A Very Pompous Circumstance

May15/ 2012

If there is any seasonal tradition more over-rated than “commencement speaking” ? Try to imagine something not named Kardashian. See, you can’t. It is the cotton candy of the public addressing bizness. So naturally, pompous pseudo-intellectual libs eat it up. To a liberal snoot, having a captive audience of tomorrow’s leaders is “to die & go to …… wherever libs go when they die” ………
It is a triple-barreled tradition:

Barrel One: Whattzamatta U invites Radical Anarchist, Liberal Ichabod or Femi-Nazi to deliver their commencement address …..

Barrel Two: Aforementioned Lib Loonie says something quite looney and the local media sticks it “above-the-fold”…..

Barrel Three: Parents who footed the bill for Dick & Jane to matriculate at dear ol’ Whattzamatta are outraged …..

Wait one year – repeat the above. What’s that definition of insanity – repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Is there a better example of than this silly ritual?

“Graduating from college” IS a bona-fide BIG DEAL for every family. In the moment it is a Top Three Rite of Passage. As the years pile up it slips further down the list of one’s BIG DEALS to eventually rest between “learning to ride a two-wheeler” and “attending a practice round at The Masters” but, for one Spring day it is a certified BIG DEAL.

Other than the stage filled with a dozen or so be-robed Who-dats, Deans, and a Provost or two in funny hats; everyone else is there for ONE REASON:

….. The 20 seconds it takes one son/daughter to walk across the stage and be handed his/her certificate of matriculation aka “diploma”. ….. Everything else is quite irrelevant.

Moms tear up….. Dads tear up too AND make some lame comment about how much it all costs….. and new grad hugs several classmates and mumbles some pithy bromide that “we will keep in touch and always be friends” (yeah, right).

Multiply that Hallmark moment by several 1,000 and you have all that really counts about commencement.

OK, add in “toss a beach ball around”….. “perform some Look At Me Be A Fool End Zone Dance” ….. “try to guess which coeds are totally nekkid under their gowns” ….. and pretend you know the words to the alma mater.

Among the other irrelevances of the occasion, nothing is more-so than “the commencement speaker”.

Pseudo-intellectual liberal snoots dominate commencement speaking like black guys dominate the NBA and guys named Manning dominate NFL quarterbacking. It belongs to them. Arguing about it doesn’t change anything.

NOTE: Yes, speaking of NFL QBs, I applaud NCSU for having Philip Rivers deliver their commencement address. That refreshing exception proves my rule.

Here are the FACTS of how much they (liberal snoots) dominate “commencement speaking”.

How Much Liberals Dominate Commencement Speaking


Why is this so? SIMPLE: Most colleges have a student committee decide who to invite as our commencement speaker. In the long history of American education NOT ONCE has a cool guy or gal ever been caught dead on that committee. It is strictly for the “guys with no chest hair” and “girls with bad complexions” bunch. After commencement committee they move on to be “activists” practicing poor personal hygiene.

The Anarchist/Ichabod/Femi-Nazi blathers for 20 minutes…. mentions Horatio Alger, Che Guevarra and Rachel Carson…. makes a teary admonition…. collects a hefty fee…. and is driven to the airport by a commencement committee member driving a Volt.

Liberals in general and the assorted sideshow freak factions that go into the rhubard pie known as The Democrat Party don’t bring too many marketable skills to the table. Their group curriculum vitae is remarkably shallow. Being terminally constipated and “hating Rush Limbaugh” are about it.

I left out “being beady-eyed” and “having a weak handshake”. You can count those as “skills” if you want to.

I say we let’em have “commencement speaking” and the rest of us get on with our lives.

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