Where Did “Bully” Barber Hide The Box?

Barber
Agent Pierce
January11/ 2017

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Where Did Bully Barber Hide The Box?

Barber 2Hiddy-Ho Friends & Neighbors. It’s been awhile since we’ve visited.

Everywhere I go these days I get asked about that ol’ rascal – Reverend William “Bully” Barber a/k/a The Papal Grand Dragon of The NC Democratic Party. For some reason many of you think I am The Authority on Reverend “Hoot & Hate”. Other than bestowing on him that oh-so-perfect moniker “Bully”, I’m really not shadowing the scary scallywag.

The specific question I am asked lately is…. “Where does “Bully” keep the box?”

Huh? “the box” … What box? I forget we are always dealing with “newbees” here. Allow me…Tryon

Surely you all know about Ray/Roy – “Chicken” – Cooper – the latest in a long series of incredibly unimpressive Governors of North Carolina. I recently tweeted that the last “impressive” governor in NC was William Tryon back in 1772.  That’s the guy that built “The Palace” in New Bern that you keep meaning to visit some day.  Tryon was quite unimpressive too even by British Colonial standards but I digress.

Speaking of unimpressive NC Governors and New Bern, does anyone know if Bev “Baby Dumplin’” Perdue is still making her famous Rice Krispy Treats?

North Carolina Governors are like Clemson Basketball Coaches.  They are all in Witness Protection Programs or something.  ?????

Sooooo….Rev “Bully” Barber has Governor “Chicken” Cooper’s testicles “in a box”. Yes, it IS a very small box; about the size of a contact lens case. No one mistakes Cooper for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson if ya get my drift.

I saw a description of “Chicken” recently. “Roy Cooper looks like the Assistant Manager of a Dollar Store in Mebane”. I don’t know if there IS a Dollar Store in Mebane or what it’s assistant manager looks like but I loved the description, don’t you? …. I also like “Roy Cooper looks like “the second chair barber” at Floyd’s Barber Shop. OUCH!Roy Cooper

I told a little liberal lady recently that Ray/Roy was “an empty suit without Pat McCrory’s charisma…” She thought about that for a minute then noted “but Pat McCrory didn’t have charisma.” DUH! Can’t fool her.  Bless her heart.

Anyhoo… “Chicken” Cooper is NC’s duly-inaugurated Governor for the next four years or until we can catch him doing something impeachable, whichever comes first. “Catching him” is one thing. Getting his little weasely pal – New Attorney General Josh “The Annointed One” Stein to prosecute him is another matter. And if THAT would happen, getting The N&O to mention it is certainly never going to happen.

“The Box” AgentPierce… what about “The Box”? How did “Bully” get Cooper’s testicles “in a box” and where did “Bully” hide the box?

Remember those 90,000 votes that somehow magically appeared at a Durham Election HQ on November 8 at around 11 PM. Surely you remember that. It was “Bully’s” gang that produced those magic votes 97% of which were for Cooper. What are the odds of that ?

That is known in the Election Fraud Biz as The St Louis Midnight Shuffle. St Louis politics has long been under the iron-fist of the local union thugs who are 120% Democrat. Former Congressman Richard “Little Dickie” Gephart was owned by the union thugs.  They had “Little Dickie’s” testicles in a box.

Every state/federal election in which results were going to be close, unmarked vans would arrive at local St Louis Election HQ between 11:00 PM and midnight. A gang of “guys named Mo” would start unloading crates of “hey, we just found these 1,000s of uncounted ballots”. Miraculously all of which were for whichever Democ candidate was trailing at that 11th hour.

Chicago has its “Graveyard Voters”. St Louis has The Arch – Stan Musial – and “The Midnight Shuffle”.  Amaze your friends with that story. …. And that is what “Bully” Barber’s gang of “scary NFL linebacker-types” delivered for Ray/Roy Cooper on Nov 8th to put Ray/Roy in the Governor’s Mansion…. And to put Ray/Roy’s little testicles in “Bully” little box. If “Bully” Barber makes you … then “Bully” Barber can break you… and Ray/Roy knows that every hour of evCooperery day.

For the next four years any time Rev “Bully” Barber says “JUMP”, Governor Ray/Roy Cooper will say “How high, sir?” on the way up.  The Bully Man owns Governor Cooper lock, stock and testicles.

But where does “Bully” keep the box?

There are two schools of thought: (1) on his large person maybe on a gold chain around his neck or in one of many pockets in his papal robes… (2) he has buried that box of testicles somewhere. It would need to be nearby for quick retrival.

My best guess – it is “a guess” – is that “Bully” Barber has buried the little box of Governor Ray/Roy “Chicken” Cooper’s testicles…

In The Azalea Garden behind WRAL Studio on Western Blvd.

