San Andreas Fault is Locked & Loaded!

San Andreas
May07/ 2016

America’s Favorite Fault – slightly ahead of porn, gluttony, and “Real Housewives reality shows” – The San Andreas Fault – is, experts are now saying, “Locked, Loaded & Ready”.

Simply a geological coincidence – OR – fulfillment of an “or else” destiny noted in an obscure chapter of Revelation?

Let’s check Today’s Headlines:Pat Paulsen

  • Come next January, either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton will hold the Executive Order pen & The Nuclear Trigger.   Out of 300,000,000, these two are “the best we got” ??  Where are Harold Stassen and Pat Paulsen when we REALLY need them?
  • The self-proclaimed “Dartmouth of The South” perpetrates a 20-year athle-academ scam so pervasive in scope that it exceeds the wildest imagination of them what governs such things…. so the haughty perps “might” scamper merrily away to perpetrate again with naught but a quizzical “You got away with WHAT?”
  • The Cubs’ “Magic Number” to clinch the National League pennant is 126, and it’s not even Mother’s Day yet.
  • London elects a Radical Muslim as it’s Lord Mayor.  How long before Kate, Pippa and Queen Liz are wearing burkas?  Oliver Cromwell, Henry The 8th, Winston Churchill and Mick Jagger beseech JK Rowling to “do something”.   Maybe Harry Potter could challenge The Prophet Mohammed to a Winner Take All Game of Quidditch?
  • Less than 3% (at most) of America’s population – with the full support of the tattered remnants oDr Moreauf The 4th Estate – intends to turn North America into The Continent of Dr Moreau overrun by more aberrational genders than Carter has little liver pills.  A George Romero B-movie comes alive.  Barack Obama threatens to “outlaw the urinal” and place Caucasian heteros on the No Fly List…. fulfilling his 2008 campaign promise to Get Rid of Those Bitter Clingers.

Ergo…. why should anyone be surprised that our most famous Fault – The San Andreas – appears Locked / Loaded  & Ready to Rock & Roll.


The Eternal Question:  Will America End (1) by Mega-Quake… (2) by Super Volcano… (3) by Plummeting Asteroid… or (4) by Excessive Political Correctness?

My favorite has always been #2 The Yellowstone Caldera.  “Oddsmakers” favor #4.

If San Andreas’ Giant Hiccup reaches double digits on The Richter it could trigger Yellowstone which would then dump 18” of deadly volcanic ash across the ¾ of America that has not already broken off and fallen into the Pacific…. before the remake of Baywatch can be released.  Thereby negating (1) The Big 12 actually becoming “a Big 12″… or (2) the NL adopting the Designated Hitter.

Buy “green bananas” at your own risk.


Check Out The New Quirkies….

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