EUREKA! The Final Solution for UNCCH

SilentSam UNC
BobLee
October10/ 2018

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EUREKA: The Final Solution… for UNC

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If you think this column has ANYTHING to do with UNC FB or MBB… Boy are you going to be disappointed,

So I was having a “catch-up” lunch with a dear friend at Coquettes in Raleigh’s North Hills . It had been waaay too long (several years) so it took us three hours just to hit the high spots of all our topics… both personal and of global impact.

If you were at Coquettes around noon and saw two fellas over in a corner laughing their butts off… that was us. Yes, those two guys wearing Groucho glasses. That’s “incognito”.

Among our shared interests is observing the 24/7 Circus known as UNC-Chapel Hill. We have both been backstage at that 24/7 Circus of Academic Absurdum enough to appreciate what a Faux Intellectual Dumpster Fire it can be.

We discussed (1) UNC’s Latest Celebrity (?) i.e. The Kavanaugh Accuser… (2) the foolishness over Not Kenan The White Supremacist Memorial Stadium and, of course, (3) The Plight of Silent Sam.  Something he said re: SSam triggered a thought for me… I pondered that thought a few minutes and…

EUREKA!  I HAVE THE SOLUTION!

According to The Friends of SSam, the statue was NOT a tribute to “slavery”; but rather a memorial to The Sons of UNC who died in The War Between The States.  OK.

The 100 or so mini-mob of spittle-spewing obscenity-screeching anarchists, of course, say it “celebrates enslavement of black people”.  OK.

What to do ?? If the South Building Wizards of Smarts try to “put SSam back where he was”… SSam WILL be toppled again as soon as the 24/7 Security is relaxed.

Trying to hide SSam anywhere on campus will cause an Anarchists’ Scavenger Hunt to find him and desecrate him again simply “because” that’s what anarchists do.

Anarchists don’t work or contribute squat to society or bathe regularly. Their only purpose is to try to make everyone else’s Life as miserable as theirs.

BobLee’s Eureka Solution is to commission some sort of physical monument or memorial or statuary that…

Honors ALL UNC students and/or faculty who have died in Any and All wars and conflicts since UNC was founded in 1789.

Every war/conflict from War of 1812… WBTS… Spanish Amer… WWI… WW2… Korea… VietNam… all the Middle East stuff… Afghanistan… ad infinitum. Don’t list’em. Just say “all” so the question of Granada doesn’t become an issue.

Men/women/tranys/gays/black/white et al that died in any conflict… even if they choked on a chicken bone at the KFC at Ft Bragg.

The physical structure will NOT be a soldier or involve weapons or “military stuff”. It could be an obelisk or an orb or some weird modern art crap that only the sculptor has a clue – “Man’s Eternal Conflict”… whatever. It will not “glorify War” or the 2nd Amendment or the NRA but:

All UNC students & faculty that died in the service of their country.

Include some Peace Corps kid that got hit by a bus in Mozambique. Don’t list all the names on a plaque. Just say they are in a book in the library. The scroungy anarchists won’t have a clue where that is.

Ship SSam hisownself down to Bentonville Battlefield to spend Eternity with his comrades-in-arms.  NOT with a bunch of feckless snowflakes and scraggly anarchists.

I’ve looked at this BRILLIANT IDEA from every angle and IT WORKS.

I ran it by Blondie.   Her “solution of choice” involves “nuking” all of Orange County and most of Durham too. I’m trying to avoid that if possible. It may not be.

More.

Speaking of UNC CH… surely you saw / heard about “That Ford Woman” AKA The Kavanaugh Accuser (UNC’88) being NOMINATED for a Distinguished UNC Alumni Award. … step back off the ledge. Ford Accuser

LINK…

Being “NOMINATED” simply means some goggle-eyed spittle-spewing Trump-hatin’ nitwit UNCCH alumni wrote a letter suggesting UNCCH oughta do that.

Said “nitwit” made sure WRAL and The N&O got copies of that letter so they could MAKE A REALLY BIG DEAL OF IT… which, of course, they immediately did… DUH!

As of this posting neither UNCCH Chancellor Chihuahua nor any of her minions nor any rich white folks on the UNC BOT have commented on the “nomination” or “if it has effected recruiting”.  Nor do they ever have to except the regional media will hound them to do so.

