CHAOS …Confusion & “That Guy”

Confused
BobLee
December04/ 2016

CHAOS … CONFUSION … Life Is Good!!   ‘Tis the season for CHAOS! Here at BobLeeSays.com we celebrate those special occasions when the easily discombobulated morph into the totally unhinged. For better or worse, such occasions seem to be ever-increasing as society moves quite perceptibly closer to The Abyss.

Today we offer our incredibly insightful opinions on:

• The College Football Playoffs
• The Notre Dame Wristslap vis a vis UNC’s TGU
• UNC Basketball’s mysterious “That Guy”….

By the time many/most of you read this, the Football Final Four will be Official and the formal fussin’ and cussin’ will be underway from sea to shining sea. If who got in and who didn’t get in REALLY matters to you (…and you know who you are) you likely have (1) never waited anxiously for a biopsy result for yourself or a loved one…. or (2) as a parent, never received a last night phone call beginning with “Are you the parents of …….?”

Weighing the relative merits of the 6-8 possibilities for The Final Four is a waste of time because “it is OBVIOUS who they should be”. YOU know who they should be, don’t you?  Of course, you do. “The Committee” knows too but it’s members are ….. drumroll ….. crooked and/or “on the take” and HATE (fill in Michigan, PennState, Oklahoma, USC, …. Western Michigan ??). Shreveport

Speaking of North Carolina State University…. Dave Who’s Fighting Wuffs will be HEADED TO SHREVEPORT to play Vanderbilt.  I SWEAR I had nothing to do with that.   Get your nickels ready for those loose slots in the Bossier City casino and the gumbo at Denny’s.

Meanwhile The Fedorians are headed to El “freakin’ Paso and Stanford in The Sun Bowl.  At least a dozen UNC Football Faithful are expected to say they might go.  I hear the Donkey Show in Ciudad Juarez is a humdinger….

Ain’t Bowl Season Grand ???

The way they do The Playoffs now is just fine. It has created the current CHAOS and what greater good could there be? BUT, if I was consulted to tweak the current system I DO have a few awesome suggestions.

Do away with Super Conference “Divisions”. OR, even better…. reduce Super Conferences to a maximum of Ten teams. If you need me to handle that reduction / realignment, I can do so but I will charge for it. A 10-team conference means a full round-robin each season in each conference (nine games) plus three OOC games (only one of which can be “a cupcake”).

“Divisions” are both stoopid and ridiculous. Admittedly it is fun to watch my Wuff friends “go postal” over how UNFAIR it is for them in whichever division they are in in the ACC. The stoopid Divisions created the helluva mess in The Big Ten this year.

No divisions eliminates the stoopid Conference Championship Games which belong wherever “they” put the unitard. Use the current Conference Championship Weekend to play the opening round of an Eight Team Playoff.   Remember, we split the Super Conferences into smaller ten team units…. The Power Five becomes the Power Six/Eight or so under My Plan.

Had My Plan been in effect this year…. Yesterday would have been the Quarterfinal Round of The Playoff and we would now have a month to await the Semi-Final and Finals…. The Quarterfinals would be played on one of the campuses of one of the teams. NOT a million miles away in some stoopid place where Transgenders can pee in peace and half the half-filled stadium is filled with “freebees” given to homeless guys in Orlando.

Having the opening round in early December keeps those players who never went to class because they were in their last season of eligibility and/or knew they were going pro from being “ineligible” once the Fall Semester is over in mid-December. THIS is a much bigger deal than any board monkey ever considers.

The four teams eliminated in this early Quarterfinal Round are still eligible for “a bowl”.

I am skipping over a lot of detail minutiae because I need to get to Notre Dame / TGU / UNCBB’s “That Guy”. But, trust me, I have worked out those minute detailPatrinos.

One special rule I insist upon is NO TEAM being coached by Bobby Petrino is EVER eligible for The Playoffs… whether that is Louisville or wherever he slithers off to next. IMO Petrino is even more unacceptable than Art “I didn’t know nuthin’ bout no rapes” Briles; but not by much.

I might do a more detailed explanation of all this later on. That depends on how many of you think you have a better plan and insist on sharing it with us. …. and you know who you are.

***

OK…. I am assuming you know all about The NCAA recently ordering Notre Dame to forfeit all it’s FB W’s in 2012 and 2013 because a student trainer (a she-AfAm) did the classwork for a group of Notre Dame FBers. There was no evidence whatsoever that ND Admins knew about this “cheating” or condoned it or “looked the other way” but it has been verified as taken place. The players involved were dismissed and/or suspended from school.

Is “what happened at/to Notre Dame” relevant to UNC’s Great Unpeasantness? Yes…. and Not particularly.

