Tiger Gets Blind Sided

January15/ 2000

….. No.  I’m not gonna do a buncha Tiger one-liners.   Tiger one-liners have reached the pandemically viral level.  I’ve received 37 e-mails of Tiger w/ the beat up face. …. I’ll do minimal Tiger stuff. ….. I’ll wrap-up “BobLee & Butch” and do a MUST SEE Movie Review.

That latest BobLee on Butch piece got all the expected knees jerking.   A few “HOW DARE YOUs” from “Carolina Can Do No Wrong” folks.  The Lupine Loons of WuffWorld weren’t sure what to do with it.  I was reminded that (1) I treasure my many good friends among the red-clad lupine …. (2) there IS a scary sub-culture within that species for whom the term “get a life” is, at best, just wishful thinking.

To re-iterate ….. “losing to State” bothered me for about 30 seconds because I have friends whose livelihoods are invested in the success of UNC Athletics.  These are competitive sports events ….. exciting and emotional.  And an easy source of column fodder.  “Stuff that matters” is unaffected by game wins or losses.  Given the choice, I prefer “my team” wins.  I am never given that choice and obviously not last Saturday.

My issues with Butch Davis involve his detached attitude towards “being a Tar Heel”.  He is merely operating Butch Davis’ Football Program out of Kenan Stadium.  Some of you could care less and I appreciate that.

To “get UNC to the next level” Butch will have to (1) recruit X number of “loose cannons” who WILL have off-field issues ….. (2) get Admissions to allow him more academic exceptions than has previously been the case.  I accept those realities understanding the cold-bloodied mercenary aspects of “the business” of Big Time college sports.  I would just like to see him “fake it” a little better.  I’m not asking for a Bunting-esque Hark The Sound sing-along, but recognizing the tune would be nice.  For the record ….. I am not alone in my concerns.


Kudos to Roy Two Rings (& One-Arm) for leading his youngsters to another fine W over Tom Izzo’s Spartans.  Tougher December challenges await at UK and vs Texas.  Nothing Ol Roy does surprises me.  That sucka is one intense, passionate, driven and competitive guy.


Little Johnny Swofford’s ACCCG continues to generate the anxious anticipation and pulse-pounding excitement of a WNBA pre-season scrimmage.  Another “cover-up the upper deck and give away 20,000 tickets to the Boys/Girls Clubs of Greater Tampa”.  Yawn and double yawn.  Losing the Big Ten/ACC Challenge has Not sent me into deep depression.


Opinions on Tiger are like “noses” (every living being has one) but NOT “like snowflakes” which are all different.  Every yahoo with a modem is an expert.   You are either in the “deserves his privacy” group or the “do the crime, pay the price” camp.  There are sub-sets within each camp.

If you had asked me two weeks ago if I thought Tiger was a serial philanderer I would have said No.  There was no reason to think so unless one is of the “they all are” mind-set.

Why assume Tiger is “different” from all the other notorious celebrity philanderers from sports, politics, entertainment, big bizness, religion et al.  Or all the non-celebrity philanderers from Rotary Clubs and the local Baptist Church.  It doesn’t take fame or fortune to philander …. just a weak character.

If I listed my Top Twenty married friends & associates I would expect “a few of’em” have/do “stray”.   If I knew which ones, yes, I would slide them into a separate category just as I would if they were busted for drugs or some “white collar crime”.   It would “change” our relationship depending upon how close it was.

Do I “think less” of Tiger now?  I never thought that much about Tiger other than his obvious “best among the best” golfing acumen.  Factor in the “race thing” and the child prodigy thing and his life story is beyond “compelling”.  Now the clay feet in his Nikes need some heavy-duty Odor-eaters.

    Elin can walk with $300,000,000, dwarfing what Juanita Jordan got and what Greg Norman’s ex got.  I “sigh” at the implosion of any role model.   There are still many many “Be like Mike’s” out there ….. and certainly many “Be like Tigers”.   Now more  impressionable youths will assume “everybody does it”.   BobLee doesn’t “do it”.  The “Be like BobLee” campaign has yet to gain mainstream traction!