UNC System Prez “Ma” Spellings nor any rich white folks on the BOG have commented on the “nomination” nor do they have to either.

You or I could “nominate” Marvin Austin, PJ Hairston and Rashad McCants for such a distinguished award. Neither WRAL not The N&O would report it… but Dan Kane would send me an email and we’d share a few laugSuellenEvanshs.

NOTE:  If UNC is looking for a real worthy nominee, I suggest: Suellen Evans – UNC coed murdered in UNC’s Coker Arboretum in July 1965.  Her murder is still unsolved.  To my knowledge no one ran a $1,000,000 GoFundMe for Suellen Evans.  And we know FOR A FACT she actually was murdered.

Ergo… DO NOT burn your UNCCH diploma YET. If you haven’t already burned it over the past 30-40 years, wait a few weeks. FWIW… I misplaced mine 30 years ago and have suffered no ill effects from doing so.

Ms. Prof Ford apparently bragged of having 64 sexual partners thru high school and at UNCCH. Wonder how many of her 64 would show up IF she gets this “distinguished alumni award”?

A classmate of Ford’s says her favorite Franklin Street “pick-up bar” was He’s Not Here. A LOT of “distinguished UNC alumni” might say that.

IF anyone of any influence at UNC-CH does pursue formally honoring a previously totally obscure former UNC student for her part in a Democratic Smear Plot, I will let you know and you can THEN burn your diploma or whatever.

Oh!  I have also suggested that it might help Ms Prof Ford’s nomination if she…

Claims Silent Sam might have assaulted her in 1987 but she’s not sure when, where or if he did or not. “The media” will slobber all over themselves.

Neither WRAL nor The N&O have reported that suggestion of mine either.

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Our delightful 3-hour “catch-up” lunch at Coquettes covered lots of other cool topics too. I encourage everyone to have “catch-up lunches” with old friends… with or without the Groucho glasses.

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Next Time

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BobLee

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UNCBlue
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UNCBlue

Great work BL.
The Shack was gone by the time Ford 64 came to UNC.
I do not doubt some promiscuity by Ford due to lack of info on her but 64 is quite a high number. Would imagine we would have heard more about her if true. I have seen picture of her at SAE house party. No one remembers her though.
Please keep us updated on Ford 64!

Thomas Paine (Common Sense)
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Thomas Paine (Common Sense)

Silent Sam never made any noise until he was toppled by the noise-makers of Hill. My solution is to put it on top of the Bell Tower and see if they can topple the whole thing.

Sheri.75
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Sheri.75

Does Mr. Kennel get his political insights from Joy Behar and Jimmy Kimmel?

58 Wolf Kennel
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58 Wolf Kennel

BL. still haven’t heard any substantiation of Ford 64. I didn’t buy anything hook, line, and sinker; and you don’t have to tell me anything about the Easter Bunny at any age.
Always recognize you have the last word here, but you might be more judicious in expressing it. I guess that is a personal statement, but I have some personal friends brought to your blog who wonder as well.
What did you think of Grizzard’s “Last Confederate Soldier” piece?

NCSU68Grad
Guest
NCSU68Grad

Your update email got lost when ATT threw out my main email PW Good column. I was in Raleigh in 1965. I worked for WRAL. Our crack well placed police reporters knew more about criminal investigations than the Chiefs. Nobody saw anything. Nobody could prove a thing. Memory says that it was a dead end investigation from the get go. Really sad. . Sort of like the pregnant mom N&O carrier killed at the Exxon convenience store across from the Farmers Market. I predict that your GK’s might be blogging about this 70 years from now. . As to “LUCKY… Read more »

Bill
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Bill

Brilliant suggestion for SS. Hope it takes off with the powers that be and just happens. However, even if it does, there is less than a snowball’s chance in hades that I’ll return to my alma mater to see it. Even before learning that Dr. Ford might be honored (which I just learned from you–UNC news in N.O. gets about as much coverage as UNC basketball gets in China), I was not inclined to go there. Now…. . Re the good doctor’s 64 scores: I wondered throughout the Kavanaugh debacle why the GOP didn’t dig up some dirt on her… Read more »

Ed.Danville
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Ed.Danville

Dang it BobLee. Your columns are like peeling an onion. So many layers to peel away. “… chicken bone” …. “Peace Corps boy…” … “Granada…” … “He’s Not Here…”. My wife says she can always tell “you’re reading that BobLee again, aren’t you?”

