Debbie “The Diva” Ross Goes Bye-Bye

May03/ 2013

No more “….. saaaaddd days for North Carolina” ??? It is with profound lament that I must report the departure from the NC General Assembly of Deborah Ross (D-Wake) ….. aka “Chatty Cathy” aka “Cruella” aka “Debbie The DemDiva”. It just won’t be the same without Deb’s flowery flatulent filiblusters on every single issue…. yes EVERY SINGLE ISSUE.

The NC General Assembly is a serious place where really really important stuff is discussed by really really self-important politicians; but, by golly, it is also a comedy club that on any given day is a better show than Charlie Goodnights’.

It is over-the-top loquacious loons like Deborah Ross (D-Wake) that make me suggest “they” really should consider selling tickets for the spectator balcony of the NC House. When the word got out what a hoot this gal is, “they” could gross more revenue than the Lottery. But its too late now ‘cause Debbie Diva is going by-by.

No more “Mr Speaker, I rise to debate this bill. It is a saaaad day for North Carolina when…..” followed by a Rossian rant de jour. A fellow House member once speculated Debbie was auditioning for a Cary Community Theater production of Evita. Ouch!

“Debbie Diva”, a six-term representative, is exiting stage “left” (of course) to be General Counsel for Charlie Meeker’s Choo Choo….. aka The (infamous) Triangle Transit Authority. Yes, Debbie will be “the lawyer for the bus company”.

A Rumor that Dumplin’”One & Done” Perdue had also applied for the prestigious (?) position cannot be confirmed.

How much Deb will gross as “lawyer for the bus company” was not revealed but we’re sure it is commensurate with her talents. Whether she gets a star on her dressing room door has not been decided.

Although quite the extreme little liberal, Debbie was not racially-correct enough to merit an Obamic appointment . Mel Watt and Anthony Foxx being more “qualified” in that respect. Not that anyone pays attention to that…. of course.

The past three years have been very saaaaad for Debbie as the eeeevil Republicans sent her and her loonie liberal cohorts literally and figuretively to the basement of the General Assembly. Divas don’t do too well in dark dank basements.

If one DID pay attention to such irrelevancies as epidermal suitability, one might notice that quite blond and quite white Debbie had become “the token white chick” in the House Democrat Caucus. It is one thing for Thom Tillis to ignore Deborah but quite another for her own (supposed) teammates to ignore her……. sooooo saaaaad.

Will there be more token white Demo-rats fleeing the Jones Street ship? Stay tuned.

Debbie’s trademark “…… it is a saaaaad day for North Carolina.” will be wailed one last time on May 31. Will Jimmy Goodmon send his WRAL dumpster divers and a film crew to record Deb’s final mournful aria?

Hey look, I know 95% of you don’t “get” my continual referencing Deborah Ross’ trademark wail – “it’s a saaaad day for North Carolina”. But this column has a very large readership among state lawmakers and, trust me, THEY GET IT and are laughing their butts off.

When a politician’s repetitive rhetoric becomes a punch-line “drinking game” among her fellow representatives, it tends to dilute her effectiveness.

Debbie will be replaced…. oops, bad choice of words…. no one could replace Deborah Ross….. Debbie’s seat will likely be filled by Grier Martin. Grier, despite being ideologically confused, is a pretty good guy….. for a Democrat.

The local bus company is getting a new lawyer and the NC House is losing a diva. A Win-Win ? ……. sooooo saaaaad!

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