Dumbplin’ Does It Again!

May12/ 2012

To paraphrase a former distaff Guvy – “She can’t help it. She was born with her widdle footsie in her mouth.” North Carolina’s Gubernatorial embarrassment – Dumplin’ – proved she doesn’t need a Rotary Club audience to hit herself in the face with a crème pie. …. The question being asked among her own party – “Is Bev auditioning to replace Joe Biden as National Not-Housebroken Puppy?”

Political historians scrambled to rate Bevie-Poo’s latest blurt among AllTime Dumbest Comments Ever Blurted By A Dumplin….. Meanwhile:

The city of New Bern erected a hastily built sign at its city limits – Bev Perdue Was NOT Born Here.

The world famous chicken company produced geneology records that “that idiot governor in North Carolina is NOT related to our founders at all”.

The prestigious University in West Lafayette, Indiana was quick to remind one and all – “We are spelled Purdue. That dim-witted gooberette in North Carolina spells it Perdue.” Famous Boilermakers Drew Brees and NCSU Chancellor Randy Woodson both issued similar reminders.

Even Dumplin’ spouse – Bob Eaves – remarked – “Now you know why I insisted she keep HER name.” Reminding one and all of the wisdom of Mike Nifong’s spouse who knew better than be “a Nifong”.

Embattled NC Democratic Chairman David “Dwight” Parker and his former right-hand Predator “Just Friendly” Jay Parmely aren’t happy. “She forced us to resign because WE were an embarrassment ???”

A spokesperson for The National Association Of Governors Who Pee Sitting Down pleaded with America to “don’t measure all female governors by one very dim bulb.”

America’s Most Famous Female Governor – Sarah Palin – just flashed her famous wink.

A spokesman for “Box O’ Rocks” has asked that they please not be used as a comparison to this clueless twit….. as in “dumber than a _____”.

From his Illinois prison cell, Blago smiled and said “I thought NC was trying to be “like Illinois” with all our gubernatorial jailbirds.”

Governor Nikki Haley’s office in neighboring South Carolina were quick with their press release – Don’t confuse Nikki with that nitwit in the other Carolina.

From his restaurant in Manteo, longtime political chum Marc Basnight just sighed. “Tony (Rand) and I knew she was a total airhead, but we thought we would be there to prevent the world from finding that out. We apologize to all our fellow North Carolinians. This is so sad.”

Indeed, NC Governor Beverly Perdue showed she does not need a Cary Rotary Club audience to display her dumbest Dumplin. Recall she told those Rotarians that:

“maybe we should cancel these November elections so we can concentrate on the economy.”

And many, underestimating her profound stoopidity, thought THAT would be her #1 All Time Dumbest Quote. Boy, Bev sure showed them, huh. Referring to the recent OVERWHELMING statewide support of a marriage amendment earlier in the week, Dumplin’ blurted to reporters in Greenville:

“…… Folks are saying, ‘What in the world is going on in North Carolina?’ We look like Mississippi. ……..” (CLICK)

Still “smarting” (bad choice of words) from being resoundingly booed in the Democratic stronghold of Chapel Hill, Bev may have been trolling for support from that motley mélange of sideshow freaks. It didn’t work. A Carrboro Sister of Sappho remarked “We apologize to all our fellow Lesbos in Mississippi. That bimbo bitch ain’t one of us.”

Fearing that Dumplin might indeed be auditioning for his job, VP Bozo Joe Biden smirked that “all them Indian 7-11 managers back in Delaware will tell ya there ain’t nobody dumber than ol’ Joe Biden. Nobody.”

Don’t be so sure about that Joe.

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