58 Wolf Kennel
Guest
58 Wolf Kennel

BobLee, good that you have old friends to commiserate your thoughts with. This blog has one good idea (placing Silent Sam so he represents all lives lost in battle or chicken bones) but you somewhat spoil the good idea with total AP inclusions.
Also have never hear the Ford 64 reference or truth. Is that documented somewhere?
Looking forward to the Pack in Death Valley in another week. Know we are good, don’t know if we are yet “elite”.
But hope blooms eternal :>))

Maha
Guest
Maha

BL, I waited tables at Spencer and had just finished and was walking back to campus around the time that happened (the Evans Murder). I must have passed 20 or 30 people in the ARB. How no one saw or heard anything is almost incomprehensible to me. I once thought she was killed elsewhere and then dumped there. Of course the Campus and Chapel Hill cops then weren’t exactly Law and Order. MAHA.

Ashley Overton
Guest
Ashley Overton

With 64 scores she should receive the ” Wilt Chamberlin
Award”. Where the hell was she when I was an undergrad?? Six years on The Hill and barely got a peck on the cheek.

ncsu1987
Guest
ncsu1987

I like the way Blondie thinks, the decisiveness, the finality. . Also, your SS replacement idea is truly brilliant. I hope it gets more attention. Although there is another potential solution: find a home for SS with a private resident on private property who wants him. Hell, auction him off and donate the money to the PJ Hairston legal defense fund. Then, as far as replacement, do absolutely nothing and acknowledge that it’s ok if UNC decides to NOT do something. . Regardless of what is done, the mouth breathers at the far left AND far right won’t like it,… Read more »

Babs.in.Derm
Guest
Babs.in.Derm

I like Blondie’s Plan.

Andrea.82
Guest
Andrea.82

I support both your suggestions for UNC. The SSam Solution truly is BRILLIANT and would be as close to appeasing all sides as possible. Certainly no one will ever appease the scroungy anarchists by the very nature of their purpose in Life. Being miserable and wanting everyone else to share their misery is their purpose.
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Honoring Suellen Evans over Ford 64 is likewise way too common sensible to ever fly. Keep up the good work BobLee.

Mountain.Boy
Guest
Mountain.Boy

Sometimes the things you come up with are downright scary in their relationship to things I mull over. I was a rising sophomore at UNC the summer of ’65 and working in Charlotte as an intern for WSOC-TV news. That murder struck me as bizarre in that it happened in the middle of campus at the Arboretum and nothing ever came of the case. Never go by there that I don’t wonder about it.

DM Carpenter
Guest
DM Carpenter

At first blush, Blondie’s idea is good, but the downwind fallout issue is problematic. How about we build a wall around that territory. The UN can drop supplies of kale, soymilk, Starbucks…

Doug
Guest
Doug

Getting sloshed on PBR’s at the The Shack might have led the future Dr Ford to do some late night kinky things with SS. Deviate behavior as it was defined back in 1987 is apparently mainstream for many in 2018. Nike, Just Do it, as long as it offends conservatives.

PS: The Shack might have closed before 87 but as long we’re forgetting everything else except it was 64 and BK did it, so nothing else matters. IMO your SS suggestion is too sensible to be seriously considered in CH.

Da Judge in Charlotte
Guest
Da Judge in Charlotte

As for me, the UNC from which I received two degrees no longer exists, and Chapel Hill is just another town along Highway 54.

TarHeel69
Guest
TarHeel69

As to the “nomination”, and as previously stated, once “Bully Barber” received a “Genius” Grant, I knew that all things are possible….

OldWellGuy.Charlotte
Guest
OldWellGuy.Charlotte

BL: I have finally learned my lesson. Every time I see or read that my alma mater (UNC) has / or might do something incredibly stupid, I remind myself that BobLee is going to guide me thru the chaos… and you always do. And you’ve done it again. I did see that crap about Ford… and I KNEW you would clear a path thru it. I know you can’t necessarily stop the stupid crap but you show me how to laugh my way thru it. Thank you.

Lobo
Guest
Lobo

“even if they choked on a chicken bone at the KFC at Ft Bragg.”
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Internet Gold.