The Umpteenth Faux Report of His Demise

July29/ 2013

Samuel Clemens had nothing on El Rushbo when it comes to “greatly exaggerated reports of my demise”. With Sam (aka Mark Twain) it was once. With Rush it’s been several times /year for the past twenty plus years. When Clemens’ yacht was reported missing at sea in 1907 it is unclear if 1000s of media weasels immediately broke into a chicken dance.

With Rush, the aforementioned weasels’ reaction is positively Pavlovian and (hehehehe) always exaggerated and forever premature. …….

I first wrote the following lines back in the mid-90s. I find it worth repeating every few years.

….. At some point, probably between 2020 and 2025, Rush Limbaugh will decide to switch off “the golden microphone” and retire after well over 30 years as “the most listened-to radio talk show host in the history of Planet Earth”. (Yes, he passed Paul Harvey many years ago.) Within five minutes 10s of thousands of beady-eyed liberals will snort in unison – “I’ve told you for 30+ years he wouldn’t last.” ???
Sigh, such is the plight of anyone who DARES to point out the baseless flimflammery of liberal ideology. Who dares to expose extreme liberalism for the shameful sham that it is. Especially anyone who dares to do so on 600+ radio stations, five days/week, three hours/day for going on 30 years to an average weekly audience of 20,000,000. Sigh, sob, sniff. …. BWAHAHAHA!

Well, HERE THEY GO AGAIN…… the cackling, snorting and chicken-dancing coming from those dank and odious hovels inhabited by liberal media vermin is all about the BIG NEWS that Cumulus Radio and Rush’s syndication firm – Premiere Media – have been unable to negotiate a new contract. Cumulus and Premiere will be parting company when their current contract expires in December. Happens all the time in business…. and in sports where players / teams part company when new contracts are being negotiated and impasses are reached. FWIW…. Rush makes more than ARod or Dwight Howard. Yep!

Rush (and Sean Hannity) are both repped by the same syndication firm – Premiere. Premiere is a subsidiary of radio behemoth Clear Channel Communications. Rush has for 20+ years commanded the highest syndication fees in the history of radio. Fees are determined by Arbitron which has long been the industry standard for the on-going listener appeal of specific radio personalities. It is a purely quantitative measure and not influenced by subjective “like” of a personality or his politics.

I, personally, don’t “like” Howard Stern but he commands mega-bucks on Sirius Radio because a lot of listeners DO like him. It’s the same with Rush and Sean and Glenn Beck and whatever uber-liberal hosts are still on the air. Are there still any?

The radio universe is a tad larger than the beady-eyed inhabitants of Carrboro or Berkley or Harvard Yard or the personal preferences of a Laura Leslie, a Barry “The Colonel” Saunders or even of yours truly.

Remember, my friends, the liberal media weasels consider 1,200 scraggly malcontents led by a bloviating demagogue to be an overwhelming majority of NC citizens ….. huh? The mind reels how “they” describe 20,000,000 Rush listeners for 25 years and counting.

The CEO of Cumulus is a shady Boss Tweed character named Lew Dickey who’s mismanagement of Cumulus during the on-going national economic hiccup has his irate stockholders “looking for a rope”. Several months ago, looking for somewhere to hide his own incompetence, Lew set this current impasse in motion by publicly blaming his blunders on Rush calling Sandra Fluke “a slut”.

NOTE: I always thought “publicity whore” woulda been better for Ms Fluke. In his on-air stream of consciousness, Rush failed to check with me. A live mic can be deadlier than “carrying nitrogycerine down a cobblestone road in a pick-up truck with bad shocks”. NO ONE has delivered more provocative “nitro” to more people for more years than El Rushbo….. and he’s still the best there’s ever been at doin’ it.

Dickey knew months ago that he (Cumulus) could not afford the going rate for Rush and Sean in the upcoming new contract. He was hoping his publicity stunt would intimidate Premiere to come down on their syndication fees. It didn’t work any better than Lew’s other business blunders over the past several years. Premiere did not blink. Bye bye Cumulus……

Similar, but far less publicized, circumstances have happened regularly with Rush’s 600+ affiliates over 25 years. Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, New Orleans and even in Raleigh among other major markets. In EVERY case, Premiere immediately moves Rush to another station in that market. Often one owned by Clear Channel. Rush’s incredibly loyal and LARGE audience quickly refigure their radio pre-sets and never skip a beat of THE most recognized bumper music intro in the history of radio! Exactly what will be occurring in Cumulus’ markets as this contract expires.

When Rush began in 1988, his affiliates were usually AM stations. He is universally recognized as “saving AM radio”; or at least extending its life an additional 15-20 years. Alas, technology over 25 years proved too daunting and the gradual switch to stronger FM signals has been an on-going objective to better serve Rush listeners. Exactly what will occur this time.

The beady-eyed lib weasels will cackle and snort for a few days as they always do…… and El Rushbo will take a deep drag on a very expensive cigar and just smile….. just as he has been doing for 25+ years.

But…. But…. But…. they said he’d never last.


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