Tiger exposed as just another highly-talented serial philandering narcissist does NOT indict Tim Tebow, Peyton Manning, Kurt Warner or the late Pat Tillman to name a handful; at least not to me.   DOES THIS indict “all of’em” in your eyes?  

For all of Michael’s rings and all of Tiger’s majors …. simply selfish serial philandering “playas” who assumed their celebrity gives them the right to behave however they please.   It’s 2009.  It probably does.  To many, “philandering is a virtue” to be enjoyed.  I am not among that “many”.

As for Tiger’s curious choices as philanderettes ….. he has slightly higher standards than ESPN’s Steve Phillips.  Are all Nightclub Marketeers now presumed to be skanks on the prowl?  Were they ever assumed to be otherwise?  Surely “a Kardashian” will ultimately make Tiger’s ever-growing list?

If Tiger read these columns he would have followed my “leave off the BUT” advice in his “transgressions” lecture.  He destroyed any sincerity in his “apology” by taking the shot at “the media” and “inquiring minds” in the last half of his remarks.  Oh …. there’s A LOT more to be revealed about Tiger’s shenanigans ….. LOTS!

Tiger Woods is sorry …. that he got caught.  I am too.


   The NFL says it is now concerned about “concussions”.  Are you?  For the excitement of BIG HITS and the other team’s QB being reduced to a drooling eggplant …. do you much care?  None of you have sons or brothers who are NFL QBs do you?


 RUN, don’t walk, to see the new movie The Blind Side.  Taken from a true story about a “well to do” Southern white family that takes in a black kid “from the projects” and helps him achieve great success as a first round NFL draft choice.

To paraphrase a line from the movie ….. “it’s like an onion with many layers to peel away”.   You may simply go to see Sandra Bullock who is “hotter than a Jones County tobacco field in July” as Leigh Anne Tuohy the Memphis housewife who takes in Michael “Big Mike” Oher. The former ECU coed is aging incredibly well.  Tim McGraw is terrific in the role of Sean Tuohy, Leigh Anne’s Taco Bell franchisee husband.

This movie may be Hollywood’s fairest portrayal EVER of an upscale contemporary white Southern family of Christian Conservatives.  They work very hard …. they live very well …. and they all love each other a lot.  Works for me and a lot of you too I bet.

Sandra Bullock dominates the movie but Tim was a perfect “well-to-do middle-aged white Southern man”.  I know a lot of Sean Tuohys.  Tim represented the gendre very well.

Leigh Anne Tuohy is a classic example of the most terrifying stupyfyingly delightful creature that God ever manufactured – The Steel Magnolia.  As portrayed by Ms Bullock, Leigh Anne is “a five tool player” ….. she can (1) kick ass …. (2) take names …. (3) plan/serve a dinner party for twelve flawlessly ….. (4) juggle her own business, two kids schedules, a PTA, a weekly prayer group with the District Attorney, and Saturday’s tailgate @ The Grove ….. and (5) look menacingly to-die-for with a pair of Gucci shades perched on a hassle-free coif.

I won A Steel Magnolia Lottery 26 years ago.  Many of you did too.  As for the rest of you ….. you don’t know what you’re missing.

It’s a sports movie (SEC Football) ….. it’s a “contemporary South” movie ….. it’s a “racial movie” ….. it’s a political movie ….. it’s a sappy tear-jerker movie ….. it’s predictable ….. it takes broad licenses ….. it’s a True Story.  YOU HAVE to see it.  If you can read between the lines in these columns week after week then you will “get” The Blind Side.

I look forward to your comments about the movie The Blind Side.  (It gets it’s name from, of all people, Lawrence Taylor!)


   For those of you keeping score in the Really Big Coaches Update ….. stick forks in Charles Weis & Mark Mangino.  Ralph Friedgen survives.  In the 80 y/o Coach Update ….. Bobby lost.  It turns out the FSU President & Trustees did indeed outrank him ….. Go Figure!
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