you want to make it … sorta like how much do you want to obsess on Dickie or Moe.  I prefer to roll with most of the punches of both types of frustrations.

   Mamma Swagger always said “when its time to take off your girdle, you know it” … all of a sudden it just gets too tight.  I find “haircuts” the same way.  You wake up one morning and that 1/32” your hair grew overnight was just enough … Time To Get A Haircut!  I overcame the fear of a “haircut on the road” a few years ago and know to tell the perfect stranger holding the scissors and clippers “just a trim” until I can get back home to “my barber”.  

   I walked into “East Side Barber” in downtown Stamford.  “James” made a big deal of introducing himself (that shoulda been a clue!) … I said “leave it long on the sides and back … clean up the top” … he thought I said “I’m playing a marine in a local theater production of South Pacific; give me a Parris Island special”.  

   When I realized what he had done I carefully weighed my options including ripping the sheet off  and completely destroying “James” and his shop.  I settled on “it’ll grow back … I’m still alive … Mizzus and Kid are happy and healthy … PLUS  it WILL grow back.”  As I walked to my car I actually felt it growing back.  As with most “OH Nos” in life … my bad haircut was not nearly as bad as I thought at first plus I needed a new ballcap anyway. There have been times in my life I would have reacted a bit differently to “a bad haircut”.  Maybe that’s why Dickie and Moe don’t bother me as much as they do some of you.

   Whatever The Univ of North Carolina IS … and that’s another “favorite Bond girl” question … it will survive Dickie Baddour and James Moeser AND it will most certainly survive the Internet Wookies. In fact, it is plodding right along with all of them on board right now.

   I love The History Channel and their documentaries about Genghis Khan or Caesar or Hitler or Saladin, et al.  World history is an endless succession of mortal men gaining power and affecting their will on their world in their time. Somehow they all turn to dust and Earth keeps rotating and revolving in the time honored fashion. The recent Reagan remembrances were an interesting study of how “stuff just keeps happening” no matter who is in charge.


Swagger’s Stumper

Who were the co-hosts of Hee Haw?


     The aspect of attitudes towards Dickie and Moe that has always fascinated me is this inference that they (or ANY Ath Dir or Chancellor) have any autonomy to speak of.  Dickie has not hired or fired a coach during his reign without the fore knowledge and approval of several layers of supervisors.  Academia is nothing if not an endless level of bureaucracy.  Now they do have full autonomy to say foolish things as Moe did about screwing up the Susan Ehringhaus execution.  “I didn’t have any specific guidelines for how to get rid of the woman so I just just threw a bunch of money at her and she went away …” (slightly paraphrased) … Personally, I thought it was a phrase for the ages and merited its own t-shirt at Johnny T-Shirt but I guess I was alone in my appreciation for such.

    Many in the Internet cauldron of percolating bile love to give Dickie more autonomy than Steinbrenner, Lombardi and Connie Mack combined.  In truth, his approval level about tops out at getting Willie Scroggs a new mouse pad.  Much beyond that and various Athletic Councils, Provosts, Fat Cats, BOT, and Molly Broad’s exfoliator must sign off.  Ergo … to “hate that damn Dickie Baddour” really means “to hate” half the people eating dinner at Top Of The Hill on any particular evening. That kinda freaks out Dickie’s Fan Club so they dump it all on the little fellow.

   The same holds for Jimmy Moe in South Building.  He can approve new mouse pads for a much longer list of people than can Dickie but he cannot divert the course of mighty rivers nor decide to repaint Bingham Hall in Nebraska’s team colors.  Nor could his predecessor nor will his successor.  

    As I stated in the Moeser Misjudged column … neither Dickie nor Moe misrepresented themselves when they were hired.  Physically and Personality-wise the BOT knew what they were getting.  I always find it interesting that rank and file animosity never seems to seep that far upstream.  I think, AT A MINIMUM, each member of the UNC BOT should be required to have a bumper sticker and a t-shirt that says 




Chocolate Thunder was Darryl Dawkins … BobLee was present when Darryl tore down his first NBA backboard in Kansas City in the late 70s … UNC Educ Fnd VP Phil Ford was also on-hand that night so was Bill Robinzine.

Bill Parcells and Larry Bird got poleaxed by the PC Police this week.  Yawn!

Swagger’s taking the subway to Brother Jimmy’s tonight … wanna bet he runs into a column topic or three along the way?

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