“But nobody I know voted for……!”

June23/ 2013

I’ve always figured this is mythical or apocryphal or occurred during the reign of the Emperor Tiberius but it is sooo adaptable to many incidents on the current political battlefield.

One oft-repeated version involves an election-night party on New York’s Upper East side in 1980……. NYC’s “Upper East Side” is where the term Limo-Liberal was first used. Trust fund babies and their eccentric aunts hang out to compare MENSA keys, plan pilgrimmages to Hyannisport, and misquote Nietzsche and/or Kierkegaard. (Yes, I spelled Kierkegaard right the first time!)

They are forever gathering like bejeweled ants because they know if they fail to show for a party then they will become the prime gossip target of the evening. They don’t move about so much as they swarm.

So, according to one version of the myth/legend, on Election Night 1980 a covey of’em had gathered to watch the returns come in and celebrate Jimma Carter’s certain renomination. Reread that sentence just for giggles and grins. Recall how the night went….. Ronnie Raygun “only” took 44 of the 50 states.

The self-consumed doyens were mortified and mystified prompting Gladys to turn to Hildegaard with a look of ultimate puzzlement and say:

“How could this Reagan person possibly win?
… No one I know voted for him…..”

A seminal truth of political reality was duly recorded. “But no one I know voted for him.” Everyone say a Big Amen BrotherPierce.

I smile recalling that line any time I read a political story coming out of Chapel Hill or from Barber’s Monday Mini-multitude.

For all their own shortcomings, most Conservatives do acknowledge the existence of “people who don’t see the world exactly like I do.” A Liberal cannot afford to even consider the possibility that his/her rolodex does not contain everyone of significance..

NOTE: A “rolodex” is what your granddaddy called his “contact list”.

Barber’s Monday Mini-multitude composed of “clergy”(hehehe), earth mothers, octogenarian anarchists, lactose intolerant dog walkers and media hacks is NOT the voters who swept the current NC General Assembly into office BY A LANDSLIDE

( “…. lactose intolerant dog walkers…” Oh My! No more calls. We’re purty sure we have a winnah with this one.)

Find three of Barber’s bunch who will say they have EVER voted for a Republican and two will be lying. The third doesn’t speak English and thought you said “Here, hold this sign and look really earnestly at that camera.”

These loonies demanding that Republican lawmakers “Quit right now or Reverend Barber is gonna tell God to smite you” ain’t the overwhelming majority of NC voters who put those eeeevil Republican legislators and senators and Governor in office….. BY A LANDSLIDE! An “overwhelming majority of NC voters” ALL of whom, we must add, do have a valid picture ID.

Their goofy demands ain’t “the will of the people”. It’s simply the orchestrated whines of a batch of self-righteous pinheads with nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon. …. (“pinheads” AND lactose intolerant dog walkers)

Pinheads who are following Bill Barber for Heavens sake. And you thought Jim & Tammi Faye Bakker’s fleeced flock were gullible geese!

Imagine you are getting prepped for high-risk surgery early Tuesday morning and your surgeon strolls in wearing a “I Hate All Republicans because Bill Barber Tells Me Too” t-shirt. You would hightail it outta that OR dragging your gurney and IV bag behind you. Relax…. there are zero “surgeons” among Bill’s Bunch.

The two celebrity Barber-ians are Congressman David Price (D) and a fella named Otto who says he was the late Bill Friday’s cable guy.

When Reverend Bill is whipping’em into a glassy-eyed frenzy with his pre-rally histrionics, he ain’t changing any minds. He’s stirring’em up so no body falls asleep on the picket line. Dozing protestors make bad B-roll for the hordes of media hacks. Yes, “the hordes of media hacks” do count themselves to get those inflated attendance figures. In fact they count themselves twice.

Do Barber’s attendance counters also work for the WNBA? How do you get 986 people in one old church bus and a Vespa scooter?

The very elitiest “but no body I know…..” crowd live over in Chapel Hill. These goobers live 24/7 within their own little bubble except for three Prius-fulls who work at Red Hat in RTP. The average Franklin Streeter has less contact with the rest of the world than a agrophobic Sasquatch. (Don’t even think about reusing that line without crediting moi!)

A prairie dog in the Sonoran desert who peeks out of his burrow five times a day to look for whatever prairie dogs look for has a broader “world view” than a Franklin Streeter.

I once asked a prairie dog if he knew how Ronald Reagan won 44 states in 1980. “Sure” he quickly replied. “His opponent was Billy Carter’s idiot brother.”

A freakin’ prairie dog smarter than an Upper East Side Limo Liberal? Go figure.

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