Half A League Onward into the Breach of ’15!

January01/ 2015

Ahhh, the glorious potential of a brand New Year.  A pristine canvas awaiting multitudes of clever brushstrokes culminating in endless exclamations of “I Told You So”.

As in centuries of pristine canvases past, humanity shall persist in its noble quest to reinvent wheels and to cram square pegs into round holes.  Followed as the night the day, by bellowing laments of shadowy conspiracies and bureaucratic bunglings preventing said quest to successfully cram.

“Half a league.  Half a league.  Half a league onward…..”  Once more into the Breach of Human Foolishness we ride.

All due respect to Al Tennyson and his Crimean War epic on that “half a league” stuff.   You all did recognize that….. didn’t you?  No…. sigh?

Plans aplenty to tweak Ye Olde Website in the days and weeks to come.  Not to worry though.  We shall most certainly continue to beat the same long-dead horses we have beaten so often for so long under the Danka Schoen Protocol.

Wayne Newton has sung Danke Schoen in every show continually since 1963.   That we shall continue covering UNC’s Great Unpleasantness for over 50 years is doubtful, but don’t bet against it.  At least until something even more convolutedly absurd occupies such a high % of regional curiosity.

The Bowls….  Next November we will again lampoon Christmas In Shreveport / Detroit as the annual “bowl eligible” countdown begins, as it surely will.   If there was any doubt, this article confirms that “way too many silly bowls” will likely lead to EVEN MORE silly bowls if ESPN has anything to say….. and they do. LINK.

WHOA!!!  Seminoles on Trail Of Tears.  THAT was NASTY!

A seven hour stretch on December 26 was all that mattered here at Ground Zero, but now that “the really good teams” are playing each other, the watchability of the games amps up considerably for the rest of America.   Conference partisans are now in hand-to-hand combat proclaiming their obvious dominance via statistical sleights-of-hand.

Michigan State vs Baylor was a HUMDINGER!

In Norman, the annual Stoops Roast is underway.   As Stoops’ Sooners were walloped by the Fighting Dabos, I thought (and tweeted) of Dick Crum’s Lament.   Is the chasm ‘tween UNC and Oklahoma actually narrowing despite ever-growing concern that the Fedorians may not exactly be on a fast track to any place they want to be.   Using A > B > C > D ergo A > D, UNC beat GaTech beat MissState beat Auburn beat K-State beat OU…. ergo UNC beats OU.   Take THAT Dick Crum!

My Tweet on Crum’s Lament got retweeted to over 40,000 Tweeties.   Wonder how many Marvin’s tweet reached? My quest to become a Twitter Legend is officially underway.   Better FOLLOW me, ya hear.

Down in Athens, the annual Richt Roast was postponed until his first 3 & out next Fall.    Betcha didn’t know that Bo Schembechler NEVER won a National Chmp at Michigan.   Speaking of which….

Harbaugh $$$$$ …. every February the pointyheads that control public education in America declare Black History Month which, best I can figure, is like another Kwanzaa thingy.  Kwanzaa being a Reparational Holiday celebrating Al Sharpton’s dramatic weight loss….. or Oprah’s.  Whichever.   Anyhoo, every February a bevy of someones screams “How come we don’t have a White History Month?”  THAT annual retort is way more predictable than Paxutawny Phil’s weather forecast which also takes place in February coincidentally. ……. in aJim-Harbaugh-640-395-Michigan-Hired-Press-Conference similar vein:

Every time a coach, like Jim Harbaugh, gets Rap Star MEGA-BUCKS to coach college FB or BBall someones post indignantly a comparison of the average salaries of professors, provosts and chancellors.   Then someones volleys back that “100,000 people don’t pay $50/each to watch a provost do whatever a provost does….”.    That predictable scenario reoccurred this week as Prodigal Son Jim Harbaugh returned to Ann Arbor.

Like comparisons?  Try this.   The average salaries of “Coordinators” in Power Five Conferences is now greater than their Chancellors.   Don’t think Bill Friday would like that much at all.

Ever notice that when a “next messiah” is introduced at any college, no matter what mundane cliques he mutters, those in attendance smile and nod in bobblehead anticipation of all the victories certain to come?  “He’s THE ONE….. ABSOLUTELY….. the sleeping giant is AWAKE NOW!”

Ever wondered “Does Nick Saban text, or e-mail, or Google?” ….. No – LINK.

“Following college recruiting” ranks one notch ahead of “sniffing bicycle seats” in the pantheon of Worthwhile Human Endeavors.   That adult bi-peds do either explains a great deal about a great deal…..  Recruiting addicts are the equivalent of 14 y/o girls who know the names of all the Kardashians’ pets.

I mention that because apparently all is now hunky-dory again on Franklin Street.   Oh sure, accreditation is still “in peril” (like who cares? Really.) and Little Carol is supposedly trying to fire Jan Boxill but she can’t “because”….. and there’s that “toxic locker room thing” and…. and   BUT: Not to worry Bunky…..

Ol’ Roy has done gone and signed Raymond Felton’s nephew…. sort of, maybe.   No, not for next year.  No, not for the year after that.  For 2017.   The sky is C-Blue again because some little 15 y/o kid in PossumHollow South Carolina has proclaimed “I’m coming…. three years from now, probably”.   It’s hat & horns and backflips…. free biscuits at Time Out ….. Take THAT Dan Kane. All of which, as noted, explains a great deal about a great deal.

“Half a league.  Half a league.  Half a league onward…..”
Once more into the Breach of Human Foolishness we ride.


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