FB players received illegal assistance in their academics…. which affected their eligibility. BUT…. No ND admins or faculty or staff are implicated.

The NCAA imposed “punishment” – forfeiting W’s for two seasons – might sound “harsh” but in reality is inconsequential. No “banners” are involved. No $$$ fine is imposed. No coaches are fired. It is the equivalent of “community service” or “say three Hail Marys and light a few candles”.

For those of you who are 7-8 year members of the TGU Lynch Mob…. Would you be satified if UNC simply “forfeits W’s” for X seasons? Even the incessant droning of “tear down the banners” is, at the end of the day meaningless.

The obnoxious UNC fans you so despise with every fiber of your being will never admit to whatever that “forfeiting” is suppose to mean. There would be no “perp walk” or being publicly pilloried and assaulted with rotting produce.

A large $$$$ fine has no Sense of Satisfaction for ABCers. Lets say $20,000,000. A handful of UNC hedge fund guys would ante it up…. launder it thru some bogus “foundation” and VIOLA …. Done & Done. Chancellor Chihuahua and the rest of The Little Rascals in South Building would never feel a thing.

“laundering $$$ thru a bogus Foundation” ??? Geee, where have we heard about THAT over the past six months ???

What happened with Notre Dame only means The NCAA is not afraid to penalize A Juggernaut… however meaningless the penalty.

UNCBB’s “That Guy” Revealed….Eric Hoots

This past week “That Damn” Dan Kane added a new name to the cast of characters of TGU – Eric Hoots. I don’t “know” Eric Hoots.  I met him once 5-6 years ago. Eric gave me, and a UNC BOT / Fat Cat of some renown, a guided tour of UNC BB’s Inner Sanctum.

Based on that brief encounter and what I have read about Eric Hoots…. He is “That Guy” that every big time Juggernaut MBB / FB program has. Nick and Urban and Calipari and Coach K and even Dabo all have “an Eric Hoots” on their staff. I’m sure Jimmy V had a “That Guy” back in his day.

A “That Guy” in any organization is a jack-of-all-trades who does whatever needs doing. Think Radar O’Reilly in MASH.   He is a whirling dervish scurrying about “picking up dry cleaning”…. “getting cars detailed”….et al. Think a concierge at a luxury hotel.  A “That Guy” has a golden rolodex of who to call for whatever needs doing. His official title will be bureaucratic jibberish. “That Guy” is “a fixer”.

Dan’s story noted that Eric Hoots makes $100,000/year to be UNCBB’s “That Guy”. YIKES!!!! Back in the day… a “That Guy” slept on a cot in the team’s equipment room and – maybe – got to eat at the players’ training table. It looks like “a That Guy” career pays a lot better than 90% of the bogus PC-degrees at UNCCH.

I have no clue how involved, if at all, Eric Hoots was/is with The Eligibility Scam run thru UNC’s AfAm Studies Dept for however many years. No idea what he knows. If Eric Hoots is like most “That Guys”…. Dan Kane and The NCAA goons can waterboard him and stick needles in his eyes and he AIN’T GONNA TALK.

I did notice that when That Damn Dan’s latest story ran…. The Franklin Street Chapter of The We Really Hate Dan Kane Society turned out immediately in full obscenity-spewing force.  UNC’s self-acclaimed award-winning TGU documentarian – “Buzby Berkley” ?? “Beetle Bailey” ?? Whatever… has restated his intense disapproval of Dan.  Whatever that means.

When all this mess started, Lane Kiffin was head coach of The Oakland Raiders…. OUCH!

###

BobLee
  • E. Slake Reply
    3 months ago

    Bob, Off Topic. Your comment on strong possibility that Donald Trump will appoint Mike Krzyzewski the Director of the newly formed Dept. of Transgender Affairs.
    Old Army

    • BobLee Reply
      3 months ago

      Which issue of Huffington Post did you read that one? Or was it Daily Kos? … or ABC News? Mike won’t take the pay cut.

  • Reese Edwards Reply
    4 months ago

    I would wager TGU is really a race among three challengers:
    1) The NCAA delivers its final decision
    2) Dan Kane retires before the final chapter
    3) The N&O declares bankruptcy and we have to all write our own ending

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      4) Hell freezes over.

      Depending on that illusive “final decision”, will IT ever truly “be over”?

      • NCSU68Grad Reply
        4 months ago

        I’m with #4. I have a book “All Corvettes are RED”. The Author started writing it when his child was in the 2nd grade. It was to be about the “development” of the C5 Vette. Turns out it was a chronicle of GM’s power struggles during the late 80’s and mid 90’s. He got a divorce and his child graduated from high school BEFORE he finally finished it. It is considered to be one of the best written histories of how GM started to decline. He died a few years ago….should have done a sequel on how Obama “Saved” GM….RIGHT!!!!

