Does God Flip A Coin?

July10/ 2013

How does God decide whom He will let win a ballgame when both sports teams have active FCA chapters? Like a father having to declare a favorite child or a food critic declare his favorite barbecue joint?…..

Apparently that is the quandary He is now faced with on Mondays in Raleigh. “Reverend Bill” seems convinced that he has Him firmly in his pocket. Who knew?

I am not a Biblical scholar. I CAN recite the twelve tribes of Israel. At one point, I could recite all the books of the Bible…. both testaments. These days I stumble a bit around Titus and Philemon.

Growing up Southern Baptist, I answered an altar call and “was fully immersed”. I was old enough to know the significance then and have reaffirmed that decision on numerous occasions since.

I am confident my ticket is punched for The Hereafter but I guess we never know for sure until that moment. I might encounter a few Democrats “up there” but I am confident there won’t be nearly as many of’em as I deal with down here. Yeah verily I confess to the occasional back-slide.

I have been a member of a number of churches even serving as deacon and “on the session” et al of 3-4. I’ve stood in pulpits “sharing my faith”. Heck, I currently attend a weekly Men’s Bible Fellowship….. driving 50 mile round trip to do so.

I was once on a bowling team named The Holy Rollers and I had the highest on-base % on our church softball team three years running.

All the above to establish my “cred” when discussing “Whose Side is God on?”

Reverend Barber and his bunch seem convinced they have Him firmly on their side in this current “crusade” against the Republican infidels. BECAUSE…. Reverend Barber says so. That’s kind of arrogant and cheeky. Hey, Bill Barber is an arrogant and cheeky kinda guy.

It’s been said…. There are no athiests in fox holes and in ICUs. I’ll add…. and darn few if any at a Tea Party gathering. Can the same be said of an ACLU board meeting? Or of a meet of the NC GenAssem Minority Caucus….. or of the Carrboro Anarchists ‘R Us club?

Is wearing a funny hat the only requirement for an AfAm matron to get right with God? Chapter and verse of that one please.

Brother Barber sure can pound a pulpit like…. Jeremiah Wright. And we all remember what an awesome holy man Brutha Jeremiah was. Brother Barber pounds away and judging from that YouTube being circulated, his flock sure does respond to his spirited orations. I even saw Gene Nichol waving his arms and shouting Halleluiah. Who’s next – Bart Ehrmann?

Blind devotion from goggle-eyed disciples not viewed since Jonestown with the tubs of Kool-Aid. OUCH!

I make it a habit not to question another man’s “religion”. I’ve never been that comfortable being “a fisher of men”. If Brother Bill wants to condemn me to Eternal Hell for being a Republican that’s his right. If he wants to kiss a snake and scream in unknown tongues, he can do that too.

“The unchurched” delight in decrying all the hypocrites who sit in pews every Sunday. Every congregation has its share of members who see their fellow congregates as potential purchasers of insurance, real estate, automobiles and, yes, voters in upcoming elections. Some even scout the assemblage for romantical opportunities. NO!!

Will I see all my fellow pew-sitters in that aforementioned Hereafter? How many of Brother Barber’s Monday Mini-Multitude might I run into “up yonder”? I don’t know. Will Bill hisownself be there? Not a decision I will be involved in. Nor does Reverend Billy get “a vote” in my eternal disposition. Good thing.

As a Conservative Republican, I’m not among Bill’s “chosen people” at all. “Folks like me” are headed to eternal damnation because….. again, because Brother Bill says so.

Bill Barber is a flim-flamming shyster but he’s not stupid. I cringe when I read references to him that misunderestimate his cleverness. Barber knows exactly what he is doing and how he can keep getting away with it. Like every fast-talking salesman Barber KNOWS HIS CUSTOMERS. He plays his Halifax Mall congregation like YoYo Ma playing a cello.

NOTE: That was the first time Bill Barber has ever been compared to YoYo Ma, or vice versa.

In 1611, when King Jimmy’s men put together that Bible version that bears his name, they collected the writing of centuries of theological scholars. Those of us of the Christian persuasion are convinced that process was Divinely inspired. Part of the wonder of the Bible is its apparent ambiguity to many. That the Bible can be “open to interpretation” is an understatement of the level that Noah’s Flood was a summer shower.

Men and women waving a Bible as a stage prop commit all kinds of questionable acts. Have for years. Brother Barber is hardly the first, or the last, to claim he is doing God’s work. Jim & Tami Faye….. Jim Jones….. David Koresh….. The Inquisition….. et al .

….Billy Graham. That icon that McClatchy’s N&O reporters and columnists so trashed and reviled last summer for daring to express a personal opinion in concert with Conservative ideology.

The same McClatchy N&O reporters / editor / publisher that are now in lock-step support of Bill Barber’s self-declared high-volume Holy War against the NC General Assembly. If there was ever a total indictment of what a sorry bunch of no-count scoundrels are running that failing enterprise THIS is it. Even Jim Goodmon is not THAT much of a total hypocrite!

Barber wraps himself in fancy vestments like Xerxes leading the Persians into Greece….. and is allowed to get away with doing so by a sycophant media.

Now we are being told that God is in favor of Abortion ?? Set aside for a minute whether or not God is OK with homosexuals. Save that one for another day. Just give me the chapter and verse where God is in favor of Abortion.

And…. has any crazy Tea Partier ever objected to prayer in schools?

And…. has any right-winger ever demanded a Nativity scene been removed?

And…. have “people like me” ever been offended by a display of The Ten Commandments?

If God pays attention to Brother Bill’s rants, dontcha figure He has also noticed the above?

I’m no theologian but the only correlation I can see between God and Barber’s Mob is………. Jesus wore sandals.

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