August 11, 2021
Oh to be … a Smart Sophisticated Faux-Intellectual Liberal Elite!
If I have learned anything in 20 odd years as an Internet smart aleck it is … There is ALWAYS One More Clown to emerge from that itty bitty clown car in the center ring of Life’s circus.
This week’s emerging clown is NY Times White House Correspondent Annie Karni.
Interviewed by CNN’s Jim “I am NOT Brian Stelter’s boyfriend” Accosta, this witless dust bunny opined that …
… it was quite all right for the 500 or so Buddies of Barack to mingle maskless at his recent Martha’s Vineyard Soiree BECAUSE – drumroll please – they were all Sophisticated …” Don’t you know.
Ya can’t make this stuff up folks. At least I can’t. REALLY … out of 500 people surely a couple of’em – (1) know Dale Earnhardt was Dale Earnhardt Jr’s daddy … (2) have poured Tom’s salted peanuts in a Coca Cola bottle and – (3) drank it along with a Moon Pie while – (4) makin’ out in the back of a pick’em up truck with their cuzzin. Haven’t they?
Little Ms Karni is, sadly, NOT alone in her dim-witted cluelessness.
Let me tell you about this fella I used to know over in Chapel Hill … about 16-18 years ago.
I am going to call him “Ronnie” because he really really really HATED Ronald Reagan. That wasn’t his real name. I don’t want to upset any of his living relatives that might stumble in here. Fat chance of That!
I met “Ronnie” when I still had a double digit number of “friends” over there. I’m down to maybe five now and quite comfortable with those. He and I were part of a “get together and tell jokes about State / Duke fans” bunch.
I’ll never forget our very first conversation. It went “blah blah blah … yadda yadda … I scored 1537 on my SAT … blah blah..
Ronnie – well into his mid-late 50s – not only recalled his SAT score from 35 years prior but felt obliged to tell folks what his score was. It would not be until our second meeting a week or so later that he reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain with what he said was his MENSA key. Whoa!
I’m not going to say that I knew right then and there that 20 years from now I’m gonna write about this flamin’ nitwit and nobody’s gonna believe me. But here we are and …
Heeeere’s Ronnie … The quintessential Chapel Hill Smart Sophisticated Faux-intellectual Liberal Elitist.
Even back then I was already of the Aggressive Not Liberal persuasion. My friendship with Rush was going on 20+ years. But times were different then.
Barack “Chicago Jesus” Obama was “organizing” in South Chicago and sitting in Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s pew every Sunday NOT paying attention to Jeremiah’s HATE WHITEY rants.
I don’t recall how Ronnie and I transitioned from “telling State / Duke jokes” to comparing socio-political ideologies. It might have been a new-fangled thingamabob called the Internet and scary mosh pits known as “chat rooms”.
The three most popular topics back then were #1 – What Was The Real Cause of The Civil War … #2 – What Was The Real Cause of The Civil War … and #3 – What Was The Real Cause of The Civil War.
The “States Rights” folks and the “Slavery” folks would cuss and fuss in ALLCAPS from about 7 PM to around 10 or so … then the rubber tips came off the arrows and Ronnie would go into his Trickle-down Economics rant.
My knowledge of “economics” matches my interest in “economics” … little to none. I let him prattle on.
Ronnie would do 90 minutes or so on “Ronald Reagan and Bedtime For Bonzo” then morphs into “How Dumb is George W”. If it all sounds inane and insane … believe me IT WAS!
As I have learned with 98% of the hard-core liberals I’ve encountered … Ronnie considered himself THE Smartest & Generally Superior Person in Every Room He Entered.
ASIDE: Assuming that to be true with 98% of hard-core liberals … imagine 500 or so of the arrogant sumbitches gathered in Barack’s Big Tent on “The Vineyard” and the total confusion as each assumes he / she / it is THE Smartest & Most Sophisticated Faux-Intellectual Liberal Elitist among Barack’s assembled Buddies.
Barack. of course, knows He Is … but he ain’t about to argue the point with Michelle because “Big Mo” outweighs him by 30 lbs. and can kick his skinny butt all the way back to the Cabrini Green Projects in gang war-torn South Chicago.
In those days I was doing contract photography for NASCAR. I had a gig to cover a Dale Jr Fan Club meet in Salisbury. I asked Ronnie if he’d like to come with me and mingle with “the NASCAR crowd”. Without thinking he agreed.
Around Efland it began to dawn on Ronnie that he was going to be totally out of his “comfort zone” BIG TIME. I suggested he go easy on the SAT score and MENSA stuff. He began to sweat.
It was an uneventful evening. Ronnie just stood over in the corner of the gym-torium and prayed to whatever deity liberals pray to that no “good ol’ boys” would give him a wedgie.
I thought about paying a coupla GOBs $10 to walk over to Ronnie and ask him to “squeal like a pig” recreating Ned Beatty’s most famous line from Deliverance. Looking back I wish I had.
Ronnie, of course, preached the old liberal social ideology of “Call it Whatever but it’s still Socialism”. One day I asked him was he planning on standing in breadlines and rationing his daily needs.
Ronnie laughed: “You’re kidding right?”
That’s when Ronnie shared THE BIG LIBERAL SECRET with me.
As a Smart Sophisticated Faux-Intellectual Elitist Ronnie had no doubt that
He would be in The Elite Ruling Class
… chosen for the local Politburo as it were.
“So you’re going to be Commissar of Chatham County huh?”
“Yes, something like that” he replied proudly.
“You goin’ have “a Dacha on The Haw” I asked … paraphrasing every Russian oligarch’s dream of “a Dacha on The Volga”.
At some point Ronnie realized I was having great fun at his arrogant expense. He was right of course. I thought him a totally self-righteous buffoon.
The few gossamer threads that had held our acquaintance together frayed. We went our very separate ways. Ronnie “bought the farm” a few years later.
I’ve wondered – Whatever liberal purgatory “those people” go to …is Ronnie wandering thru Eternity muttering “…have I told you I scored 1537 on SAT when I was 18?“ – and; Did they bury Ronnie with his MENSA key inside or outside his shirt?
If I knew where that rascal was buried I’d go place a red MAGA cap on his grave … HAA!