        Suggest that Dan Kane keep working on his manuscript. The folly and the various side shows would make for great reading. I can just see the signing at Quail Ridge….complete with RED Kool-Aid….

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          Mary Whistleblower & Jay were a big hit at Quail Ridge with their book. I’m sure Dan’s would be “hotcakes”. No clue how Art’s is doing.

  • TarSpartan Reply
    4 months ago

    My house is 555 miles from the Sun Bowl, and all but 10 of those are I-10. I’m *thinking* about going, but haven’t yet made up my mind. It’s not a money issue (while not a Fat Cat alumni, I’ve done OK in 20 years since graduation), but a “do I feel like driving eight hours each way to watch UNC lose a middle-of-the-road-bowl to a team I don’t care about” issue. Realistically, I am about the closest to a local fan that UNC will get for this game, and I’m on the fence. I wonder if they’ll have to tarp off the upper decks in El Paso?

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      PLUS…. I was sent a recent story about Juarez being a target city for random cartel violence. Not even Christian McCafferty AND the donkey show is worth getting caught in a cartel gun war.

      • TarSpartan Reply
        4 months ago

        Juarez is pretty nasty, but El Paso is relatively OK. It’s amazing what a difference being on the correct side of the fence and next door to Fort Bliss and White Sands Missile Range makes.

        On the other hand, there are stretches of I-10 where you can see across the border, and there is a *big* difference.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          I am not a proponent of “A Wall” but I am in favor of much more aggressive tactics to stem illegal immigration.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    4 months ago

    I thought that Agent Pierce was subbing for you when I saw the title. President Elect Trump (what a wonderful ring to that…) has appointed General Jim “Mad Dog” Mattis as Secretary of Defense. Once you get past the visual on that, NO ONE WAS ALLOWED to call him Mad Dog, even his highest ranking staff members. His Radio Call Sign was “CHAOS”, in that his battlefield strategies often resulted in “Chaos” amongst his opponents….strange factoids come out when you respond at ungodly hours.

    As to Shreveport, it IS what it IS. Based on the secret bylaws hidden in the “Undisclosed Bunker” under Amedeo’s, the 11 commandment (article?) is. “Ye shall NOT fire a coach that beat UNC, regardless of how bad the season”. AD Yow will eventually get her own “booth”, therefore, she had to respect the rules. The UNC win, right, wrong, or indifferent, DEFUSED the IED set for Coach Doeren’s Pick Up. .

    The recorded attendance for NCSU’s 1963 Liberty Bowl in JFK stadium where the game time temperature was 15 Degrees (F) was about 1000. That included both bands and the teams. At last count, only 471 of us are still living. The Independence Bowl may be a fitting memorial to those who have went before us. It is what it is.

    Most folks, as you did, thought Coach DD from wherever was history and the NCSU Physical Plant already had a work order to remove his name plate on Monday. They guy DID show up (on Thursday….PP is always LATE) and Coach Doeren had to print out AD Yow’s “Statement” so he could staple it to his work order….

    There was a brief celebration in Wolfville, as the mighty Doeren got on base due to a passed ball (or maybe was mortally wounded by an errant pitch). The game was actually a “Lose-Lose” as in the HAT ain’t leaving and we ain’t getting a new head guy. After the small hangover from the UNC Victory Celebration (toasting the RED BATHED Bell Tower at Midnight with a full bottle of Crown Royal) wore off….you realized that the creature beside you was Madonna….without makeup….and you had to get Coach Doeren to gnaw off HER arm to leave. Since MOST NCSU folks did NOT vote for HRC, then she probably did NOT not have to fulfill her Pre-Election promise and wanted the free Crown’s.

    We have moved on….and are now more concerned about the Grand Theft recently discovered in the Curtis and Jacqueline Dail Basketball Complex. It seems that Bobby Lutz pilfered our Defense and took it with him when he left…..sort of like WJC and HRC looting the WH when they left in 2001….No word if the Wake County DA will drop the charges if he returns it…

    Having traveled to El Paso a few times when I was contributing to that “Great Sucking Sound” and employing a developer and architect to “build me a Mexican plant”, I don’t remember anything particularly outstanding about it. It is really the FIRST Sanctuary City….so the UNC lot will feel right at home and will probably hold votive candle ceremonies. No word if the Rev Bully will be there to bless it.
    All I recall is eating a few times at “The State Line BBQ”. That was supposedly THE PLACE to eat. Wonder if the Whine and Cheese Crowd will need reservations? This AIN’T dad gummed Hawaii….so don’t except a sea of light blue in the sparsely filled stadium.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I can’t imagine “large traveling contingents” of either local fan bases to S-port or EP.