WRAL Azalea

Think about it. The Triangle’s #1 Limo Liberal Goofy Ol’ Jim Goodmon has been bankrolling “Bully” shenanigans for years. Jimmy G launders the Bully Buck$ thru his A.J. Fletcher Foundation. And, of course, it was Goodmon’s toadie Peter Anlyan that made “Bully” nationally infamous with his “at least 80,000, maybe more” faux press release when “maybe 5,000” of “Bully’s” brain-dead disciples marched down Raleigh’s Fayetteville Street 5-6 years ago.

If, again it is “if”, the little box w/ Cooper’s testicles is indeed buried in WRAL’s Azalea Garden and you want to go over there and dig around for it, feel free to do so.  No clue what Ray/Roy’s testicles might bring on eBay.

If Jim Goodmon or one of his goons should question you, tell’em you are a transsexual just looking for a pretty place to pee.

Later Friends & Neighbors….

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  • Radio_Smuggles Reply
    4 months ago

    The box is likely buried somewhere on RBB’s person. Maybe Jimmy or Laura Leslie will volunteer to do a cavity search. It will be a substantial undertaking. 😏

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      Jimm G and Laura Leslie giving RBB a full cavity search would sure be a ratings spike for Sweeps Week …. 😳

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    4 months ago

    AP,
    FINE…..MIGHTY F>I>N>E piece of work….Although, as Mark Russell told some folks in NC many years ago….his gig SHOULD have been free in NC as they kept electing Senator Helms and kept him well stocked.
    Can you tickle the ivories and write some little ditties….? I’ll help with the Lyrics….you gotta sing and accompany…
    How about this…..(think Tony Bennett….the SINGER….not the UVA BB Coach)
    I left my balls in Bully’s box….
    High upon a hill, he cut them off
    Then my brain caught the ugly pox
    Describing a little snow as a FEMA event….
    I’ll be loyal to you and Jimmy G forever…..ever….
    And then you can pull some magic and get me re-elected in 2020…..

    I’m also pleased that folks had the same reaction to ORC “Winging IT” about the snow. That was so lame that even Binky laughed afterwards….until Laura whapped him with her PETA approved LGBTQ shoulder accessory.

    I assume that later on, AP might discuss the Professor Hill Con Man that is heading up NC DEQ….the SAME one that raised upwards of $5 MILLION for his “Environmental Defense Fund” and can’t account for about HALF of the spending…..and no one has audited the folks or organizations that he gave half the $$’s to. HE is gonna do a shakedown at DEQ that even HRC would be proud of.

    Bev’s EX Budget Director….the one that ran up the debt so that Patty and the NCGA Laddies had to HOLD OFF on Raises to teachers and such…and THEN got speared by the N&O and WRAL. That guy is going to control the purse strings….

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      “…. testicles in a box” was a bit that Rush did some year ago re: how Hillary castrated all the “Ichabods” around her… a/k/a “the Testicular Lock Box”.
      .
      I look forward to a bountiful Ray/Roy regime overflowing with most fine column fodder. And, of course, Ye Olde Bully Man ain’t going away.

  • BGT.73 Reply
    4 months ago

    This column is like watching The Godfather. Every time I read it I see something I missed the other times. The stuff about NC’s long history of unimpressive governors is OUTTA SIGHT!

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      “Leave the governors… take the cannolis”

  • JDanWuff Reply
    4 months ago

    After listening to Roy stumble through his winter storm last week, I have concluded that he is Forrest Gump. The poor fellow speaks in broken sentences and reads as if he is dyslexic.
    I fear that he is impaired. Either that or he is an unmuzzled beef-witted skainsmate. You decide.

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      I think Ray/Roy was following the sign-language gal. She was two sentences ahead of him. I’m telling you… NC’s Governors are a quite unimpressive gaggle of goobers.

  • Terri.in.Greenville Reply
    4 months ago

    I get “Chicken” Cooper but where do you get Ray/Roy?

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      Glad you asked. Others might be wondering too. When Hillary a/k/a The Wicked Witch of Chappaqua came thru NC on one of her frantic campaign forays last Fall, she encouraged her brain-dead followers to “… and be sure and vote for RAY Cooper for Governor”. Since we have been told that Hillary is “THE smartest woman EVER on the planet” who am I to dispute that Cooper’s name is indeed “Ray”. Ray/Roy is just me being sure to cover my bases. 🙂

  • robedixon Reply
    4 months ago

    Maybe it is time for the NC Elections board to require certain counties to hold election “results” until all of these certain counties can release at same time. I am thinking of something like Bumcombe/Durham for Dems and Johnston/Union/Iredell as an example for Repbs. Yes it is silly, but it would help restore some trust to the cycle.

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      “Silly” is the new Normal. I fear “the cycle” is too far gone for any “trust” to be restored. Blow it up and start over.

  • richard.k Reply
    4 months ago

    WOW! Alls I can say is 2017 should be quite a year for AgentPierce!

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      4 months ago

      YA THINK? BL and I thrive on CHAOS & Foolishness and this year could be The All You Can Eat Buffet of both. 🙂

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