The National Not-Housebroken Puppy

May04/ 2012

“Best Of” and “Alltime #1” lists can be found on every topic under the sun. Ardent partisans vigorously argue on behalf of their guy over pretenders supported by others….. Unitas vs Montana, Brady or Manning. Sean Connery’s Bond vs Roger Moore’s, Pierce Brisnan’s …… etc etc. Is it time now to anoint Joe Biden as THE Single Most Embarrassing Democrat of All Time? Before you immediately say absolutely – remember Jimmy Carter and Algore.

I saw Joe’s potential back when he was only embarrassing the State of Delaware. Delaware is a suburb of Cherry Hill, NJ for those not geopolitically astute.

Delaware has three claims to “fame”. (1) It is easy to get incorporated there. (2) Bozo Joe claims to be “from there” and (3) ……. ?? OK, two claims to fame.

What can you say for a State whose state motto is We’re Slightly Bigger Than Rhode Island.

I think I understand a Vice President’s role. It used to be “attend funerals of dead kings and potentates of obscure fiefdoms that the POTUS doesn’t want to go to”. And “deliver keynote address at national conventions of groups that think they matter but really don’t”.

Joe has done both of the above and managed to piss in punchbowls pretty much every time. Joe has the unique ability to piss in punch bowls even when there are no punch bowls.

Joe Biden is the National Not-Housebroken Puppy.

….. except puppies can be cute even when they piddle on your expensive Persian rug. The only time anyone referred to Joe Biden as “cute” was when the only other choice was Henry Waxman. …… Henry Waxman – Oh MY! THAT is one really scary dude. I digress.

Listing even a sampling of “that time Biden embarrassed America by saying ______” is impossible. You get bogged down trying to limit the examples to under 100.

Dunden Mifflin rejected Joe to replace “Michael” as its Regional Manager in Scranton. Their reason “Believe it or not we DO have some standards.”

A liberal acquaintance who fancies himself QUITE the faux-intellectual (who doesn’t know one of THOSE?) told me several years ago – “Joe Biden and Al Gore are two of the most astute political intellects of our time.” I was speechless but managed to recover….

“I assume you are just counting ‘on your side?” I added “I am going to quote you on THAT soooo many times”. And I have.

My favorite “Joe Biden Joke” is “Why did Obama pick Biden as his Veep?” ….. “The one white guy he KNEW even he was smarter than.”

If Joe Biden were a “cause of death” he would be Blunt Force Tauma.

The jug-eared Commie is correct. Say what you will about the media-fueled scam that “Obama is sooooo smart”. Even the most ardent Obama critic will admit “yeah, he (BHO) is lots smarter than Biden”.

Being “lots smarter than Joe Biden” is akin to being “the 3rd tallest munchkin in MunkinLand”.

Joe Biden is Obama’s best insurance of his own personal safety. Any one considering harming Obama has to consider “who is next in the line of succession”. That answer gives America goosebumps. The answer to “what about after that idiot Biden” USED to be every bit as scary – Nancy Pelosi. Luckily in 2010, that witch had a house dropped on her and was reduced to a trivia question.

I appreciate and so enjoyed that the Left really really hated Dick Cheney. They called him every nasty name they could come up with. And NOBODY can come out with nasty names like the Left. They were scared spitless of Cheney.

The Left certainly berated Dan Quayle. “Spelling potato” will forever haunt him. Joe won’t have that problem because no one can agree on even the Top Twenty REALLY Stoopid Things Joe Has Said – This Week. Much less in the past three years.

But there is a danger in getting caught up in the current moment. Just because Joe is Today’s Looniest Lefty and his hourly gaffes get tweeted around the world before he can extract his foot from his pie hole…. we should NEVER forget Crazy Algore and Peanut Jimmy.

Algore punctuated his verbal diarrhea by screeching and spewing and stabbinmg his finger in the air finger. Jimmy ??….. well Jimma drools peanut butter down his chin and wets himself. Jimma being incontinent while negotiating with Kim Jung Il was not a high point of American diplomacy…. but may have been for Jimma.

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