  • Jeannie Motley Reply
    4 months ago

    Just give Bama the National title…we’ve earned it! Then you can move on to ACC/Tarheel BBall!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Nick vs Urban will be a “pick’em” based on their last meeting.

  • BobLee Reply
    4 months ago

    NOTE: To our ECU readers …. Former Pinecrest HS and ECU alum – Seth Maness – was released by the St Louis Cardinals this past week. Hopefully Seth can catch on with another club. He is coming off of elbow surgery so somewhat of a gamble. … MLB pitchers are like thoroughbred race horses… once they injure their arm they never regain full strength. Fortunately Seth is not a “power pitcher”. … From all reports Seth is a really good kid.

    • Doug Reply
      4 months ago

      Dec 4. Two days of infamy for ECU. The anniversary of Ruff’s termination in 2015 and the anniversary of the UCF 51 yard Hail Mary TD pass in 2014.

      • BobLee Reply
        4 months ago

        The glory days of Ruff and young Lincoln fade into the fog of yesteryear…. ☹️

  • Doug Reply
    4 months ago

    “That Guy” is actually pretty cheap and neither do I think he’s at the top of the NCAA money fixer pyramid.

    I’m with you on Petrino and Briles.

    IMO the current system needs NO fixing. As you say, it’s a wonderful vessel for madness and mayhem and disgruntled schools and fans, chaos, anarchy, BM exploding heads, coaches wining, pundits punditing. Who the Hell wants clean or neat and tidy or something that makes for perfect sense? It would be boring. Who’d watch boring? Four is good, as is. That means 5,6,7, & 8 are pissed and raising Cain. If, say, 24 teams, or name a number, were included than means 25, 26, 27………well, you know. Bitching & moaning is lucrative business for The World-Wide Leader and the lesser networks apparently. The more bitching & moaning there is, the better business is. When business flattens out, start teasing the audience (they’ll bite) with a 8 team debate bait to get them another feeding frenzy. That’ll work and can help them survive for maybe a decade or until Skipper, or likely his successor, figures out the pesky cable cutter and other issues.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Plus the likelihood of John Skipper (UNC75) asking for my opinion gets less likely by the hour. Controversy Sells for sure. Every ill wind blows someone’s sails …

  • JD Reply
    4 months ago

    Eric Hoots = Ray Donovan

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      YIKES! I doubt Eric Hoots carries a baseball bat in the trunk of his Prius. But maybe …. 🙂

    • NCSU68Grad Reply
      4 months ago

      Eric Hoots may be the modern day Lt. Cmd. Charlie Madison (played by James Garner) from “The Americanization of Emily”. Your typical “Scrounger”. If so, then obviously Roy Williams would be Rear Admiral William Jessup. Obviously, Truth (UNC) is stranger than Fiction….

  • Perry.Ohio Reply
    4 months ago

    Our team’s “That Guy” was actually nicknamed “Radar” after R O’Reilly of MASH. And he was exactly as you described him. I think UNC has the ONLY $100,000 “That Guy” though. YIKES!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      The $100,000 thing caused a “WHOA” when I first read it. The Legendary Burgess McSwain (Deb Crowder’s partner-in-scam) worked for peanuts.

  • Gary'86 Reply
    4 months ago

    You had nothing to do with State going to Shreveport ?? Really? Do you really expect anyone to believe that. I hear when Frau got the call she muttered “Damn that BobLee….”

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I am not responsible for what Frau Yow thinks. I can’t say I was unhappy with the news… I do lead a charmed life in many ways. 🙂

      • DrVinnyboombatz Reply
        4 months ago

        TGU has exposed UNC Athletics, UNC Administration, The Rams Club, UNC BOT and UNC System BOG for BOTH WHO and WHAT they are.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          DrVinny: That’s a lot of “exposing”. Too many individuals have been involved in this inglorious mess over the years to say “how might it have been handled differently?” but it certainly SHOULD HAVE been handled differently.
          .
          I maintain that at ground zero of all of it was/is the quite eerie sacred reverence that way too many UNCers had/have for the infallibility of Dean Smith. That ANYTHING untoward could have taken place within his empire was simply unthinkable. To what degree he was involved we may never know… but we do know that skullduggery aplenty did indeed take place “on his watch”. Way too many simply cannot/will not accept that. … sigh.

          • DrVinnyboombatz
            4 months ago

            I agree completely. There are 20 days until Christmas so this analogy should go well. These same adults in their 50’s, 60’s or 70’s that still hold fast to believing the “Carolina Way”and Saint Dean, got over it pretty fast when they learned the truth about Saint Nicholas, when they were ages 5,6 or 7. I see that some will never be able to handle the truth when it all comes out. It may take a while for it to happen with all of the stonewalling that takes place in Orange County. Dan Kane WILL see this story through to the finish.

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