48 Hours of WOW !!! …. and Tiger Too!

January15/ 2000

…   As fine a long weekend of college football in the History of Earth (OK, there was a hiccup at The Fairgrounds !!).  From Colt on Thursday night to Toby on Saturday night ….. as fine a sports viewing experience as this long time spectator can recall.  ….. and, of course, there was that little fender bender behind the gates of Isleworth.

OK, we’ll cover that latest unpleasantness at The Carter first.   I thought it was going to be a Baby Blue blow-out from the first few series.  Despite ThePaleRider’s “it’s just another game” pre-game pep talk, his in-state players seemed to realize that was NOT the case and came out kickin’ butt.

The first few series raised hopes that Butch might end his Carter-Finley Jinx.   Alas, as of of mid-afternoon Saturday it’s now Carter-Finley – 3 ….. PaleRider – 0.  Yes, 3-0 …. ECU whupped him there once.

Without an Offensive Coordinator and with naught but pride on the line, TO’B recalled that give it to Russell and everyone GO LONG” worked pretty well a year ago …. So he tried that again.  It worked quite well once again.  It’s too early to predict but with Russell Wilson being around two more years, ya think we might see a similar strategy next Fall?   Ya think?

Earlier in the week, Carolina’s $2,295,000 mercenary poo-pooed the State v Carolina rivalry as “just another game”.  Among Butch’s growing list of verbal “uh ohs”, this one moved immediately into the top three.  Good luck on getting Tar Heel Nation to buy into that one, Butchie.

Butch has his own personal rivalry with Miami in which he is 3-0.   Good for him.  That was created when he “lied to dem ‘Canes” and skeedaddled to Cleveland after swearing he wouldn’t.  How’d that Cleveland deal work out for ya, Butch?  Did you try to convince Browns fans that the Steelers was “just another game”?

We oughta be thankful he didn’t have the kids out wearing those stoopid navy unis again.  “How many Choos in Choo Choo, Butch?  Like you could care!”  

As far as Carolina fans maintaining our silly old rivalries with State and Virginia going back 50+ years, I’m pretty sure we can keep those if we want to ….. just don’t expect Butch Davis to give a rip.

No Tar Heel child born after November 18, 2006 has EVER celebrated a UNC football victory over NC State.  At the current rate, they never will.  At least Tyler never lost a game in Cameron.  We DO have active W streaks vs Citadel, Georgia Southern and McNeese State …. by golly!

Hey BobLee, what about Butch expecting a fat raise after going 8-4?  I fully expect another “ransom demand” but here’s the GOOD NEWS.  It won’t cost “us” this time.   Tom O’Brien has said HE will pay Butch’s ransom demands ….. whatever it takes to keep Butch coaching at Carolina.

   The reality is: TO’B – 3 … PaleRider – 0.  Since Russell only has two years left.  I’m circling 2012 as “our year”.  Butch’s Suites in “NewKenan” should be finished by then and we can all celebrate with him.   Whoop de freakin’ doo!

 I do not fault coaches for losing games.  Balls bounce funny.  I DO fault mercenaries for still not “getting it” AFTER THREE YEARS! 

BobLee, you DO know this column will get plastered up on StateFansNation & PackPride don’t you?  Sure, guaranteed within minutes, I figure.  But, hey ….. TOB – 3 /  Butch – 0.   It is what it is and it “matters”.


Really ….. has there EVER been a long weekend of “big games” that was as much fun as this past one was?   From that first bomb on the third play Thursday night at Kyle Field …. until TD Toby stabbed Charlie thru the heart in Palo Alto late Saturday night, it was non-stop  die-and-go-to-heaven for Real Fans.  This weekend was why God invented HDTV. 

Every “Heisman Hopeful” was on display and 3 of the 4 rose to the occasion Big Time.  Colt outrunning and outgunning the Aggies ….. Tim just being Tim in his Swamp Finale ….. and
freakin’ Toby Gerhart wiping that smirk off the face of Smilin’ John Tenuta.

I got a question.  If you’re “the greatest defensive coordinator in the history of football” and EVERYBODY on Earth including Dean’s 8,000,000,000 Chinese know that #7 is going to carry the ball …. Don’t you tell every Irish Catholic wearing a gold helmet to “STOP TOBY “?   That one play in the final drive where #7 literally pancaked the entire Irish defense was a classic.

Did ya catch that Toby Gerhart is carrying 21 credit hours at STANFORD during this season, including Calculus!  The average BIG TIME collge FB student-athlete couldn’t “carry 21 credit hours” in a heavy-duty pick-up truck or spell “calculus” if you spotted him “_alculus”.  Toby also plays baseball ….. AND, probably, delivers Meals On Wheels at halftime.

I do love Colt and Tim but I’d be fine if they not only give Toby Gerhart the Heisman but remolded the trophy to be him.

Did you know that both Colt and Tim’s roommates are their #1 receivers ….. Jordan Shipley and Riley Cooper respectively.  Is that right out of a Clair Bee Chip Hilton novel OR WHAT!   Colt …. Tim …. Jordan ….. Riley ….. are these kids all direct from Central Casting or what ?? …… “Living The Dream” ….. the stuff of goosebumps.

Did you also know that Colt’s girlfriend has the same first name, Rachael, as the most famous Southampton Diva in America.  More about THAT later.

There will always be rival fans who “hate” kids like Colt and Tim and Toby and Tyler and Philip Rivers and Russell Wilson and Tim Duncan and Jeter and “The Mannings”.  To those wretched souls I say “may you drown slowly and painfully in your own toxic bile ….”

Long live “the good solid guys” who play the game the “old school” way.  They don’t always win; but they are ALWAYS WINNERS!

In TallyHassy, Bobby The Cryptkeeper is on life-support.   The “designated next head coach-in-waiting” is almost as stoopid an athletic administrator decision as “the lifetime contract”.   Expect both admin-idiocies to remain popular.  Learning from the mistakes of your peers doesn’t happen too often in sports.  The El Cid Option for Bobby looms likely.  Dip his mummified corpse in Lucite, stick the leather hat on it, and designate Chuck Amato to haul it out each game.

Rough weekend for The Really Big Boys On The Hot Seats …… Weis, Mangino, & Fridgen all lost another game. That’s over 1,000 pounds on “the hot seat”.  Better be a strong seat, huh?

Up in Hooville, Algroh joins Sally Hemming among the “names never to be mentioned on The Lawn”.  The total of “fired coaches UVa still pays” is edging close to total of “rivalry games Butch has lost” ….. not a good thing for either school.  :>(


We were driving to “da beach” when Missus got an e-mail alert – “Tiger Woods seriously injured in traffic accident”.  That’s all there was for several hours.  The mind reeled.  Then the sketchy details started to filter in …..

I don’t care what the story is or who it involves, It’s A Hoot Winner if you can include the phrase ….. “Rachel Uchitel, VIP Hostess at a NYC nightcub (known for its lounge couches), is known as “The Southampton Diva” and was staying at Tiger’s hotel in Melbourne last week….. “  “Melbourne” adds that nice touch of international flair.

That’s up there with “Wilbur Mills & The Argentine Firecracker were fished out of the Tidal Basin at 3 AM ….” and “the Democratic congressman had $100,000 of cold cash in his refrigerator’s freezer”.   Really, all the Tiger story lacked was “McQueen Campbell happened by on roller skates as Elin chased Tiger down the driveway screaming Swedish obscenities and flailing a 2-iron.”

Apparently Earl never taught Eldrick …. “never piss off a former Swedish nanny after midnight”.   

Missus’ theory includes Dubai where Tiger has significant bucks sunk in a giant-normous Dubai real estate venture – Tiger Woods World @ Dubai.   Wednesday we also learned that Dubai is in deep financial doo-doo.   Did Elin learn not only is Tiger “catting around” (pun intended!) but their unlimited bankroll may be as sketchy as a coach’s lifetime contract?

Hey I don’t know what El Tigre may be up to.  He’s always behaved himself and I appreciate that as well as his incredible golfing achievements.   Is he simply the latest mega-celebrity to reveal there are clayfeet in his Nikes?  Carolina fans have always overlooked MJ’s lengthy list of off-court shenanigans …. So will Tiger get the same pass?   Probably.

Metaphorically, Tiger just chillydipped about a half-dozen Titileists in Rae’s Creek at Amen Corner.  Can he recover?  Sure.  Unscathed ? ….. nope, Tiger be scathed!

When ya sequester behind the high walls of Isleworth (“where CEOS and other sports stars like Shaq also live ….”) and “lawyer up” for four days you’re telling inquiring minds and fans to “go suck eggs”.   That’s fine and legal ….. but it’ll never ever quite be the same …. Will it?


For Carolina Fans …..

Would you trade the two Ws over Miami & VaTech
for one W over NC State?  

Think about it …. UNC would still get some Whozit Bowl but life in your cul-de-sac would be less teeth-clenching agony for the next year AGAIN. Not a problem apparently for ThePaleRider in his Meadowmont condo.

For NC State Fans …..

Would YOU trade that W over UNC for Ws over SoCar and BC to get to go to some Whozit Bowl …. but lose braggin’ rights?

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